The Happening (2008)
Directed by M. Night Shyamalan.
This movie was so bad that I felt violated.
Seriously, what's not to like? Trees revolting against human oppression by screwing with our brains and taking away our fear of dying - people begin committing mass suicide, it's money in the bank!
Weird ass flick - and not in a good way. I mean embarrassingly bad, so bad, that you probably break up with whoever took you to see it.
When a movie is terrible right off, rest assured that the worst is yet to come. I can just hear the desperation in the actors voices as they pleaded with the director to forget the whole thing in a last ditch effort to save their carriers.
Tree spores? That was supposed to scare us? Why not a giant slug or a crazy cab driver with a screwdriver??? I didn't get how that was supposed to frighten us - anything else in the world would have been more frightening!
Stupidest scene: some dumb-ass starts singing in order to convince home-owner that he isn't a Zombie, but he sucks so bad that they killed some kid. Too bad the guy singing didn't get killed, that would have been cool.
Oh, they walked in the woods ... a lot. So much, that it makes you think that the director did this to keep costs down. Eventually the dumb-ass (Mark Wahlberg) learns that if you stay in small groups - the trees don't attack! Brilliant, that's it folks! Move along, sorry about wasting two hours of your life - please stay in small groups when you leave the theatre.
What was really bad about this train wreak, was that a lot of critics acted like this movie was not that bad. Dude, are you serious????? This flick invented suck! Critics made money off this one in the form of shameless bribes.
The trees suddenly decide to stop.
They start up again, latter though and I screamed OH, ****!!!! People laughed, but I wasn't kidding, I couldn't take it anymore.
*
(one star do to unintentional comedic value)