Canadians in hell

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Said1, Feb 11, 2005.

  1. Said1
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    Said1 VIP Member

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    CANADIANS IN HELL

    Two guys from Toronto die and wake up in hell.

    The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"

    The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."

    The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat.

    The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, toques and mittens. The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel it?"

    Again the two guys reply, "Well, like we told ya yesterday, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."

    This gets the devil a little steamed up and he decides to fix these two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Canada and finds them in light jackets and bucket hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer.

    The devil is astonished, "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves."

    The two Canadians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Toronto so we've just got to have a cook-out when the weather's THIS nice."

    The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell.

    The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere; people are shivering so bad that they are unable to do anything but wail, moan and gnash their teeth.

    The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Canadians.

    He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, toques, and mittens. NOW they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men!!!

    The devil is dumbfounded, "I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two???"

    The Torontonians look at the devil in surprise, "Well, don't you know? If Hell freezes over, it must mean the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup."
     
  2. Said1
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    And this one........

    Every nation in attendance at an international symposium on elephants had to deliver a report on the animals.

    France's report: "The Love Life of an Elephant."

    America saw the economic values in: "Raising Elephants for Fun and Profit."

    Great Britain had their own unique view: "The Elephant and the British Empire."

    The Canadian report was, of course, typically Canadian... "The Elephant: A Federal or Provincial Responsibility?"
     
  3. Said1
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    Said1 VIP Member

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    This too........

    You Know You're Canadian When:
    You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

    You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

    Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.

    The local paper covers national and international headlines on two pages, but requires six pages for hockey.

    The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.

    You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars, and drink pop, not soda.

    You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing u's from labor, honor, and color.

    You know how to say free, prize and no sugar added in French thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.

    You know what a toque is.

    You've plugged a car in overnight.

    You've defended your property from trespassers with a lacrosse stick because you don't own a gun.
     
  4. Johnney
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    Johnney Senior Member

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    now this sounds like iowa!!!
     
  5. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    Oh how I miss those slushy, muddy, forget about washing your car,and STILL cold Minnesota springtimes !
    NOT
     

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