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You offend me!

justoffal

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You offend me. That's right....I am offended by you! Because I have had the sore misfortune of living across the street from you I have to get up every morning, open my front door and look at your house. It bothers me man! That color! Who the hell gave you permission to use the same color that was on my daddy's coffin cover the day he died huh assxhole? Just answer me that you piece of shixt! Where I come from those are fightin' words! Even if there are no words spoken...it's just understood...so I'm putting you on notice....that color has to go!

Do you realize the pain and anguish that you are putting me through day in and day out? Don't you care at all? Obviously not! I'm telling you man this has got to stop and I'm just the person to stop it bro!

Annnnnd while we're on the subject what's up with that Flag in your front yard? I didn't come here to be offended by the symbol of something I hate! I don't care if your family has been here for three hundred years this country is about newcomers not the old farts that have been here too long as far as I'm concerned. NEW BLOOD IS IN OLD BLOOD IS OUT ..get it? Got it?? We'll I'm damn sure gonna make sure you get it.....understand me assxhole?

Oh yeah...you know I am so tired of the December Holiday bullshit you put me through every twelve months too! You know I'm just getting more and more angry as I think about all the ways you put upon me! That wreath! I could just scream! How the hell am I supposed to bow down to the east three times a day knowing that that thing is there! You are interfering with my worship and I am not going to tolerate it! This is my street and there isn't enough room on it for both of us so I have come to the conclusion that you are leaving...even if you don't know it yet.

Your freedom of expression is impinging upon my sensitivities and I have a right to fix that you clueless, calloused, sacrilegious fool! Your laughter is sinful, your clothing is immoral, your beliefs are condemnable, your habits are irresponsible, your happiness is infuriating, your freedom is wrong!

Time to take you out. After that I have a score to settle with the local supermarket that sells Kosher products too!

JO
 

Dogmaphobe

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Have you considered switching to decaf?
 

Moonglow

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This guy is one of the main reasons I moved out of the suburbs and moved to the country...
 

Shipwreck

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(Soaking bread in anti-freeze to poison your dog)
 

Roadrunner

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This guy is one of the main reasons I moved out of the suburbs and moved to the country...
I think I have a neighbour coming before too long.

Twenty acres across the street sold last year, and I have seen a truck or two over there.

Going to build a house in the 'burbs with my GF, and lease 500 acres for deer and solitude.

Get that age where living near a hospital ain't such a bad idea.
 

Shipwreck

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This is why I live in a basement.
 

bucs90

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And you offend me for being offended!!
 

Roadrunner

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I am offended you thought I was offended that you were offensive enough to offend me!!

Bro....JO is an old BBer....goes back to 2002....good satire....signs his work like SB did.
I missed the Glory Days, caught the tail end.

Do vaguely remember JO.

Vaguely remember yesterday, and, am vaguely aware there should be a tomorrow.

I am an "in the present minute" kind of guy.
 

deltex1

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Stay near a gym...hospitals suck.
 

Roadrunner

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I am offended you thought I was offended that you were offensive enough to offend me!!

Bro....JO is an old BBer....goes back to 2002....good satire....signs his work like SB did.
Lots of other folks we "know" popping up, and more lurking.

I am ready for warmer weather and less time here.

I have to have 300 watermelon plants ready for early April.

I will be busy soon.

Today, got lead in the ass.
 

Roadrunner

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Stay near a gym...hospitals suck.
My problem is not that I am in bad shape, but, if I ever fucked up and got hurt out here, there ain't nobody to hear me, and I am 90 miles from decent care.

Good thing is, when shit has happened out here in the past, they use the church I share this clearing with for a chopper pad.

If I could get to a phone, I could get a chopper right on top of me.

If I could get to a phone.
 

deltex1

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Stay near a gym...hospitals suck.
My problem is not that I am in bad shape, but, if I ever fucked up and got hurt out here, there ain't nobody to hear me, and I am 90 miles from decent care.

Good thing is, when shit has happened out here in the past, they use the church I share this clearing with for a chopper pad.

If I could get to a phone, I could get a chopper right on top of me.

If I could get to a phone.
They have these portable phones nowadays...call em cell phones I think...
 

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