Friendship

[Bonzi]

What would your definition be of a "friend"?
Do you have many "real friends"?

Do you think friendship means different things to different people?
Do you think it's possible for men/women to be friends without one being a "little more interested" than the other?

1. Someone that is there to tell you when you have messed up, and give you a kick in the pants when needed but also will not turn their back on you and are there through thick and thin...

2. I have a few real friends.

3. Yes, many people have a different view of what a friend is.

4. I believe Platonic relationship can be achieved between a man and a woman.

Platonic relationships are usually involuntary for the male.

Mudwhistle - I do love you! (.. as an acquaintance of course!)

 

[ChrisL]

I think Mr. Bruce Laney is not being completely honest. If he is a heterosexual man and finds a lady friend to be attractive, likes her personality, goes to her for emotional support, etc., it is only natural that intimacy and feelings beyond friendship will tend to develop. Now, if you keep that "friendship" to a more "acquaintance type" of level, that is something else.

 

[mudwhistle]

What would your definition be of a "friend"?
Do you have many "real friends"?

Do you think friendship means different things to different people?
Do you think it's possible for men/women to be friends without one being a "little more interested" than the other?

1. Someone that is there to tell you when you have messed up, and give you a kick in the pants when needed but also will not turn their back on you and are there through thick and thin...

2. I have a few real friends.

3. Yes, many people have a different view of what a friend is.

4. I believe Platonic relationship can be achieved between a man and a woman.

On your #4, don't you want to expand upon that . . . IF . . .

Nope, I have a female friend I would never expand the definition of friendship to a little bit more...

Friends are a branch of your family that you get to choose...

What I meant was "if" you find the woman unattractive.

The woman that is my friend is attractive and still no sexual feelings for her...

Just how I am...

Are you gay?

 

[mudwhistle]

What would your definition be of a "friend"?
Do you have many "real friends"?

Do you think friendship means different things to different people?
Do you think it's possible for men/women to be friends without one being a "little more interested" than the other?

1. Someone that is there to tell you when you have messed up, and give you a kick in the pants when needed but also will not turn their back on you and are there through thick and thin...

2. I have a few real friends.

3. Yes, many people have a different view of what a friend is.

4. I believe Platonic relationship can be achieved between a man and a woman.

Platonic relationships are usually involuntary for the male.

Mudwhistle - I do love you! (.. as an acquaintance of course!)

Ditto.

 

[Bonzi]

Someone who accepts ya no matter what and doesnt sit being judgey judgey all of the time. Someone who has your back no matter what, as well- and you can not-talk for 5 years and its still legit. Someone who doesnt flip dimes and bounce at the drop of a hat or because of a sudden miscommunication. Who doesnt expect expect expect, just enjoys.

someone who wants to talk to you ever day, can't wait to talk to you - if you are last in line, you are not a friend

 

[Bonzi]

If someone acts like they want to be your friend, talks to you every day then stops, but makes excuses

They are not your friend.... even if they won't admit it.

Yea well friendship is a 2 way street innit? There could be 7, 000 reasons. They coulda expected the other person 2 talk first. Etc etc. Thats a weak barometer. How about are they there for ya when like, your best friend dies or something, and not small shit like that other shit?

You can't be a friend if you are not real with yourself and willing to admit things.
Someone that lies to themselves is still a liar.

 

[Bonzi]

Tilly is very inuitive. ChrisL loves Bonzi topics. Bruce is not the only one, fuck the study.

Because she is real and puts her thoughts out there - instead of the BS that goes on over at the FZ.... but the FZ will be what it should be - a place to call people out for what they really are....

You oddly seem to think you are proving something. Go for it.

I'm being real... some people just are unable to do it... because they are too busy lying to themselves... and hiding in fantasies

 

[ChrisL]

If someone acts like they want to be your friend, talks to you every day then stops, but makes excuses

They are not your friend.... even if they won't admit it.

Yea well friendship is a 2 way street innit? There could be 7, 000 reasons. They coulda expected the other person 2 talk first. Etc etc. Thats a weak barometer. How about are they there for ya when like, your best friend dies or something, and not small shit like that other shit?

You can't be a friend if you are not real with yourself and willing to admit things.
Someone that lies to themselves is still a liar.

Very true. I don't know why people are getting so angry and defensive about this topic. It's totally natural for men and women who like each other and find each other attractive to develop feelings beyond friendship for one another. Not only is it natural, it is very, very common.

 

[mudwhistle]

I have to admit that since I've been married I haven't had any close friends.

Oh, and I've never had a female friend that was attractive yet I had no attractions for her. Face up to your humanity. It's okay to be sexually attracted to someone and not act on it. Sometimes that makes the friendship better.

 

[Bonzi]

If someone acts like they want to be your friend, talks to you every day then stops, but makes excuses

They are not your friend.... even if they won't admit it.

Yea well friendship is a 2 way street innit? There could be 7, 000 reasons. They coulda expected the other person 2 talk first. Etc etc. Thats a weak barometer. How about are they there for ya when like, your best friend dies or something, and not small shit like that other shit?

Not To You ....... means something to SOME people.....

 

[Bonzi]

I have to admit that since I've been married I haven't had any close friends.

Oh, and I've never had a female friend that was attractive yet I had no attractions for her. Face up to your humanity. It's okay to be sexually attracted to someone and not act on it. Sometimes that makes the friendship better.

dunno... depends on your commitment to your marriage, the health of your marriage and your will power.
seems like it's "tempting fate" to me....

 

[ChrisL]

Tilly is very inuitive. ChrisL loves Bonzi topics. Bruce is not the only one, fuck the study.

Because she is real and puts her thoughts out there - instead of the BS that goes on over at the FZ.... but the FZ will be what it should be - a place to call people out for what they really are....

You oddly seem to think you are proving something. Go for it.

I'm being real... some people just are unable to do it... because they are too busy lying to themselves... and hiding in fantasies

That's why a lot of people join these forums, so that they can live vicariously through the internet and try to be someone that they really are not. You see it over and over and over around here. It's a very odd phenomenon that a person can't even be honest with him or herself, especially when it comes to a simple biological fact like heterosexual sexual attraction to the opposite sex. Oy. You would think I was promoting genocide or something!

 

[Bonzi]

I like being what I am. I am more phony in real life! How ironic....

 

[mudwhistle]

You are just arguing against hard science and biological facts. No judgment is needed.

No, I am being told by someone that has had bad relationships in her life that all men are dogs, and can not be trusted. ( That is the opinion I have of you from the many responses I have read of yours! )

Where do you get the idea that I've had bad relationships? You know what? Never mind. Who cares?

You are making an outrageous claim here. That is all.

Well, to be fair, you too are making outrageous claims against Bruce. You can't tell him how he thinks just because a study indicated that many men do this, that or the other. I'm wondering why you get these bees in your bonnet whereby you start almost stalking people, telling them what they think and disbelieving what they tell you. It's quite offensive, when you become like a dog with a bone, imho.

Nope, just trying to get people to have an honest discussion instead of trying to make themselves sound special or like they don't experience these normal human feelings and emotions.

No, you're just being a bitch about this and if I do not act the way you believe I should then I must be a phony.

So come out and call me a damn phony and I will call you a clueless bitch!

 

[ChrisL]

I like being what I am. I am more phony in real life! How ironic....

I like honesty. It is a very important quality in a person for me. As soon as I find out a person is dishonest in some way, I am completely turned off to having a relationship of any kind with said person. I am very much a "self protective" and proactive person. I avoid certain types of people. I feel as if I've already met them, I already know what they're about.

 

[mudwhistle]

I have to admit that since I've been married I haven't had any close friends.

Oh, and I've never had a female friend that was attractive yet I had no attractions for her. Face up to your humanity. It's okay to be sexually attracted to someone and not act on it. Sometimes that makes the friendship better.

dunno... depends on your commitment to your marriage, the health of your marriage and your will power.
seems like it's "tempting fate" to me....

Well, if you don't want to test your resolve you could always refuse to make any friends. At this point perhaps the aggravation just isn't worth it anymore. I think that if a couple is truly happy they don't need friends anyway. They prefer each others company.

 

[Alex.]

I have to admit that since I've been married I haven't had any close friends.

Oh, and I've never had a female friend that was attractive yet I had no attractions for her. Face up to your humanity. It's okay to be sexually attracted to someone and not act on it. Sometimes that makes the friendship better.

dunno... depends on your commitment to your marriage, the health of your marriage and your will power.
seems like it's "tempting fate" to me....

Well, if you don't want to test your resolve you could always refuse to make any friends. At this point perhaps the aggravation just isn't worth it anymore. I think that if a couple is truly happy they don't need friends anyway. They prefer each others company.

Totally disagree with that. Being happy with each other has nothing to do with having friends outside of the relationship.

 

[Spinster]

[/QUOTE]
Well, if you don't want to test your resolve you could always refuse to make any friends. At this point perhaps the aggravation just isn't worth it anymore. I think that if a couple is truly happy they don't need friends anyway. They prefer each others company.[/QUOTE]

Agree, however, even if a couple is extremely happy, friendships can and do happen, they just aren't the main focus. Friendships, given that scenario, are secondary to the couple's.

 

[mudwhistle]

I have to admit that since I've been married I haven't had any close friends.

Oh, and I've never had a female friend that was attractive yet I had no attractions for her. Face up to your humanity. It's okay to be sexually attracted to someone and not act on it. Sometimes that makes the friendship better.

dunno... depends on your commitment to your marriage, the health of your marriage and your will power.
seems like it's "tempting fate" to me....

Well, if you don't want to test your resolve you could always refuse to make any friends. At this point perhaps the aggravation just isn't worth it anymore. I think that if a couple is truly happy they don't need friends anyway. They prefer each others company.

Totally disagree with that. Being happy with each other has nothing to do with having friends outside of the relationship.

Depends on the friends.

If a woman is always friends with lots of men obviously she doesn't get everything she needs from her husband or spouse. Their friends are just fillers for whatever the spouse may be lacking, be it conversation or mutual experiences. Men will settle for sex or an attractive wife, but women like the whole package.....much more than men. Perhaps this is because women are usually less superficial.

I know I'm exposing my bias a little.

 

[Alex.]

I have to admit that since I've been married I haven't had any close friends.

Oh, and I've never had a female friend that was attractive yet I had no attractions for her. Face up to your humanity. It's okay to be sexually attracted to someone and not act on it. Sometimes that makes the friendship better.

dunno... depends on your commitment to your marriage, the health of your marriage and your will power.
seems like it's "tempting fate" to me....

Well, if you don't want to test your resolve you could always refuse to make any friends. At this point perhaps the aggravation just isn't worth it anymore. I think that if a couple is truly happy they don't need friends anyway. They prefer each others company.

Totally disagree with that. Being happy with each other has nothing to do with having friends outside of the relationship.

Depends on the friends.

If a woman is always friends with lots of men obviously she doesn't get everything she needs from her husband or spouse. Their friends are just fillers for whatever the spouse may be lacking, be it conversation or mutual experiences. Men will settle for sex or an attractive wife, but women like the whole package.....much more than men. Perhaps this is because women are usually less superficial.

I know I'm exposing my bias a little.

Now that you have qualified your statements I agree somewhat. Being gregarious and friendly is an aspect of what a person may be. To squelch that because of a relationship or marriage is unhealthy and would lead to a great deal of discord. The freedom to be brings a person closer to the relationship in my experience.