Might be that they were depressed because where you live gays don't get treated so well. That would be depressing for someone gay. Thing is, middle age depression really isn't that uncommon. I can't even begin tell you how many 40-ish friends I have who are dissatisfied with their lives. The gay people I know are pretty much no different, and may well have higher job satisfaction/life satisfaction and relationship satisfaction than the people I know who are ticking off days til their kids go to college so they can make a run for it.
Just a thought.
I dont think location is relevent... We live outside Collingswood, which is gay central in S.Jersey with very little to no antigay sentiment... You are correct about depression with men in their 40's but the evidence I gave showed that it is much higher in gay men than straight...
straight men are depressed because for forty years they woke up with nothing but a stiff pecker... now when we wake up its the only thing thats not stiff... It must be the same for gay guys!
Case solved ...