Half Of Married Women Have A Back-up Husband In Mind.

[Rikurzhen]

Funny. Women complain a lot about men who won't commit but once men get married it seems like it's women who have a problem staying committed - over 70% of divorces are initiated by women and now we find out that 50% already have a back-up husband in mind. Yowza!

According to a recent Mail survey of 1000 married ladies, half of all women have a backup husband in mind should their current one break during use. Or, you know, should the marriage not work out for whatever reason.

Some truly prepared wives may even have more than one backup in mind just in case. The survey also shows that a wife’s spousal-understudy is most likely to be either an ex or an old friend who has always had unrequited feelings for her. The most likely backup husband was a man the woman had known “for around seven years who will be ‘ready and waiting’ because of ‘unfinished business.’” Even more telling, around one in ten women said their backup was a man who had already “confessed his undying love,” while one in five women were confident the backup guy would “drop everything for her if she asked him too.”

Being prepared is one thing, but one in four women also reported having feelings for their backup man “as strong as they do for their other half.” That’s perhaps a step beyond prepared.

While living with a few necessary safeguards in place is always advisable, the concept of having a backup spouse in mind in case things don’t work out undermines your present relationship in more ways then one. The energy you spend keeping one eye on your plan b or obsessing over “what if” end of relationship scenarios is much better spent focusing on making your marriage work and keeping communication open and consistent. (The same goes for any guys with “backup wives,” too.) The concept of preparing for an imagined worst case takes you as far out of the present as possible. Living with a backup spouse in mind is like boarding a vacation cruise wearing a life jacket for the duration of the trip. It’s excessive behavior that grimly reminds you and those around you that there is a chance things may not go well.​

 

[SmarterThanTheAverageBear]

The Olsen Twins are my back up wives.

 

[Mad Scientist]

I think most young guys realize this.

Guys will break it off and THEN look for a new one but they know that most women will cheat a little while before the breakup as a sort of transition into the new relationship.

It's just they way we're configured.

Men like the Hunt.
Women want the Security.

 

[Rikurzhen]

I think most young guys realize this.

Guys will break it off and THEN look for a new one but they know that most women will cheat a little while before the breakup as a sort of transition into the new relationship.

It's just they way we're configured.

Men like the Hunt.
Women want the Security.

Which of course ties into the finding that women who have a high partner count are less likely to be happy in a marriage.

 

[SmarterThanTheAverageBear]

I think most young guys realize this.

Guys will break it off and THEN look for a new one but they know that most women will cheat a little while before the breakup as a sort of transition into the new relationship.

It's just they way we're configured.

Men like the Hunt.
Women want the Security.

Which of course ties into the finding that women who have a high partner count are less likely to be happy in a marriage.

I'm glad I can guarantee my wife will never cheat nor leave.

 

[AquaAthena]

Funny. Women complain a lot about men who won't commit but once men get married it seems like it's women who have a problem staying committed - over 70% of divorces are initiated by women and now we find out that 50% already have a back-up husband in mind. Yowza!

According to a recent Mail survey of 1000 married ladies, half of all women have a backup husband in mind should their current one break during use. Or, you know, should the marriage not work out for whatever reason.

Some truly prepared wives may even have more than one backup in mind just in case. The survey also shows that a wife’s spousal-understudy is most likely to be either an ex or an old friend who has always had unrequited feelings for her. The most likely backup husband was a man the woman had known “for around seven years who will be ‘ready and waiting’ because of ‘unfinished business.’” Even more telling, around one in ten women said their backup was a man who had already “confessed his undying love,” while one in five women were confident the backup guy would “drop everything for her if she asked him too.”

Being prepared is one thing, but one in four women also reported having feelings for their backup man “as strong as they do for their other half.” That’s perhaps a step beyond prepared.

While living with a few necessary safeguards in place is always advisable, the concept of having a backup spouse in mind in case things don’t work out undermines your present relationship in more ways then one. The energy you spend keeping one eye on your plan b or obsessing over “what if” end of relationship scenarios is much better spent focusing on making your marriage work and keeping communication open and consistent. (The same goes for any guys with “backup wives,” too.) The concept of preparing for an imagined worst case takes you as far out of the present as possible. Living with a backup spouse in mind is like boarding a vacation cruise wearing a life jacket for the duration of the trip. It’s excessive behavior that grimly reminds you and those around you that there is a chance things may not go well.​

I never did.

I think most young guys realize this.

Guys will break it off and THEN look for a new one but they know that most women will cheat a little while before the breakup as a sort of transition into the new relationship.

It's just they way we're configured.

Men like the Hunt.
Women want the Security.

mm no...guys will have one in mind before the split. Guys can't handle life alone. Women can and do. And never did I have another in mind when I split. Never. In fact it was the last thing I wanted...another one. ( but they did come along )

 

[Rikurzhen]

Guys can't handle life alone. Women can and do

This is because men concentrate their emotional lives onto their wives while women have pretty broad networks of friends into which they can reach for emotional support. When a split happens, for women the loss of husband is simply the loss of one node in the emotional network whereas for men it's the whole network failing.

Another way to look at this is that men are more committed, they put all their emotional eggs into one basket.

 

[saveliberty]

Life is short, why spend all that time figuring out women? Find one you like and settle down, it works or it doesn't.

 

[AquaAthena]

Guys can't handle life alone. Women can and do

This is because men concentrate their emotional lives onto their wives while women have pretty broad networks of friends into which they can reach for emotional support. When a split happens, for women the loss of husband is simply the loss of one node in the emotional network whereas for men it's the whole network failing.

Another way to look at this is that men are more committed, they put all their emotional eggs into one basket.

I'm sorry but what emotional eggs?? If they actually had emotional eggs, we would stay happier. AND....I have NEVER needed any network of women or emotional support... in order to stand up to life. Never! I'm a strong woman. I don't need anyone but myself to be happy. And I do what it takes to keep it that way. Wish we had a smilie for self-hugs.

But here is something for you, for at least trying to correctly analyze the topic.

 

[saveliberty]

Treat others as you would like to be treated. If you are fortunate, your spouse will do the same.

 

[bodecea]

I wonder how many wives have a back up woman ready to go.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

I think most young guys realize this.

Guys will break it off and THEN look for a new one but they know that most women will cheat a little while before the breakup as a sort of transition into the new relationship.

It's just they way we're configured.

Men like the Hunt.
Women want the Security.

Which of course ties into the finding that women who have a high partner count are less likely to be happy in a marriage.

Do you ever get anything right?

The male is hard wired to want young, fertile women to insure offspring and the female is hard wired to want security for her children.

And, no, @Mad Scientist, its not true that "most women will cheat a little".

 

[Rikurzhen]

Guys can't handle life alone. Women can and do

This is because men concentrate their emotional lives onto their wives while women have pretty broad networks of friends into which they can reach for emotional support. When a split happens, for women the loss of husband is simply the loss of one node in the emotional network whereas for men it's the whole network failing.

Another way to look at this is that men are more committed, they put all their emotional eggs into one basket.

I'm sorry but what emotional eggs?? If they actually had emotional eggs, we would stay happier. AND....I have NEVER needed any network of women or emotional support... in order to stand up to life. Never! I'm a strong woman. I don't need anyone but myself to be happy. And I do what it takes to keep it that way. Wish we had a smilie for self-hugs.

But here is something for you, for at least trying to correctly analyze the topic.

I wasn't trying to speak to your personal relationships. Lots of research has documented that friendships between women differ in nature from the friendships men have with other men. Men will be with friends and they DO THINGS or talk about THINGS but rarely do they discuss feelings. Many a times men will introduce a male friend to the new girlfriend and later in the evening, after the male friend has departed, the man will be surprised when his girlfriend reveals some personal detail she dug out of the male friend that she just met and which was unknown to her boyfriend, friends with the guy for a decade or more.

This ties into the higher male suicide rate for divorced men who don't remarry. The only person they're used to opening up to has left them. Meanwhile, women usually find that they can lean on their female friends.

 

[Rikurzhen]

I think most young guys realize this.

Guys will break it off and THEN look for a new one but they know that most women will cheat a little while before the breakup as a sort of transition into the new relationship.

It's just they way we're configured.

Men like the Hunt.
Women want the Security.

Which of course ties into the finding that women who have a high partner count are less likely to be happy in a marriage.

Do you ever get anything right?

The male is hard wired to want young, fertile women to insure offspring and the female is hard wired to want security for her children.

Let me help you out so that you don't get confused in the future, I get everything right.

What you wrote is orthogonal to the point. You see that, right? It says nothing about female happiness.

 

[Kondor3]

It seems a good bet that a large percentage of both women and men have a successor partner or two in-mind before they split.

 

[thereisnospoon]

Guys can't handle life alone. Women can and do

This is because men concentrate their emotional lives onto their wives while women have pretty broad networks of friends into which they can reach for emotional support. When a split happens, for women the loss of husband is simply the loss of one node in the emotional network whereas for men it's the whole network failing.

Another way to look at this is that men are more committed, they put all their emotional eggs into one basket.

Men should never allow their wives to associate with single or especially divorced women.

 

[Rikurzhen]

Treat others as you would like to be treated. If you are fortunate, your spouse will do the same.

Life doesn't work that way, especially in relations between men and women.

If you want a new set of tools for your car, don't buy your wife a new set of kitchen pots for her birthday in the expectation that she'll buy you new wrenches for your car for your birthday.

 

[Rikurzhen]

Guys can't handle life alone. Women can and do

This is because men concentrate their emotional lives onto their wives while women have pretty broad networks of friends into which they can reach for emotional support. When a split happens, for women the loss of husband is simply the loss of one node in the emotional network whereas for men it's the whole network failing.

Another way to look at this is that men are more committed, they put all their emotional eggs into one basket.

Men should never allow their wives to associate with single or especially divorced women.

This is true. Research shows that divorce follows a network type pattern. If a woman's friends are getting divorced this actually increases the likelihood that she'll follow the same path.

The same logic applies to married women having a lot of single girlfriends and going out with them - that's just playing with a loaded revolver.

 

[Ravi]

My back up husband is Han Solo, but sadly he got too old.

 

[saveliberty]

Treat others as you would like to be treated. If you are fortunate, your spouse will do the same.

Life doesn't work that way, especially in relations between men and women.

If you want a new set of tools for your car, don't buy your wife a new set of kitchen pots for her birthday in the expectation that she'll buy you new wrenches for your car for your birthday.

You don't treat others as you expect to be treated, but as you would like to be treated.