Wow, I guess I shouldn't...

[RandomVariable]

If Kooshdakhaa would like I could explain why God wants her to live. I don't understand my role in that aspect well enough yet to just go into it. I will if requested however.

 

[RandomVariable]

Great!



Thanks! For caring!

Why do you believe she mentioned Gracie in the OP? That seemed a bit random.

I only know because of this thread: http://www.usmessageboard.com/general-discussion/354988-cyber-bullying-across-usmb.html#post9108217 There are no random events, only coincidences. I should know.

Well actually I was actually manipulating Kooshdakhaa but my manipulation of you was only a manipulation to manipulate the OP. How does that make you feel now? If you feel manipulated you shouldn't. Or should you?

Actually, I feel all warm and fuzzy, regardless of who you may or may not be manipulating.

So you believe there was some link, some non-coincidence, between Gracie-Bashing and the inspiration to being this thread?

What would be that motive?

You feel all warm and fuzzy? Nooo! I have failed. I will only accept one failure on this thread or I will be completely devastated. What in the world could possibly make me feel better. Oh if there was only something, anything that would make me feel just a little better.

"inspiration to being this thread" typo?

 

[Samson]

No, I am trying to manipulate you. She is only an innocent bystander. How does that make you feel?

Great!



Thanks! For caring!

Why do you believe she mentioned Gracie in the OP? That seemed a bit random.

Not random at all. There is a thread which Gracie started expressing a vulnerble medical/emotional problem she is going through now and she was vilified by quite a few people. It was really ugly. No compassion at all by some people.

Esse, and here I thought you were ignoring me.

Yes I read the thread (which was moved into House's, I think).

My point would be why mention it in the OP? It has no relationship to a pet's death, which would seem to be a much more relevant topic (although it has been 4 months) than the reception Gracie had to blaming her doctor for her addiction to pain killers.

 

[Samson]

I only know because of this thread: http://www.usmessageboard.com/general-discussion/354988-cyber-bullying-across-usmb.html#post9108217 There are no random events, only coincidences. I should know.

Well actually I was actually manipulating Kooshdakhaa but my manipulation of you was only a manipulation to manipulate the OP. How does that make you feel now? If you feel manipulated you shouldn't. Or should you?

Actually, I feel all warm and fuzzy, regardless of who you may or may not be manipulating.

So you believe there was some link, some non-coincidence, between Gracie-Bashing and the inspiration to being this thread?

What would be that motive?

You feel all warm and fuzzy? Nooo! I have failed. I will only accept one failure on this thread or I will be completely devastated. What in the world could possibly make me feel better. Oh if there was only something, anything that would make me feel just a little better.

"inspiration to being this thread" typo?

Ok I'll throw you a bone.


Finding my typos really, Really upsets me. I just wet my pants.




Better now?

 

[RandomVariable]

Actually, I feel all warm and fuzzy, regardless of who you may or may not be manipulating.

So you believe there was some link, some non-coincidence, between Gracie-Bashing and the inspiration to being this thread?

What would be that motive?

You feel all warm and fuzzy? Nooo! I have failed. I will only accept one failure on this thread or I will be completely devastated. What in the world could possibly make me feel better. Oh if there was only something, anything that would make me feel just a little better.

"inspiration to being this thread" typo?

Ok I'll throw you a bone.


Finding my typos really, Really upsets me. I just wet my pants.




Better now?

No, I didn't understand the sentence. I think I get it now. I have to go and be accosted by the corporate marketing world now. I'll be back today, tomorrow at the latest. Stay tuned...

Oh and now we have two people feeling upset on this thread. Someone please make this madness end.

 

[Samson]

You feel all warm and fuzzy? Nooo! I have failed. I will only accept one failure on this thread or I will be completely devastated. What in the world could possibly make me feel better. Oh if there was only something, anything that would make me feel just a little better.

"inspiration to being this thread" typo?

Ok I'll throw you a bone.


Finding my typos really, Really upsets me. I just wet my pants.




Better now?

No, I didn't understand the sentence. I think I get it now. I have to go and be accosted by the corporate marketing world now. I'll be back today, tomorrow at the latest. Stay tuned...

Oh and now we have two people feeling upset on this thread. Someone please make this madness end.

Ah Ok, here you go:

So you believe there was some link, some non-coincidence, between Gracie-Bashing and the inspiration to begin this thread?

 

[Mertex]

She posts a lot in pets and is very genuine about the loss of her dog and how much that has hurt her. I've talked to her a few times. I don't think she was playing us. But if that's what you want to think, so be it. I just hope she was able to see that some people here cared enough to try to help her. On a messageboard like this, that's about all you can hope for.

Yeah, over four (4) months has passed since the dog died.

She's playing you.

It may be other things other than the death of the dog....only a counselor would be able to point that out, and besides, people grieve differently, I myself do not grieve for my pets for a long time, I know they will probably die before I do, and I recognize that and am glad for the time I have with them. Getting a new pet has always helped me forget the one I lost, but then everyone is not like me and I understand that.

You appear to be rather young based on your response....a mature person has probably gone through several incidents such as the one Koosh went through, losing a pet, and are more sympathetic to others going through the same thing. I've seen many of Koosh's post, and I don't think she is the type of person who would do that as a joke. You need to not be so cynical about people.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

I'm not playing anyone. I'm not going to repeat my origial post, it says it all. Read it again. There is truth there, along with anger and a dose of sarcasm.

As for getting rid of the gun, that's ridiculous. Shall I get rid of my car and garage, also? Actually, just the car, I read that you shouldn't do it in the garage as you might also kill anyone living in the house. So you get a hose, attach it to the exhaust and then route it into the car. I did go back and feel the exhaust pipe to see what type of hose I'd need. Should I get rid of my car?

I don't think I'll kill myself. I do, in fact, have several living creatures who depend on me. Their lives would be greatly diminished if they had to depend on my husband for their care. He seems to care only for himself. Especially my doberman, Hannah. She is Greta's half-sister and has tried to fill Greta's place in my life, although no one can fill Greta's place.

Only four months since Greta died? That is nothing. It is 134 days today since she died. I have cried every day.

It's been getting worse, lately, not better and I realized it's because it's spring. Bright sunny days, everything turning green. And I realize how much Greta would have loved this. How she loved the spring and summer, running outside on the grass...eating the grass! Basking in the sun. Greta lived life with gusto, she reveled in every little thing. The passing of winter into spring was not a little thing to Greta, it was nothing short of joyous. So as we enter this season, I miss her even more than before.

She was not "just a dog." She was not a pet. She was my best friend.

She was brilliant and beautiful and so full of life. Do you want to see her eyes? Look at these eyes..you can see the old soul there. Older and wiser than most people I know.

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

I'm not playing anyone. I'm not going to repeat my origial post, it says it all. Read it again. There is truth there, along with anger and a dose of sarcasm.

As for getting rid of the gun, that's ridiculous. Shall I get rid of my car and garage, also? Actually, just the car, I read that you shouldn't do it in the garage as you might also kill anyone living in the house. So you get a hose, attach it to the exhaust and then route it into the car. I did go back and feel the exhaust pipe to see what type of hose I'd need. Should I get rid of my car?

I don't think I'll kill myself. I do, in fact, have several living creatures who depend on me. Their lives would be greatly diminished if they had to depend on my husband for their care. He seems to care only for himself. Especially my doberman, Hannah. She is Greta's half-sister and has tried to fill Greta's place in my life, although no one can fill Greta's place.

Only four months since Greta died? That is nothing. It is 134 days today since she died. I have cried every day.

It's been getting worse, lately, not better and I realized it's because it's spring. Bright sunny days, everything turning green. And I realize how much Greta would have loved this. How she loved the spring and summer, running outside on the grass...eating the grass! Basking in the sun. Greta lived life with gusto, she reveled in every little thing. The passing of winter into spring was not a little thing to Greta, it was nothing short of joyous. So as we enter this season, I miss her even more than before.

She was not "just a dog." She was not a pet. She was my best friend.

She was brilliant and beautiful and so full of life. Do you want to see her eyes? Look at these eyes..you can see the old soul there. Older and wiser than most people I know.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UXJTOxWFXI&feature=youtu.be

There is no question she is beautiful and was deeply loved by you. I'm glad to read your post this evening. I came back to check and see if you had written anything. You are such a sincere and compassionate person, Kooshda. Any animal would be blessed to have you for a friend. You are truly a loyal and devoted type of person. They usually feel things deeper. If I had the choice of feeling nothing and feeling deeply I'd choose the latter even though it comes at a price. We're believing the best for you and most of us here do know that you have gone through a very heartbreaking trial here. I'm sorry you even read anyone who doubts it. Surround yourself with people who care about you, believe in you and will nurture you through this, Kooshda. I'm here for you and so are many others. We love you. - Jeri

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

I cut the video off where I did because I asked her to "speak" and just then one of the other dogs came into the room and her eyes got all evil-looking and she went into guard dog mode.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

As for the gun, it was a revolver of some sort and I didn't even take it out of the holster. I would think it was loaded though, an unloaded gun isn't much use if someone breaks into your house in the middle of the night!

I don't think I'll kill myself, I'm really too much of a chickenshit to do that. I also don't want to hurt others who are left behind. But it's like I told my husband, I need some slack. He might want to cook his own meal once in a while, he worked as a freaking chef for 17 years for crying out loud.

But I'm afraid my grief is turning into something else, and it scares me. And that something else is anxiety and panic, which surely leads to depression. I went through that when I was only about 20 years old and still look back in wonder at how tough I was...that I survived it. Of course, it probably explains why I drank like a fish for a few decades. (I don't drink anymore...would probably already be dead if I had continued drinking the way I was)


The thing about Greta is that she was the one who comforted me and kept me calm through this last decade. And now she's gone, so I have to learn to get along without her. And sometimes I don't want to. But I have to, I know that.

The one thing that will absolutely keep me from killing myself is this...the possibliity that by doing that I hurt my chances of meeting up with her in the Afterlife. Now, I think all this Afterlife stuff is probably a fool's dream, but nonetheless I don't want to in any way jeopardize seeing my Greta again some day. So I'll live out this miserable life as best as I can.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

I'm embarassed to talk about myself anymore...maybe someone who is depressed or grieving or fearful will read this and realize they're not alone.

 

[Esmeralda]

I'm embarassed to talk about myself anymore...maybe someone who is depressed or grieving or fearful will read this and realize they're not alone.

Go here: http://www.petloss.com/rainbowbridge.htm

http://www.petloss.com/

http://www.petloss.com/newchat.htm

You will find like minded people and pet loss grief support! You'll see.

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

I had a traumatic stress disorder from childhood that winded out of control later in life and I had anxiety attacks and alot of times I would wake up with no air in my lungs. It feels as if you are suffocating. I learned to wake up a certain way that I was in control of it faster. I also learned how to not panic which can be done believe it or not.

The medication they gave me was zanax and that drug should be banned. In my opinion. It was a nightmare getting off of it. It shuts off a part of your brain that you literally cannot sleep. The solution I found was melatonin and herbal teas such as passion flower. I also make sure to get outside and walk - get fresh air - spend time listening to the wind blowing through the trees, birds singing. I do alot of gardening too and that helps. I am no longer on zanax and I don't have any anxiety attacks. They are completely gone. I haven't had one in a very long time now. I feel as if I never will have one again.

 

[Samson]

I'm embarassed to talk about myself anymore...maybe someone who is depressed or grieving or fearful will read this and realize they're not alone.

Before you leave, could you explain why you mentioned Gracie in the OP?

 

[Samson]

As for the gun, it was a revolver of some sort and I didn't even take it out of the holster. I would think it was loaded though, an unloaded gun isn't much use if someone breaks into your house in the middle of the night!

I don't think I'll kill myself, I'm really too much of a chickenshit to do that. I also don't want to hurt others who are left behind. But it's like I told my husband, I need some slack. He might want to cook his own meal once in a while, he worked as a freaking chef for 17 years for crying out loud.

But I'm afraid my grief is turning into something else, and it scares me. And that something else is anxiety and panic, which surely leads to depression. I went through that when I was only about 20 years old and still look back in wonder at how tough I was...that I survived it. Of course, it probably explains why I drank like a fish for a few decades. (I don't drink anymore...would probably already be dead if I had continued drinking the way I was)


The thing about Greta is that she was the one who comforted me and kept me calm through this last decade. And now she's gone, so I have to learn to get along without her. And sometimes I don't want to. But I have to, I know that.

The one thing that will absolutely keep me from killing myself is this...the possibliity that by doing that I hurt my chances of meeting up with her in the Afterlife. Now, I think all this Afterlife stuff is probably a fool's dream, but nonetheless I don't want to in any way jeopardize seeing my Greta again some day. So I'll live out this miserable life as best as I can.

You need professional help.

Blubblering away to message board sympathisers is no substitute.

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

I believe all panic attacks are triggered by something unconscious going on. When we figure out what that is we free ourselves of it. Fear of the unknown can be a big one.

 

[Esmeralda]

Actually, I feel all warm and fuzzy, regardless of who you may or may not be manipulating.

So you believe there was some link, some non-coincidence, between Gracie-Bashing and the inspiration to being this thread?

What would be that motive?

You feel all warm and fuzzy? Nooo! I have failed. I will only accept one failure on this thread or I will be completely devastated. What in the world could possibly make me feel better. Oh if there was only something, anything that would make me feel just a little better.

"inspiration to being this thread" typo?

Ok I'll throw you a bone.


Finding my typos really, Really upsets me. I just wet my pants.




Better now?

She's not faking anything. You just don't understand. You are adding to the pain of someone who is grieving. My suggestion is that you just move on and ignore this thread so you don't cause anymore pain. Questioning the suffering of someone who is grieving is not cool.

Koosh, ignore Samson. He knows not what he does. Samson, please go away. Your posts are inappropriate and hurtful. Trust me, I know.

 

[RandomVariable]

Kooshdakhaa,

Sorry, ran in have to run out. I understand what you mean by an old soul. Pet story for you. I was coming out of Starbucks and there was a nice looking dog sitting next to someone at a table. I asked permission to say hello to her dog. I let the dog sniff my hand and the petted the dog and said some kind words. I got up and said, "Have a good day." The woman said something like, "Thank you. You too." It startled me a bit. I guess her reaction was to be expected, I was talking to the dog however.

If Greta saw you with that gun in your hand she would have probably sank her teeth into your wrist something fierce. (She probably won't, but she should, and you know it.) I have heard of the spring depression. Spring is rebirth but it also reminds of us of the ones who won't experience it. You say Greta was an old soul. Does that not mean she will be back. The love you have given her she will also pass on to the next person who needs her and to that person she will go. You two will be reunited again. Greet her with the love she will greet you with. Love, RV.

 

[RandomVariable]

As for the gun, it was a revolver of some sort and I didn't even take it out of the holster. I would think it was loaded though, an unloaded gun isn't much use if someone breaks into your house in the middle of the night!

I don't think I'll kill myself, I'm really too much of a chickenshit to do that. I also don't want to hurt others who are left behind. But it's like I told my husband, I need some slack. He might want to cook his own meal once in a while, he worked as a freaking chef for 17 years for crying out loud.

But I'm afraid my grief is turning into something else, and it scares me. And that something else is anxiety and panic, which surely leads to depression. I went through that when I was only about 20 years old and still look back in wonder at how tough I was...that I survived it. Of course, it probably explains why I drank like a fish for a few decades. (I don't drink anymore...would probably already be dead if I had continued drinking the way I was)


The thing about Greta is that she was the one who comforted me and kept me calm through this last decade. And now she's gone, so I have to learn to get along without her. And sometimes I don't want to. But I have to, I know that.

The one thing that will absolutely keep me from killing myself is this...the possibliity that by doing that I hurt my chances of meeting up with her in the Afterlife. Now, I think all this Afterlife stuff is probably a fool's dream, but nonetheless I don't want to in any way jeopardize seeing my Greta again some day. So I'll live out this miserable life as best as I can.

You need professional help.

Blubblering away to message board sympathisers is no substitute.

As soon as I get a chance I am going to bash you something fierce. Just wait right there!