An Irish daughter had not been to the house for over 5 years. Upon her >return, her father cussed her; " Where have you been all this time, you >ingrate! Why didn't you write us, not even a line to let us know how you >were doing? Why didn't you call? You little tramp! Don't you know what >you put your Mum through??!!" > >The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a >prostitute..." > >"WHAT!!? Out of here, you shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to >this family - I don't ever want to see you again!" > >"OK, Dad - as you wish. I just came back to give Mom this luxury fur coat, >title deeds to a ten bed-roomed mansion, plus a savings account certificate >for 5 million. For my little brother, this gold Rolex, and for you Daddy >the spanking new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked >outside plus a lifetime membership to the Country Club...(takes a >breath)...an invitation for you all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new >yacht in the Riviera, and...." > >"Now what was it you said you had become? > >" Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff... A prostitute Dad! ... Sniff, sniff" > >"Oh! Saints Alive! - You scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said >"a Protestant". Come here and give your old man a hug!"