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"Feelings Now Acceptable As Answers To Math Problems
WASHINGTON, D.C.—An update issued Tuesday to the 2017–2018 Common Core educational standards now allows students to answer mathematics problems by responding with whatever their feelings are telling them at the time.
One example problem given to illustrate the updated standards asked students to figure out when a 6:00 a.m. train leaving Boston at thirty miles per hour and a 7:00 a.m. Milwaukee train headed the opposite direction at forty miles per hour will intersect. A list of possible solutions to the sample problem published in the Common Core standards obtained by reporters indicated that “Ugh,” “I’m offended,” “Triggered,” “Trains scare me,” “Boston scares me,” “Milwaukee scares me,” and “Kill yourself,” would all be scored as correct.
“Any emotion, feeling, statement, or catchphrase is an acceptable answer to most of the problems in the new mathematics standards,” a Common Core representative told reporters. “As long as students are being sincere, genuine, authentic, and true to themselves at the time they are answering the question, that’s all we can ask as educators.”
“Who are we to tell anyone that their own mathematical truth is wrong?” the rep added.
According to the rep, the Common Core standards will be updated next year to include feelings as acceptable responses to any and all questions pertaining to biology, chemistry, grammar, and history, while sources claim that English literature teachers have already been accepting emotions as responses for years."
Feelings Now Acceptable As Answers To Math Problems
This is false. The site you are referencing is a satirical news site. See for example the footer: "The Babylon Bee is Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire." You might also find your suspicions aroused by other headlines on this site like Hugh Jackman To Host All Future Senate Hearings In Character As P.T. Barnum. Wikipedia describes the site as "famous for over-the-top satirical stories focusing on well known pastors, celebrities, and politicians."
The actual common core standards for math can be downloaded here. The word "feelings" does not appear in the text.
Here's another version.....
...the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s.
1. Teaching Math In 1950
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
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2. Teaching Math In 1960
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
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3. Teaching Math In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?
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4. Teaching Math In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
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5. Teaching Math In 1990
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers.)
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6. Teaching Math In 2009
Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho.
Did you get the joke, the point, this time????????