- Sep 22, 2013
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This is a capitalism yarn inspired by the film Ruthless People.
Signing off,
====
Aquaman wanted to appreciate the layers of complexity associated with modern civilization (e.g., Wall Street, World Bank). He began swimming in the waters of the Pacific (right under the Salk Institute for Biological Studies and the Scripps Institute for Oceanography) so he could use telekinesis to sense the thoughts and behaviors of the scientists above the water. Aquaman learned that an eccentric scientist at Scripps was investigating the existence of a strange giant female mermaid who was some kind of relic of evolutionary adaptation regarding the geometric elegance of structural harmony. Aquaman started believing this hypothetical 'beautiful giant female mermaid' was somehow...real.
Aquaman swam and swam and swam and swam (all over the Earth), sometimes going deep into the abyss of the ocean, in search of this proposed giant female mermaid. Finally, he caught a glimpse of a large and very alluring (and somewhat glowing!) female-mermaid figurine in the waters off the coast of Japan. Aquaman approached her and asked her who she was, and the giant female mermaid told Aquaman she was given the name 'Joy.' Aquaman asked her why she thought she would be given such a 'symbolic' name such as Joy (since she was so alluring!), and Joy explained she was a 'metaphysical guardian' of the splendor of evolution and life itself. Joy also told Aquaman she was a 'muse' of capitalism and protected Earth from the clutches of a giant anti-capitalism fascist multi-headed dragon (or leviathan!) named 'Hydra.'
Aquaman left Joy and went hunting for Hydra. Aquaman swam and swam and swam until he finally caught sight of the giant unsightly multi-headed dragon-like sea beast (Hydra) in the waters off the coast of New Zealand. Hydra explained to Aquaman that he was banished to the coast of New Zealand by Joy the female-mermaid and was not allowed to approach the 'friendly' waters of the Atlantic/Pacific by the shores of America! Aquaman realized Hydra was a real threat to the sanctity and sanity of capitalism in the modern world and wanted to engage Hydra in a special debate about the metaphysical value of capitalism-theory and the magical-spiritual role the guardian Joy played in the defense of capitalism (and democracy!) in the modern world. Hydra agreed to debate with Aquaman but made him promise he would never pursue Joy again. Aquaman conceded to the deal.
AQUAMAN: Why do you have so many heads?
HYDRA: Each head is a blasphemy against America!
AQUAMAN: Why do you despise American society?
HYDRA: Capitalism if a doomed system, riddled by avarice.
AQUAMAN: Does each of your heads represent a 'vice' of capitalism.
HYDRA: Yes! Each head signifies a dread of competitive economics.
AQUAMAN: Do the heads ever agree with each other?
HYDRA: Not really; each head offers its own fiery poison.
AQUAMAN: Are you a 'Devil's Advocate'?
HYDRA: My message is one of avarice.
AQUAMAN: How did Joy chase you away?
HYDRA: She reminded me of the 'fun' of competitive games...
AQUAMAN: She humbled you with the thought of teamwork then?
HYDRA: Precisely; but I remain a 'messenger' of schizophrenia.
AQUAMAN: If capitalism is schizophrenic, what is the value of Las Vegas?
HYDRA: Gambling is like psychiatry...
AQUAMAN: Then I will part from you and continue to defend patriotism.
HYDRA: Farewell!
====
Signing off,
====
Aquaman wanted to appreciate the layers of complexity associated with modern civilization (e.g., Wall Street, World Bank). He began swimming in the waters of the Pacific (right under the Salk Institute for Biological Studies and the Scripps Institute for Oceanography) so he could use telekinesis to sense the thoughts and behaviors of the scientists above the water. Aquaman learned that an eccentric scientist at Scripps was investigating the existence of a strange giant female mermaid who was some kind of relic of evolutionary adaptation regarding the geometric elegance of structural harmony. Aquaman started believing this hypothetical 'beautiful giant female mermaid' was somehow...real.
Aquaman swam and swam and swam and swam (all over the Earth), sometimes going deep into the abyss of the ocean, in search of this proposed giant female mermaid. Finally, he caught a glimpse of a large and very alluring (and somewhat glowing!) female-mermaid figurine in the waters off the coast of Japan. Aquaman approached her and asked her who she was, and the giant female mermaid told Aquaman she was given the name 'Joy.' Aquaman asked her why she thought she would be given such a 'symbolic' name such as Joy (since she was so alluring!), and Joy explained she was a 'metaphysical guardian' of the splendor of evolution and life itself. Joy also told Aquaman she was a 'muse' of capitalism and protected Earth from the clutches of a giant anti-capitalism fascist multi-headed dragon (or leviathan!) named 'Hydra.'
Aquaman left Joy and went hunting for Hydra. Aquaman swam and swam and swam until he finally caught sight of the giant unsightly multi-headed dragon-like sea beast (Hydra) in the waters off the coast of New Zealand. Hydra explained to Aquaman that he was banished to the coast of New Zealand by Joy the female-mermaid and was not allowed to approach the 'friendly' waters of the Atlantic/Pacific by the shores of America! Aquaman realized Hydra was a real threat to the sanctity and sanity of capitalism in the modern world and wanted to engage Hydra in a special debate about the metaphysical value of capitalism-theory and the magical-spiritual role the guardian Joy played in the defense of capitalism (and democracy!) in the modern world. Hydra agreed to debate with Aquaman but made him promise he would never pursue Joy again. Aquaman conceded to the deal.
AQUAMAN: Why do you have so many heads?
HYDRA: Each head is a blasphemy against America!
AQUAMAN: Why do you despise American society?
HYDRA: Capitalism if a doomed system, riddled by avarice.
AQUAMAN: Does each of your heads represent a 'vice' of capitalism.
HYDRA: Yes! Each head signifies a dread of competitive economics.
AQUAMAN: Do the heads ever agree with each other?
HYDRA: Not really; each head offers its own fiery poison.
AQUAMAN: Are you a 'Devil's Advocate'?
HYDRA: My message is one of avarice.
AQUAMAN: How did Joy chase you away?
HYDRA: She reminded me of the 'fun' of competitive games...
AQUAMAN: She humbled you with the thought of teamwork then?
HYDRA: Precisely; but I remain a 'messenger' of schizophrenia.
AQUAMAN: If capitalism is schizophrenic, what is the value of Las Vegas?
HYDRA: Gambling is like psychiatry...
AQUAMAN: Then I will part from you and continue to defend patriotism.
HYDRA: Farewell!
====
