Deadbeat Parents

[JOKER96BRAVO]

Edited

 

[Hagbard Celine]

That's exactly right. I'd support legilsation which makes women accountable for how they spend "child support".

Ask the custodial parent to list expenses, and place all remaining funds into a college-tuition account for the kids.

I'd support legislation like that too.

And that's exactly what my dad does with the child support my mom pays him for my bro and sis. It's a great idea if you ask me.

 

[dmp]

OK... what accounts for child support?

Housing?

Food?

School supplies?

Clothes?

Car payments? Gasoline?

Ballet lessons? Piano? T-ball?

Lots and lots of questions there - not as cut-and-dry as one would think.

The difference between a 1 bedroom place and a 3 bedroom place.
The difference in amount of food consumed
The difference in utilities
Car? Non-issue.

Other costs can be split, IF both parents agree to those activities. Somebody smarter than me can figure out the what-ifs to my proposal.

 

[insein]

Unfortunately, deadbeat dads get more press than deadbeat moms, because the typical feel-good story you always see is all about the Empowered Single Mother who Works so Hard to Raise her Kid in this Crazy World. Now, don't get me wrong, there are many women like this - I should know, I married one! But there are plenty of moms on welfare that have more kids for the sole purpose of getting more welfare checks. There are also mothers who just choose to walk away from their kids. I have a stepcousin who did this. It was really sad to see.

I also think part of the "deadbeat dad" story that no one wants to touch is that, in many states (including WA), the child support scheduling is always biased against the father. Two kids could cost a single father upwards of $1000/month. That's a lot of cash, and if you fall behind on your payments, you're a deadbeat! I think the larger issues are 1) the bias against men in today's society, and 2) the ever-decreasing role of the traditional nuclear family.

What pisses me off about that is that women are gentically dispositioned to be better at child care then men. It is alot harder for a single man raising kids then it is for a woman. Sure its hard for the woman to get a job and keep it but when it comes to the running of a home, woman are genetically better at it.

Thhe whole issue is such a bullshit fiasco. If the ACLU were ever the "Great Crusader for Human rights" that they proclaim to be, then this would be their #1 priority in this country. Everday millions of men are legally exhorted into giving away their money to a woman holding a grudge. Just the fact that if a guy doesnt pay child support he goes to jail in some states sums up the ridiculousness of the whole thing.

 

[Trigg]

I know many fathers who want their children and can't get them, for no good
reason. A mother with no job and no career training has a better chance of
being "awarded" custody than a hard working middle class dad.

This is so true and unfortunatally its happening in my own family.

My brother in law has his kids EVERY weekend and every other chance he gets, even if it's just a few extra days over a long weekend. His ex is only two happy to drop off the kids durring the entire springbreak so she and the new hubby can go on vacation. It sick how much she takes advantage of the situation, his support pymts are outragious considering how much he has the kids.

 

[JOKER96BRAVO]

Edited

 

[Trigg]

If they live somewhat close, he can file for joint custody.
That's the best bet!

She's the custodial parent and so she gets the support. They did live close until she got remarried and moved 2 hours away.

It's a shame. He's dedicated to those kids.

 

[dmp]

She's the custodial parent and so she gets the support. They did live close until she got remarried and moved 2 hours away.

It's a shame. He's dedicated to those kids.

Ya know? Having the kids every-weekend is not something the mother would concede - MOST mothers would find that PERFECT. Durring the week, they wake the kids, get them to skewl, feed them dinner at night. EVERY weekend is theirs to enjoy w/ their new partner. For her, it's PERFECT. She gets, often, Thousands of dollars to let kids sleep there, and eat a few meals a day.



Father can't date or do ANYTHING during the week because he may be working two jobs to support oppressive child-support payments. Weekends are always with the kids, so no social life.

I tell ya - If the ACLU had balls, they'd find a way to ensure a father's right to fair treatment by family courts.

 

[Trigg]

Ya know? Having the kids every-weekend is not something the mother would concede - MOST mothers would find that PERFECT. Durring the week, they wake the kids, get them to skewl, feed them dinner at night. EVERY weekend is theirs to enjoy w/ their new partner. For her, it's PERFECT. She gets, often, Thousands of dollars to let kids sleep there, and eat a few meals a day.



Father can't date or do ANYTHING during the week because he may be working two jobs to support oppressive child-support payments. Weekends are always with the kids, so no social life.

I tell ya - If the ACLU had balls, they'd find a way to ensure a father's right to fair treatment by family courts.

oh ya, it's awful the way she takes advantage of him wanting to see his kids. He doesn't want to go back to "standard visitation" so he never stands up to her on anything. My husband and I keep telling him that she won't do that since she's got the perfect situation right now with him having the kids every weekend. and your right it's impossible for him to have a social life of his own.

The courts right now are very biased towards fathers, but maybe that will change in the future.

 

[Nienna]

Good Lord, what a mess. It makes me sick to even think of having to go through any of that.

 

[GotZoom]

If they live somewhat close, he can file for joint custody.
That's the best bet!

Even having joint custody doesn't lessen the child support responsibility.

I have joint custody of our kids..but with her being the custodial (where the kids live) parent, I pay her.

 

[dmp]

Even having joint custody doesn't lessen the child support responsibility.

I have joint custody of our kids..but with her being the custodial (where the kids live) parent, I pay her.

Right - that is SO jacked up. I'm getting angry just thinking about it.

:-/

 

[Annie]

She's the custodial parent and so she gets the support. They did live close until she got remarried and moved 2 hours away.

It's a shame. He's dedicated to those kids.

I think the two worst decisions made regarding children were the enactment of 'no fault divorce' and 'joint custody.' Seems to me if a divorce is 'no fault', the state shouldn't be granting it.

For the same reason, 'joint custody' is a farce. If the parents can get along well enough to 'raise the children' they should be in marriage counseling rather than 'no fault divorce court.'

Divorce is something that should be entered into with much trepidation, for the costs are great to the children, society, and the 'couple.' It should be something that is so bad, that only for the safety and well being of the 'non-offfending' spouse and children, (notice not 'or'), should it be granted. Yes there are marriages that meet that type of criteria, but much fewer than the divorce rate would accomodate.

 

[Nienna]

I think the two worst decisions made regarding children were the enactment of 'no fault divorce' and 'joint custody.' Seems to me if a divorce is 'no fault', the state shouldn't be granting it.

For the same reason, 'joint custody' is a farce. If the parents can get along well enough to 'raise the children' they should be in marriage counseling rather than 'no fault divorce court.'

Divorce is something that should be entered into with much trepidation, for the costs are great to the children, society, and the 'couple.' It should be something that is so bad, that only for the safety and well being of the 'non-offfending' spouse and children, (notice not 'or'), should it be granted. Yes there are marriages that meet that type of criteria, but much fewer than the divorce rate would accomodate.

Tried to rep you. Good points.

 

[dilloduck]

I BELIEVE (although I don't have any statistics) that it's more often the women who are "stuck" with the kids.

I'm glad you put quotes around "stuck" because any mother who feels stuck with her kids shouldn't have had any in the first place.

 

[Nienna]

I'm glad you put quotes around "stuck" because any mother who feels stuck with her kids shouldn't have had any in the first place.

True.

 

[5stringJeff]

I think the two worst decisions made regarding children were the enactment of 'no fault divorce' and 'joint custody.' Seems to me if a divorce is 'no fault', the state shouldn't be granting it.

 

[dilloduck]

And just when did government get in the business of deciding which parent would be better for the child and what exactly is in the "childs' best interest".

Some cases may be obvious but in others they have no clue and don't even bother to investigate the big picture. "Joint custody" is just a euphemism to soak money out of either parent and in no way aimed at both parents having equal access to the child or equal power in decision making for the child.

 

[5stringJeff]

And just when did government get in the business of deciding which parent would be better for the child and what exactly is in the "childs' best interest".

When it instituted no-fault divorce.

 

[Trigg]

I think the two worst decisions made regarding children were the enactment of 'no fault divorce' and 'joint custody.' Seems to me if a divorce is 'no fault', the state shouldn't be granting it.

For the same reason, 'joint custody' is a farce. If the parents can get along well enough to 'raise the children' they should be in marriage counseling rather than 'no fault divorce court.'

Divorce is something that should be entered into with much trepidation, for the costs are great to the children, society, and the 'couple.' It should be something that is so bad, that only for the safety and well being of the 'non-offfending' spouse and children, (notice not 'or'), should it be granted. Yes there are marriages that meet that type of criteria, but much fewer than the divorce rate would accomodate.

IMO most people just arent serious about their marriage vows anymore. They go into it without realizing how hard a marriage can be to keep together sometimes. The going gets tough and they just pack their bags and leave.

Their's no stigma to divorce now, just oh well I'm on my 3rd marriage wonder why I can't find someone normal.

Man, I never want to be out dating again. I've heard about some on the weirdoes out there from my single friends.