Choosing A Wife

[NOBama]

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing
among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was
impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that,
you know.

 

[Amanda]

Sounds about right.

 

[alan1]

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing
among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was
impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that,
you know.

If one of the women could have figured that out, she'd have bought breast enhancement.

 

[Andrew2382]

The CIA is looking for their new top killer.

They have it down to 3 people, 2 women and 1 man.

The top guys are sitting around a table and they are saying to them selves " my god, all 3 of these canidates are qualified...how will we choose?"

Then someone has an idea, they put all 3 people in a room and the head of the CIA walks in.

He tells them "Ok, you are all very well qualified and there is only one way we can choose who we want to be our #1 Assassin."

he walks to the first woman, tells her

You want to be our top assassin

Yes she replies

Here is a gun he says, your husband is in the other room...shoot him in the head.

She instantly says "no way, I am not doing that"

The head of the CIA says "no problem have a nice day"

He goes to the next woman

You want to be our top assassin?
Yes she says

Here is a gun, your husband is in the other room...kill him

She takes the gun, gets up slowly opens the door and shuts it crying..I CANT DO IT, I CANT DO IT.

No problem have anice day the CIA chief says

He walks to the man, asks the same thing

You want to be our top assassin?

Yes he says

Here is a gun, your wife is in the next room...shoot her in the head.

He takes the gun, stands up slowly and walks into the room and shuts the door behind him


10 seconds of silence and then you hear the woman scream

TOM WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

You can hear furniture breaking and screaming.

The man walks out a minute later panting and sweating and says

WHAT THE FUCK...THERE WERE NO BULLETS IN THAT GUN. I HAD TO BEAT HER TO DEATH WITH THE CHAIR

 

[Dis]

If one of the women could have figured that out, she'd have bought breast enhancement.

Pfft. Men can't comprehend anything more meaningful than sex and food.

Not necessarily always in that order...but mostly.

 

[indago]

Pfft. Men can't comprehend anything more meaningful than sex and food.

Not necessarily always in that order...but mostly.

Well, there's the old saying:

Men are into Huntn'nFukn

They're either Fukn, or Huntn sumpn to Fuk...

 

[alan1]

Pfft. Men can't comprehend anything more meaningful than sex and food.

Not necessarily always in that order...but mostly.

I'm sure all the male Supreme Court Justice's base there decisions on sex and food.

 

[xsited1]

 

[NOBama]

Pfft. Men can't comprehend anything more meaningful than sex and food.

Not necessarily always in that order...but mostly.

Oh no, I've been under the impression for over 50 years that sex IS food. I'm crushed.

 

[Red Dawn]

I love the boobies, but marrying a woman based on that? That's just stupid and shallow.


I have a much more sophisticated view of choosing female partners. I need them to be nymphomaniacs.







(totally kidding)

 

[PoliticalChic]

Pfft. Men can't comprehend anything more meaningful than sex and food.

Not necessarily always in that order...but mostly.

My husband doesn't even need the food.

 

[alan1]

B(_)(_)bbies

 

[Dis]

My husband doesn't even need the food.

Give it a week, and he's likely consider it a tough call.

 

[PoliticalChic]

Give it a week, and he's likely consider it a tough call.

LOL! I'm serious. He always tells me I spend too much time in the kitchen. He's such a neanderthal. He just wants hamburgers. Figures, right? All we need is an open fire for that!

 

[indago]

LOL! I'm serious. He always tells me I spend too much time in the kitchen. He's such a neanderthal. He just wants hamburgers. Figures, right? All we need is an open fire for that!

The hamburger is an American staple. I was watching a program on the food network yesterday. They visited several places around the country, and in Britain, famous for their "hamburger". Some were mooseburger, ostrichburger, kangarooburger, veggieburger, etc. They showed how the burgers were made in different ways. Very interesting. Some had their own special dressing that they added besides the lettuce and tomatos and stuff that made the burger a specialty.

Mmmm.. Yummo!


-

 

[editec]

If all men wanted from woman was sex, why would any of us marry?

 

[PoliticalChic]

If all men wanted from woman was sex, why would any of us marry?

Speak for yourself. My husband is self-sufficient except in one area. He cooks his own meals, does his own laundry. He doesn't even leave his dirty socks on the floor. I guess he wants me to save my energy...

 

[Cecilie1200]

If all men wanted from woman was sex, why would any of us marry?

Because there are still a lot of women smart enough to not give up the sex until they get the marriage, that's why.

 

[PoliticalChic]

Because there are still a lot of women smart enough to not give up the sex until they get the marriage, that's why.

Those women come few and far between. Perhaps one day it will be cool to be a virgin.

 

[Andrew2382]

Because there are still a lot of women smart enough to not give up the sex until they get the marriage, that's why.

you are delusional