Glorifying the single mother?

[Connery]

Has anyone noticed in the last few years, the glorifying of the single mother? At least once a day my Facebook feed shows yet another "single mothers are superheroes" or some such thing.

Why?

Single mothers= women who choose poor life partners.

What is with the attempt to turn caring for your own child into some sort of special achievement?

There are many degrees of "caring" for your child. To some it is dropping the child off at day care while they go to work. To others it is making sure they are available to be there for their child and be "hands on" and involved.

Kudos do not mean much in any reality, what matters is doing the best anyone can. Life throws curve balls, sometimes what seems like a good choice in marriage partner goes wrong what matters is staying being a parent. Giving a child stability and making them feel safe and secure. Being someone the child can look up to with respect and admiration. Life is hard, parenting is harder and at night when tucking your child and looking into their eyes you know that there is no love like that anywhere else on this earth.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

I'm still not clear on whether its only single mothers who are being demonized? or, does this include single fathers as well?

Either way, its indefensible.

 

[AmyNation]

I'm still not clear on whether its only single mothers who are being demonized? or, does this include single fathers as well?

Either way, its indefensible.

You make a very good point.


Is it impossible to not demonize the single parent status, while still promoting 2 parent households? There has to be a medium between shaming people and glorifying a condition that is not best for children.

 

[uscitizen]

Single Mom's are the future of this country.
Traditional marriage is considered a joke...
Now the Democrat party is pushing gay marriage and single Mom's as the way to go..

I bet the Democrat party loves OCTOMOM....

Bristol Palin.

 

[Connery]

I'm still not clear on whether its only single mothers who are being demonized? or, does this include single fathers as well?

Either way, its indefensible.

You make a very good point.


Is it impossible to not demonize the single parent status, while still promoting 2 parent households? There has to be a medium between shaming people and glorifying a condition that is not best for children.

Attempting to demonize any responsible parent, single or not, is a cheap shot.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

I'm still not clear on whether its only single mothers who are being demonized? or, does this include single fathers as well?

Either way, its indefensible.

You make a very good point.


Is it impossible to not demonize the single parent status, while still promoting 2 parent households? There has to be a medium between shaming people and glorifying a condition that is not best for children.

Attempting to demonize any responsible parent, single or not, is a cheap shot.

I absolutely agree and I can't imagine what Amy Nation had in mind with this thread.

I'm remembering back to the R's attacks on single mothers - disgusting.

 

[Dreamy]

Kids are either precious or a burden on society.

I go with the former.

So do single mothers and fathers.

I just can't wrap my head around that being a bad thing.

What's really bizarre is that these people chose not to abort. Where are all the anti-choice people in this? Or, are they doing what they always do? Deserting the kid once its born.

Are the only choices abortion or single parenthood? Perhaps another choice might be to make babies(or prevent pregnancy if the sex partner is not parent material) only with men or women that you would want to be a co-parent with you? Just a thought. I kind of like to see children raised by both parents as much and as often as possible.

 

[Dreamy]

I'm still not clear on whether its only single mothers who are being demonized? or, does this include single fathers as well?

Either way, its indefensible.

You make a very good point.


Is it impossible to not demonize the single parent status, while still promoting 2 parent households? There has to be a medium between shaming people and glorifying a condition that is not best for children.

Attempting to demonize any responsible parent, single or not, is a cheap shot.

True but I have known women who made babies with men knowing the men were never going to be father material but they thought and they believed that the growing life inside of them would "change" these men. It did not usually. Was that responsible thinking and or planning? I am not talking about marriages gone bad. Those happen. I am talking about babies being carelessly created before marriage or even a solid commitment from a sex partner.

Get better birth control or better men maybe?

 

[April]

Has anyone noticed in the last few years, the glorifying of the single mother? At least once a day my Facebook feed shows yet another "single mothers are superheroes" or some such thing.

Why?

Single mothers= women who choose poor life partners.

What is with the attempt to turn caring for your own child into some sort of special achievement?

after my father died, my mom was a single mother of six.

did she choose a poor life partner?

My thoughts the same...was going to respond with the same sentiments before reading the first part of this thread.
I became a widow to three. My husband was my everything...then he left us.

 

[Dreamy]

Has anyone noticed in the last few years, the glorifying of the single mother? At least once a day my Facebook feed shows yet another "single mothers are superheroes" or some such thing.

Why?

Single mothers= women who choose poor life partners.

What is with the attempt to turn caring for your own child into some sort of special achievement?

after my father died, my mom was a single mother of six.

did she choose a poor life partner?

My thoughts the same...was going to respond with the same sentiments before reading the first part of this thread.
I became a widow to three. My husband was my everything...then he left us.

So sad AnD. Lost my Dad young too. Tough road sometimes.

I thought this was about women who never married but made babies with men who were good enough for sex but not so good in the fatherhood department. At least that is what I was addressing.

I see one as a choice and one as not.

 

[April]

after my father died, my mom was a single mother of six.

did she choose a poor life partner?

My thoughts the same...was going to respond with the same sentiments before reading the first part of this thread.
I became a widow to three. My husband was my everything...then he left us.

So sad AnD. Lost my Dad young too. Tough road sometimes.

I thought this was about women who never married but made babies with men who were good enough for sex but not so good in the fatherhood department. At least that is what I was addressing.

I see one as a choice and one as not.

Oh no, don't get me wrong...I understand what you are trying to convey...I too think a lot of women make poor choices in the men dept. when it comes to having babies.

IMO there are way too many women who 'hook up' only to end up pregnant...the fact that they end up having 3 or 4 children all fathered by different 'mates' doesn't qualify them to be praised for it...in fact, I think it's a bit sickening because it's the children that suffer, because more likely than not the mother is only out for herself...as is proven when she sets out to get pregnant or refuses to take the right action to prevent pregnancy.
Her carelessness and lack of morals only proves her to be the selfish bitch that she is. The father running off is just an addition to that selfishness.

 

[Connery]

You make a very good point.


Is it impossible to not demonize the single parent status, while still promoting 2 parent households? There has to be a medium between shaming people and glorifying a condition that is not best for children.

Attempting to demonize any responsible parent, single or not, is a cheap shot.

True but I have known women who made babies with men knowing the men were never going to be father material but they thought and they believed that the growing life inside of them would "change" these men. It did not usually. Was that responsible thinking and or planning? I am not talking about marriages gone bad. Those happen. I am talking about babies being carelessly created before marriage or even a solid commitment from a sex partner.

Get better birth control or better men maybe?

I qualified my statement with being a "responsible" parent. Attempting to be manipulative and using emotional blackmail is hardly responsible.

Better men is not the answer the woman who uses this to get her man has other issues which a man will not cure.

 

[Dreamy]

Attempting to demonize any responsible parent, single or not, is a cheap shot.

True but I have known women who made babies with men knowing the men were never going to be father material but they thought and they believed that the growing life inside of them would "change" these men. It did not usually. Was that responsible thinking and or planning? I am not talking about marriages gone bad. Those happen. I am talking about babies being carelessly created before marriage or even a solid commitment from a sex partner.

Get better birth control or better men maybe?

I qualified my statement with being a "responsible" parent. Attempting to be manipulative and using emotional blackmail is hardly responsible.

Better men is not the answer the woman who uses this to get her man has other issues which a man will not cure.

Not sure they are manipulative as much as totally unrealistic.

I have seen the same posts on FB that Amy was addressing and yes I know the background story on at least a few of them in my circle and the women chose poorly imo and now have created a world with struggle for themselves and their children as well a world with no father figure for their child. The cutesy FB signs make light of what really happened before. For the most part they chose men whose lack of responsibility was known to them and whose warnings signs were an automatic guarantee they were going to make them "single mothers".

Too many women make it too easy for these deadbeat men. Be choosy who you bed or at least be hard ass on the BC would be my advise.

 

[Connery]

True but I have known women who made babies with men knowing the men were never going to be father material but they thought and they believed that the growing life inside of them would "change" these men. It did not usually. Was that responsible thinking and or planning? I am not talking about marriages gone bad. Those happen. I am talking about babies being carelessly created before marriage or even a solid commitment from a sex partner.

Get better birth control or better men maybe?

I qualified my statement with being a "responsible" parent. Attempting to be manipulative and using emotional blackmail is hardly responsible.

Better men is not the answer the woman who uses this to get her man has other issues which a man will not cure.

Not sure they are manipulative as much as totally unrealistic.

I have seen the same posts on FB that Amy was addressing and yes I know the background story on at least a few of them in my circle and the women chose poorly imo and now have created a world with struggle for themselves and their children as well a world with no father figure for their child. The cutesy FB signs make light of what really happened before. For the most part they chose men whose lack of responsibility was known to them and whose warnings signs were an automatic guarantee they were going to make them "single mothers".

Too many women make it too easy for these deadbeat men. Be choosy who you bed or at least be hard ass on the BC would be my advise.

Creating a situation in which to trap a man into a commitment is manipulative. It is calculating and deceptive .

Being choosy and having a crystal ball. Men are not the only deadbeats emotionally or financially. Sometimes there are no warning signs, sometimes people just fall apart and become that which we would never consciously choose to be our mate. That is when parenthood really kicks in and there is no wiggle room to be a dead beat yourself.

 

[Dreamy]

I qualified my statement with being a "responsible" parent. Attempting to be manipulative and using emotional blackmail is hardly responsible.

Better men is not the answer the woman who uses this to get her man has other issues which a man will not cure.

Not sure they are manipulative as much as totally unrealistic.

I have seen the same posts on FB that Amy was addressing and yes I know the background story on at least a few of them in my circle and the women chose poorly imo and now have created a world with struggle for themselves and their children as well a world with no father figure for their child. The cutesy FB signs make light of what really happened before. For the most part they chose men whose lack of responsibility was known to them and whose warnings signs were an automatic guarantee they were going to make them "single mothers".

Too many women make it too easy for these deadbeat men. Be choosy who you bed or at least be hard ass on the BC would be my advise.

Creating a situation in which to trap a man into a commitment is manipulative. It is calculating and deceptive .

Being choosy and having a crystal ball. Men are not the only deadbeats emotionally or financially. Sometimes there are no warning signs, sometimes people just fall apart and become that which we would never consciously choose to be our mate. That is when parenthood really kicks in and there is no wiggle room to be a dead beat yourself.

Connery, I am actually posting on specific cases I know so I don't pretend to speak for all cases. What burns me is these relationships last barely to the birth of the child. So he was a great guy 9 months before they say but voila he is a monster by the time baby is born. I call these women starry eyed fools. I am not blaming men as much as I am women being too quick to make babies with men who just want to get laid. Dammit use the birth control is you want to play and stop thinking a good lay is also going to be a good dad. Until men can get pregnant this falls to women to be choosy.

 

[Connery]

Not sure they are manipulative as much as totally unrealistic.

I have seen the same posts on FB that Amy was addressing and yes I know the background story on at least a few of them in my circle and the women chose poorly imo and now have created a world with struggle for themselves and their children as well a world with no father figure for their child. The cutesy FB signs make light of what really happened before. For the most part they chose men whose lack of responsibility was known to them and whose warnings signs were an automatic guarantee they were going to make them "single mothers".

Too many women make it too easy for these deadbeat men. Be choosy who you bed or at least be hard ass on the BC would be my advise.

Creating a situation in which to trap a man into a commitment is manipulative. It is calculating and deceptive .

Being choosy and having a crystal ball. Men are not the only deadbeats emotionally or financially. Sometimes there are no warning signs, sometimes people just fall apart and become that which we would never consciously choose to be our mate. That is when parenthood really kicks in and there is no wiggle room to be a dead beat yourself.

Connery, I am actually posting on specific cases I know so I don't pretend to speak for all cases. What burns me is these relationships last barely to the birth of the child. So he was a great guy 9 months before they say but voila he is a monster by the time baby is born. I call these women starry eyed fools. I am not blaming men as much as I am women being too quick to make babies with men who just want to get laid. Dammit use the birth control is you want to play and stop thinking a good lay is also going to be a good dad. Until men can get pregnant this falls to women to be choosy.

I am speaking of actual circumstance as well.

 

[Dreamy]

Creating a situation in which to trap a man into a commitment is manipulative. It is calculating and deceptive .

Being choosy and having a crystal ball. Men are not the only deadbeats emotionally or financially. Sometimes there are no warning signs, sometimes people just fall apart and become that which we would never consciously choose to be our mate. That is when parenthood really kicks in and there is no wiggle room to be a dead beat yourself.

Connery, I am actually posting on specific cases I know so I don't pretend to speak for all cases. What burns me is these relationships last barely to the birth of the child. So he was a great guy 9 months before they say but voila he is a monster by the time baby is born. I call these women starry eyed fools. I am not blaming men as much as I am women being too quick to make babies with men who just want to get laid. Dammit use the birth control is you want to play and stop thinking a good lay is also going to be a good dad. Until men can get pregnant this falls to women to be choosy.

I am speaking of actual circumstance as well.

And that is why I think I get what Amy is saying here about FB posts. I have seen the same and it just is laughable calling some of these women "heroes" when they made some pretty dumb ass choices about who to make their baby's Daddy.

 

[Connery]

Connery, I am actually posting on specific cases I know so I don't pretend to speak for all cases. What burns me is these relationships last barely to the birth of the child. So he was a great guy 9 months before they say but voila he is a monster by the time baby is born. I call these women starry eyed fools. I am not blaming men as much as I am women being too quick to make babies with men who just want to get laid. Dammit use the birth control is you want to play and stop thinking a good lay is also going to be a good dad. Until men can get pregnant this falls to women to be choosy.

I am speaking of actual circumstance as well.

And that is why I think I get what Amy is saying here about FB posts. I have seen the same and it just is laughable calling some of these women "heroes" when they made some pretty dumb ass choices about who to make their baby's Daddy.

I am not concerned about dumb choices with the daddies I am concerned about the choices that will be made after the child is born.

Two things to attempt to rehabilitate this OP is senseless. Also, FB is a whole lotta nonsense.

 

[MHunterB]

I picked my husband precisely *because* he was wonderful Daddy material - I watched him get down on the floor and play with somebody's little one who was just at the 'cruising' stage, and he was really into it. That settled it for me! Never gave a thought to how we'd make a living......

 

[Dreamy]

I am speaking of actual circumstance as well.

And that is why I think I get what Amy is saying here about FB posts. I have seen the same and it just is laughable calling some of these women "heroes" when they made some pretty dumb ass choices about who to make their baby's Daddy.

I am not concerned about dumb choices with the daddies I am concerned about the choices that will be made after the child is born.

Two things to attempt to rehabilitate this OP is senseless. Also, FB is a whole lotta nonsense.

I think the topic is a valid one even without the FB aspect. The trouble is the potentially poor choices made after the child is born would not be a factor if the better choices were made before the child is conceived. In the end all most of us want is to see children raised by good parents, hopefully both parents.