Do/did you teach your kids how to be very good academically?

[usmbguest5318]

I was chatting with another member about schooling and I mentioned that I was a poor student in the beginning of my academic school career (5th grade). I was lucky enough to have a teacher, Miss Hall, who could tell that I wasn't stupid and who cared that I wasn't doing well. I don't know how she could tell, but thank goodness she could.

Miss Hall kept me after school one day and literally went through doing the homework with me for every subject. She showed me how to take notes from my reading for social studies and science class. She told me how to study for math and showed me how that was different from studying for what she called "reading classes." She told me if I got to a problem I didn't know how to do, it was okay if I had to flip back through the chapter to see how they did the same thing and then keep flipping back and forth little by little until I figured it out.

She told me that when I was reading stories for English, if something crossed my mind - maybe I didn't understand why a character did something or said something - I should write it down in my notebook and ask about it in class the next day. She told me also that every time I saw a word I didn't know that I should look it up in the dictionary and then write down the word at the back of my notebook along with the definition and a sentence of my own using the word. I was still a flippin' fool every time I had to do word problems, but eventually I figured out how to do the damn things.

She also taught me how to do speed math. I really liked that part because she told me it was "our secret." That was really cool. Of course, she'd told other kids too, but it was still cool because I could do simple math faster than my parents. I loved that.

Anyway, we sat there doing homework for three hours. That was in the fifth grade! She drove me home and had dinner with my family and told my parents what we'd done and asked them to do the same thing with me until I was doing it on my own and they could tell I knew what I was doing. It took a while, but as time went on, it took less and less time to do all my homework and I started getting good grades.

I know all that sounds obvious to you and me now. But when I was ten it was obvious and until I got good at studying, it seemed like a lot of work, especially when I Love Lucy, Batman, Star Trek, and playing with my friends were a lot more interesting to me. The thing is that what I needed to do to learn the material wasn't obvious to me at all.

Mom and Dad would tell me I had to study and I did what they told me. Or at least I called myself doing what I was supposed to be doing. I'd look at the books and not try to make sense of what I read, and I'd content myself with just not knowing how to do the math homework problems, and hope that whatever I did would be enough. Truth is it was rarely even barely enough. I no more knew what I was doing or what I should have been doing or how to do it than I knew how to fly to the moon.

That quarter that Miss Hall showed me how to study I didn't get great grades, but I got B-minuses and Cs, which was damn sight better than the Cs and Ds, I was gettin' before. The next quarter, I got straight As. You could have knocked me and my parents over with a feather. I still wasn't a well behaved student but I always got good grades and I actually learned stuff.

So I'm wondering do you people teach your kids how to study? Did someone teach you? Did you figure it out on your own?

 

[Moonglow]

Do/did you teach your kids how to be very good academically?

You are damn right I do..I was also treated in the same fashion when I was raised, although sports was also pushed as extra curricular activities...My Grandmother owned a bookstore and books are what I got as presents....
I pushed my kids to a higher degree of education at school and at home..Also did homeschooling, bought the kids the newest educational paraphernalia to enhance their development....

 

[baileyn45]

I was chatting with another member about schooling and I mentioned that I was a poor student in the beginning of my academic school career (5th grade). I was lucky enough to have a teacher, Miss Hall, who could tell that I wasn't stupid and who cared that I wasn't doing well. I don't know how she could tell, but thank goodness she could.

Miss Hall kept me after school one day and literally went through doing the homework with me for every subject. She showed me how to take notes from my reading for social studies and science class. She told me how to study for math and showed me how that was different from studying for what she called "reading classes." She told me if I got to a problem I didn't know how to do, it was okay if I had to flip back through the chapter to see how they did the same thing and then keep flipping back and forth little by little until I figured it out.

She told me that when I was reading stories for English, if something crossed my mind - maybe I didn't understand why a character did something or said something - I should write it down in my notebook and ask about it in class the next day. She told me also that every time I saw a word I didn't know that I should look it up in the dictionary and then write down the word at the back of my notebook along with the definition and a sentence of my own using the word. I was still a flippin' fool every time I had to do word problems, but eventually I figured out how to do the damn things.

She also taught me how to do speed math. I really liked that part because she told me it was "our secret." That was really cool. Of course, she'd told other kids too, but it was still cool because I could do simple math faster than my parents. I loved that.

Anyway, we sat there doing homework for three hours. That was in the fifth grade! She drove me home and had dinner with my family and told my parents what we'd done and asked them to do the same thing with me until I was doing it on my own and they could tell I knew what I was doing. It took a while, but as time went on, it took less and less time to do all my homework and I started getting good grades.

I know all that sounds obvious to you and me now. But when I was ten it was obvious and until I got good at studying, it seemed like a lot of work, especially when I Love Lucy, Batman, Star Trek, and playing with my friends were a lot more interesting to me. The thing is that what I needed to do to learn the material wasn't obvious to me at all.

Mom and Dad would tell me I had to study and I did what they told me. Or at least I called myself doing what I was supposed to be doing. I'd look at the books and not try to make sense of what I read, and I'd content myself with just not knowing how to do the math homework problems, and hope that whatever I did would be enough. Truth is it was rarely even barely enough. I no more knew what I was doing or what I should have been doing or how to do it than I knew how to fly to the moon.

That quarter that Miss Hall showed me how to study I didn't get great grades, but I got B-minuses and Cs, which was damn sight better than the Cs and Ds, I was gettin' before. The next quarter, I got straight As. You could have knocked me and my parents over with a feather. I still wasn't a well behaved student but I always got good grades and I actually learned stuff.

So I'm wondering do you people teach your kids how to study? Did someone teach you? Did you figure it out on your own?

Every single day. I or my wife would sit down with each of them after dinner to see what they were doing and how they were doing.

For my own upbringing I give the most credit to the Catholic school I attended Grades 1-8. They taught discipline(academic), perseverance and curiosity. When I got to a public high school I was light years ahead of my public school counterparts. Of course my parents were a big part as well if for nothing else just for the expectations placed on us. Good grades were the only option.

 

[usmbguest5318]

I was chatting with another member about schooling and I mentioned that I was a poor student in the beginning of my academic school career (5th grade). I was lucky enough to have a teacher, Miss Hall, who could tell that I wasn't stupid and who cared that I wasn't doing well. I don't know how she could tell, but thank goodness she could.

Miss Hall kept me after school one day and literally went through doing the homework with me for every subject. She showed me how to take notes from my reading for social studies and science class. She told me how to study for math and showed me how that was different from studying for what she called "reading classes." She told me if I got to a problem I didn't know how to do, it was okay if I had to flip back through the chapter to see how they did the same thing and then keep flipping back and forth little by little until I figured it out.

She told me that when I was reading stories for English, if something crossed my mind - maybe I didn't understand why a character did something or said something - I should write it down in my notebook and ask about it in class the next day. She told me also that every time I saw a word I didn't know that I should look it up in the dictionary and then write down the word at the back of my notebook along with the definition and a sentence of my own using the word. I was still a flippin' fool every time I had to do word problems, but eventually I figured out how to do the damn things.

She also taught me how to do speed math. I really liked that part because she told me it was "our secret." That was really cool. Of course, she'd told other kids too, but it was still cool because I could do simple math faster than my parents. I loved that.

Anyway, we sat there doing homework for three hours. That was in the fifth grade! She drove me home and had dinner with my family and told my parents what we'd done and asked them to do the same thing with me until I was doing it on my own and they could tell I knew what I was doing. It took a while, but as time went on, it took less and less time to do all my homework and I started getting good grades.

I know all that sounds obvious to you and me now. But when I was ten it was obvious and until I got good at studying, it seemed like a lot of work, especially when I Love Lucy, Batman, Star Trek, and playing with my friends were a lot more interesting to me. The thing is that what I needed to do to learn the material wasn't obvious to me at all.

Mom and Dad would tell me I had to study and I did what they told me. Or at least I called myself doing what I was supposed to be doing. I'd look at the books and not try to make sense of what I read, and I'd content myself with just not knowing how to do the math homework problems, and hope that whatever I did would be enough. Truth is it was rarely even barely enough. I no more knew what I was doing or what I should have been doing or how to do it than I knew how to fly to the moon.

That quarter that Miss Hall showed me how to study I didn't get great grades, but I got B-minuses and Cs, which was damn sight better than the Cs and Ds, I was gettin' before. The next quarter, I got straight As. You could have knocked me and my parents over with a feather. I still wasn't a well behaved student but I always got good grades and I actually learned stuff.

So I'm wondering do you people teach your kids how to study? Did someone teach you? Did you figure it out on your own?

Every single day. I or my wife would sit down with each of them after dinner to see what they were doing and how they were doing.

For my own upbringing I give the most credit to the Catholic school I attended Grades 1-8. They taught discipline(academic), perseverance and curiosity. When I got to a public high school I was light years ahead of my public school counterparts. Of course my parents were a big part as well if for nothing else just for the expectations placed on us. Good grades were the only option.

I'm partial to Episcopalian and Quaker schools, but I know Jesuit and Christian Brothers ones are every bit as good. I don't know much about the rest of them. I know they exist, but the Catholics have so many orders that, as a non-Catholic, I have no idea what charisms of each or many of them are.

I would say the same thing of my parents' expectations, but I know that getting Bs was good enough in their minds. My own kids knew I wouldn't punish them for Bs, but they also knew the expectation was straight As, which is pretty much what they earned, but they'd occasionally get a B in a class in a quarter, but they always ended their years with an A average in all their classes.

Personally, I think kids have an easier time of earning good grades these days. Back when I went through school, the lowest A was a 93. These days, 90 is an A. I didn't experience that until I went to college. Of course, if you go far enough in school, you get to the point were there are only two "grades," and they amount to "yes, you earned the degree" or "no, you did not earn the degree."

 

[baileyn45]

I was chatting with another member about schooling and I mentioned that I was a poor student in the beginning of my academic school career (5th grade). I was lucky enough to have a teacher, Miss Hall, who could tell that I wasn't stupid and who cared that I wasn't doing well. I don't know how she could tell, but thank goodness she could.

Miss Hall kept me after school one day and literally went through doing the homework with me for every subject. She showed me how to take notes from my reading for social studies and science class. She told me how to study for math and showed me how that was different from studying for what she called "reading classes." She told me if I got to a problem I didn't know how to do, it was okay if I had to flip back through the chapter to see how they did the same thing and then keep flipping back and forth little by little until I figured it out.

She told me that when I was reading stories for English, if something crossed my mind - maybe I didn't understand why a character did something or said something - I should write it down in my notebook and ask about it in class the next day. She told me also that every time I saw a word I didn't know that I should look it up in the dictionary and then write down the word at the back of my notebook along with the definition and a sentence of my own using the word. I was still a flippin' fool every time I had to do word problems, but eventually I figured out how to do the damn things.

She also taught me how to do speed math. I really liked that part because she told me it was "our secret." That was really cool. Of course, she'd told other kids too, but it was still cool because I could do simple math faster than my parents. I loved that.

Anyway, we sat there doing homework for three hours. That was in the fifth grade! She drove me home and had dinner with my family and told my parents what we'd done and asked them to do the same thing with me until I was doing it on my own and they could tell I knew what I was doing. It took a while, but as time went on, it took less and less time to do all my homework and I started getting good grades.

I know all that sounds obvious to you and me now. But when I was ten it was obvious and until I got good at studying, it seemed like a lot of work, especially when I Love Lucy, Batman, Star Trek, and playing with my friends were a lot more interesting to me. The thing is that what I needed to do to learn the material wasn't obvious to me at all.

Mom and Dad would tell me I had to study and I did what they told me. Or at least I called myself doing what I was supposed to be doing. I'd look at the books and not try to make sense of what I read, and I'd content myself with just not knowing how to do the math homework problems, and hope that whatever I did would be enough. Truth is it was rarely even barely enough. I no more knew what I was doing or what I should have been doing or how to do it than I knew how to fly to the moon.

That quarter that Miss Hall showed me how to study I didn't get great grades, but I got B-minuses and Cs, which was damn sight better than the Cs and Ds, I was gettin' before. The next quarter, I got straight As. You could have knocked me and my parents over with a feather. I still wasn't a well behaved student but I always got good grades and I actually learned stuff.

So I'm wondering do you people teach your kids how to study? Did someone teach you? Did you figure it out on your own?

Every single day. I or my wife would sit down with each of them after dinner to see what they were doing and how they were doing.

For my own upbringing I give the most credit to the Catholic school I attended Grades 1-8. They taught discipline(academic), perseverance and curiosity. When I got to a public high school I was light years ahead of my public school counterparts. Of course my parents were a big part as well if for nothing else just for the expectations placed on us. Good grades were the only option.

I'm partial to Episcopalian and Quaker schools, but I know Jesuit and Christian Brothers ones are every bit as good. I don't know much about the rest of them. I know they exist, but the Catholics have so many orders that, as a non-Catholic, I have no idea what charisms of each or many of them are.

I would say the same thing of my parents' expectations, but I know that getting Bs was good enough in their minds. My own kids knew I wouldn't punish them for Bs, but they also knew the expectation was straight As, which is pretty much what they earned, but they'd occasionally get a B in a class in a quarter, but they always ended their years with an A average in all their classes.

Personally, I think kids have an easier time of earning good grades these days. Back when I went through school, the lowest A was a 93. These days, 90 is an A. I didn't experience that until I went to college. Of course, if you go far enough in school, you get to the point were there are only two "grades," and they amount to "yes, you earned the degree" or "no, you did not earn the degree."

Strangely enough back in my day the Catholic school I attended really wasn't all that focused on religion. There was always a little but very little.

I've often thought that one of their biggest advantages was not having to put up with disruptive students, they'd just boot them.

They also weren't shy about segregating kids. They had 3 classes of each grade and each year they would shift kids around. By the time you got to the 8th grade they had all the best students in one class. People would freak about it today but it served it's purpose. The class with the best students was usually the biggest while the others usually had extra help in the form of student teachers. Today it would not be "pc" but it was very effective. For instance in my senior year at our local high school they had a competitive math test every year. Out of 900 students the top 6 and 14 of the top 20 were from my Catholic school. And the majority of kids from that Catholic school had gone on to Catholic high schools. There couldn't have been more than 40 of us in the high school.

I've always said that the Catholics didn't give me a better education they taught me how to learn.

 

[usmbguest5318]

Strangely enough back in my day the Catholic school I attended really wasn't all that focused on religion. There was always a little but very little.

That seems to be the consensus among the people I know who've sent their kids to Catholic schools. I think I recall one person mentioning that the Fathers of the Holy Cross (? I may have the name of the order wrong) are somewhat evangelical. Mostly, though, what I've been told is that they require religion class, but they don't require the students to actually believe Catholic dogma, which seems to only be taught for one year and a semester - a whole year of Catholic theology and a semester of Roman Catholic philosophy, which basically amounts to studying Anselm and Aquinas and the opposing arguments. The rest of it is comparative world religions and ethics.

I've often thought that one of their biggest advantages was not having to put up with disruptive students, they'd just boot them.

LOL Catholic schools aren't the only ones that do that. Disciplinary matters aren't the only things that'll get a student expelled. My own and my children's schools expel low performers and cheats (no matter their performance level) too.

By the time you got to the 8th grade they had all the best students in one class. People would freak about it today but it served it's purpose.

I remember the stratifying. Schools still do it.

The only purpose I can tell it serves is that it lets the teacher teach to a higher level of expectation, both in terms of pace and content mastery.

Out of 900 students the top 6 and 14 of the top 20

My school doesn't have class ranking beyond choosing a valedictorian. They disclosed GPAs to colleges. You kind of know where you stand, but you also know you aren't all that far ahead of or behind anyone else because everyone was really smart. Yes, Davis was really, really good at art. Chris could run circles around anyone in calculus. Kirby could practically teach physics. Park was the class clown and it was always fun to be in class with him. Jim could recite Chaucer like as deftly as I can say my name and he never agreed with the teacher's explanations for what some dead author meant. You knew those kinds of things, but every class had its standout student and everyone stood out at various times, and nobody did poorly, or even mediocre, but I don't think that had anything to do with he school's religious affiliation.

I've always said that the Catholics didn't give me a better education they taught me how to learn.

And with all that digression out of the way, you have fittingly brought us back to the point of the thread, which is whether people here teach their kids how to study, which about the same thing as learning how to learn. Given the scant few responses in this thread, I presume that either folks don't or folks aren't parents.

 

[MarathonMike]

My parents encouraged me to do well but they didn't help me with my homework. They rewarded good report cards, like 5 dollars for each A. Minus 5 dollars for Bs something like that.
As for my kids we put them in Charter schools since the public schools were too slow and the only option would have been skipping grades. They did well in accelerated programs but Charter schools are mixed bag to say the least. It worked out, they are both doing well in college.

 

[baileyn45]

Another aspect of this subject that a lot of people and even parents don't think about is how different children are, not only in aptitude but something as simple as confidence. My youngest, of three, struggled a little bit in the 3rd or 4th grade and her teacher made the comment that she seemed unsure of herself.

After spending some time thinking about it and spending time with my daughter we realized that part of the problem was she was trying to live up to her older siblings who both did well in school. It wasn't much of a problem to overcome but had we not realized it could have been.

 

[Cecilie1200]

I have homeschooled all three of my kids (I am currently still homeschooling the last one), and I do teach the basics of studying, such as taking notes, making outlines, etc., a lot of it - with my boys, at least - is simply encouraging their natural enthusiasm for research and finding as much information as they can on whatever subject they're interested in. My daughter had to be dragged kicking and screaming to learning anything, but the boys LOVE being know-it-alls.

One of the nice things about homeschooling is that I can tailor the curriculum to their interests, rather than having to try to force them to shift their interest to whatever I'm determined to teach at the moment. For example, right now my 8-year-old is utterly fixated on astronomy. So not only is his science work all about that, but his English and reading studies involve books about astronomy and astronomical vocabulary words, his math includes essay questions about figuring distances between heavenly bodies, comparative sizes of planets, whatever I can apply to the subject, and so on. We're trying to plan a field trip to the Flandrau Planetarium for other homeschoolers in the area (because you get marked discounts for groups), and from what I've read about their other exhibits, I think there's a good chance that this will lead into a new interest in geology and Earth science.

 

[strollingbones]

reading.....that is what we focused on...read as much as you can...we started with comic books and playing an old king's quest where you had to spell the words correctly in commands to advance the game...if you can read you can figure a lot of stuff out

 

[mgh80]

The best things parents can do are very simple:

Teach your kid how to read and encourage it. If your kid has strong teasing comprehension skills they will be able to lewrm everything else much easier and faster and. It's importantly, more efficiently.

Make sure your kid gets to school. There's a correlation between test scores and attendance.

 

[Jackson]

Yes, I taught my son how to study, make outlines and everything I could to make sure he excelled in school. After a terrible experience in first grade, he was accepted to a very good Lutheran school who standards were exemplary. He continued to excel and did very well in school.


My personal experience was fine, but I was never expected to excel. Never recalled a comment about my grade card. I could have done better, but no one cared. So, I did my homework on the bus to school, got a D one quarter in Latin II and was mortified that I did that poorly. But I didn't work that hard and it made college difficult for me at first. I didn't know how to study and made sure he would not meet that end. Thankfully, school became easy for him.

 

[westwall]

I was chatting with another member about schooling and I mentioned that I was a poor student in the beginning of my academic school career (5th grade). I was lucky enough to have a teacher, Miss Hall, who could tell that I wasn't stupid and who cared that I wasn't doing well. I don't know how she could tell, but thank goodness she could.

Miss Hall kept me after school one day and literally went through doing the homework with me for every subject. She showed me how to take notes from my reading for social studies and science class. She told me how to study for math and showed me how that was different from studying for what she called "reading classes." She told me if I got to a problem I didn't know how to do, it was okay if I had to flip back through the chapter to see how they did the same thing and then keep flipping back and forth little by little until I figured it out.

She told me that when I was reading stories for English, if something crossed my mind - maybe I didn't understand why a character did something or said something - I should write it down in my notebook and ask about it in class the next day. She told me also that every time I saw a word I didn't know that I should look it up in the dictionary and then write down the word at the back of my notebook along with the definition and a sentence of my own using the word. I was still a flippin' fool every time I had to do word problems, but eventually I figured out how to do the damn things.

She also taught me how to do speed math. I really liked that part because she told me it was "our secret." That was really cool. Of course, she'd told other kids too, but it was still cool because I could do simple math faster than my parents. I loved that.

Anyway, we sat there doing homework for three hours. That was in the fifth grade! She drove me home and had dinner with my family and told my parents what we'd done and asked them to do the same thing with me until I was doing it on my own and they could tell I knew what I was doing. It took a while, but as time went on, it took less and less time to do all my homework and I started getting good grades.

I know all that sounds obvious to you and me now. But when I was ten it was obvious and until I got good at studying, it seemed like a lot of work, especially when I Love Lucy, Batman, Star Trek, and playing with my friends were a lot more interesting to me. The thing is that what I needed to do to learn the material wasn't obvious to me at all.

Mom and Dad would tell me I had to study and I did what they told me. Or at least I called myself doing what I was supposed to be doing. I'd look at the books and not try to make sense of what I read, and I'd content myself with just not knowing how to do the math homework problems, and hope that whatever I did would be enough. Truth is it was rarely even barely enough. I no more knew what I was doing or what I should have been doing or how to do it than I knew how to fly to the moon.

That quarter that Miss Hall showed me how to study I didn't get great grades, but I got B-minuses and Cs, which was damn sight better than the Cs and Ds, I was gettin' before. The next quarter, I got straight As. You could have knocked me and my parents over with a feather. I still wasn't a well behaved student but I always got good grades and I actually learned stuff.

So I'm wondering do you people teach your kids how to study? Did someone teach you? Did you figure it out on your own?

Yes. Both my wife and I are very demanding when it comes to academics. We both have PhD's and while we won't push our daughter to go that route, we do insist that she be well versed in every subject she is taking.

 

[Unkotare]

The best things parents can do are very simple:

Teach your kid how to read and encourage it. If your kid has strong teasing comprehension skills they will be able to lewrm everything else much easier and faster and. It's importantly, more efficiently. [sic]

....

It's true, you have to comprehend teasing if you hope to lewrm.

 

[Dogmaphobe]

I didn't have to really teach either of my sons per se. They were both straight A students because they are very intelligent and come from a family with educated parents.

 

[DGS49]

I encouraged my son to do well in school, but didn't actively do much. Assistance with homework was mainly done by my wife.

My son followed my path and didn't really care about academics until college, where he did fine - and got a Masters on his own.

When I was growing up I was the fourth of four boys (sister doesn't count), three of whom were academic fuck-ups. Two were simply average or below in intelligence and the "middle son" was intelligent, but was a behavior problem.

So by the time I came through, getting A's and B's with no disciplinary issues, my parents were more than satisfied, although I was putting forth minimal effort.

I wish I knew how to motivate kids academically. Having known and worked with hundreds of parents, I don't see much of a pattern, except that teachers' kids seem to do uniformly well. I have known idiots whose kids all excelled, and geniuses whose kids were total fuckups.

 

[mgh80]

The best things parents can do are very simple:

Teach your kid how to read and encourage it. If your kid has strong teasing comprehension skills they will be able to lewrm everything else much easier and faster and. It's importantly, more efficiently. [sic]

....

It's true, you have to comprehend teasing if you hope to lewrm.

That's it I'm done posting on an iphone

 

[Tresha91203]

Yes, my mom taught me to read and study. She was no help in math, though. She made sure we did homework, was in contact with our teachers ... all that.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Yes, my mom taught me to read and study. She was no help in math, though. She made sure we did homework, was in contact with our teachers ... all that.

Subjects that are not my strong suit are why I have my husband, my older son, and various over-educated friends. Whatever the topic, I have SOMEONE I can refer the kid to for better information. The Internet, obviously, is a godsend in this area.

 

[Cecilie1200]

I was actually commenting the other day that there's nothing like educating a young child who's learned the word, "Why?" to make YOU better educated and informed about everything. My youngest has entered a phase where he's intensely curious about religious beliefs and how they relate to other things - mostly science - and having to explain Christianity in a way that an 8-year-old can understand has required a lot of thought and exploration on my part.

Science, of course, always requires research on my part, because it is NOT my forte at all.