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whinning....

Againsheila

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yes, I want to whine. This is the second Monday in a row that my son's caregiver didn't show up and I have to cancel my plans to give out lunches at the church. In fact, in the last 3 weeks, even though I'm suppose to have a caregiver every weekday, I've had one for no more than 4 days.....

The company can't seem to get it's act together. I'm depressed to the point that I don't have nightmares when I sleep, I have mean dreams. Dreamed somebody told me she wished I'd die, so in my dream I just shut down and tried to do that every thing.

It's not so much that I mind taking care of my own sun, it's that I feel trapped and want to get out...Heck I have things I have to do and I can't do them with my son along. So much for the dream of getting a job outside of the home....

no thank you, no cheese with this whine....just wanted to whine.
 

Conspiracist

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Life can be tough and you seem like a tough lady. Just remember we can only take things as they come and one day at a time :)

Hope you can smile soon.
 

Big Black Dog

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Let me see if I understand this... You need somebody to watch your son so you can hand out meals at church? Wonder which is more important? Taking care of your son or taking care of somebody else? Sorry, I don't understand. Seems to me like watching your own son would have priority but that's just me.
 
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Againsheila

Againsheila

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Let me see if I understand this... You need somebody to watch your son so you can hand out meals at church? Wonder which is more important? Taking care of your son or taking care of somebody else? Sorry, I don't understand. Seems to me like watching your own son would have priority but that's just me.

My son is 22 years old and in diapers......it's more than just handing out lunches...it's getting away and talking to people who can talk back.

Since the state pays for the hours, I should be getting them covered. I'm not getting the money when they don't show up, no one is....it's a waste. The only reason they even provided me with a caregiver in the first place is because I threatened to drop my son off at his ddd counselors office. He threatened to charge me with child abandonment and I pointed out that my son is over 18 and we never filled out the paperwork to be his legal guardians...I had a caregiver the following week. But so much has happened to that poor caregiver that I don't get the care for my son that I need and I'm dangerously close to a nervous breakdown. You try caring for a 22 year old that's still in diapers and refuses to wear them 24/7 and see how well you deal.
 

uscitizen

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Apologies Sheila. I had forgotten about your special needs son.
Most sincere apologies.

Hang in there girl. Positive vibes sent your way.
 

Conspiracist

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Let me see if I understand this... You need somebody to watch your son so you can hand out meals at church? Wonder which is more important? Taking care of your son or taking care of somebody else? Sorry, I don't understand. Seems to me like watching your own son would have priority but that's just me.

My son is 22 years old and in diapers......it's more than just handing out lunches...it's getting away and talking to people who can talk back.

Since the state pays for the hours, I should be getting them covered. I'm not getting the money when they don't show up, no one is....it's a waste. The only reason they even provided me with a caregiver in the first place is because I threatened to drop my son off at his ddd counselors office. He threatened to charge me with child abandonment and I pointed out that my son is over 18 and we never filled out the paperwork to be his legal guardians...I had a caregiver the following week. But so much has happened to that poor caregiver that I don't get the care for my son that I need and I'm dangerously close to a nervous breakdown. You try caring for a 22 year old that's still in diapers and refuses to wear them 24/7 and see how well you deal.

I thought it may be something like that. Sounds like you could use a get away.
 

strollingbones

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Let me see if I understand this... You need somebody to watch your son so you can hand out meals at church? Wonder which is more important? Taking care of your son or taking care of somebody else? Sorry, I don't understand. Seems to me like watching your own son would have priority but that's just me.

that is most unkind count...she is taking care of her son 24/7...do you have any idea what a burden that is? all she ask for is a break...and yet you needle her for going to church to help out.....gee i guess she should just buy some crack and stay at home with her son...and suck down a crack pipe....

do you have any idea the toll it takes on a person to give up everything to care for a special needs child.....?? do you?

i find your comment unkind and without any empathy...

shelia i hope things improve for you




count ....you should be ashamed....
 

Big Black Dog

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Let me see if I understand this... You need somebody to watch your son so you can hand out meals at church? Wonder which is more important? Taking care of your son or taking care of somebody else? Sorry, I don't understand. Seems to me like watching your own son would have priority but that's just me.

that is most unkind count...she is taking care of her son 24/7...do you have any idea what a burden that is? all she ask for is a break...and yet you needle her for going to church to help out.....gee i guess she should just buy some crack and stay at home with her son...and suck down a crack pipe....

do you have any idea the toll it takes on a person to give up everything to care for a special needs child.....?? do you?

i find your comment unkind and without any empathy...

shelia i hope things improve for you




count ....you should be ashamed....

No, I'm not ashamed. But I do understand the circumstances now. I do beg your pardon. Sorry I was such a louse. However, if you didn't have the special needs son, I would feel the way I stated. I can understand your need for a break. Good luck with it all.
 

Luissa

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Let me see if I understand this... You need somebody to watch your son so you can hand out meals at church? Wonder which is more important? Taking care of your son or taking care of somebody else? Sorry, I don't understand. Seems to me like watching your own son would have priority but that's just me.

YOu obviously have never had to take care of a specials needs child.
I don't Sheila, but from what she has wrote on her, her whole life is taking care of her son. And if she wants a break to give out meals at church, or to just go somewhere for a break I am pretty sure she deserves it.
 

Big Black Dog

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Let me see if I understand this... You need somebody to watch your son so you can hand out meals at church? Wonder which is more important? Taking care of your son or taking care of somebody else? Sorry, I don't understand. Seems to me like watching your own son would have priority but that's just me.

YOu obviously have never had to take care of a specials needs child.
I don't Sheila, but from what she has wrote on her, her whole life is taking care of her son. And if she wants a break to give out meals at church, or to just go somewhere for a break I am pretty sure she deserves it.

OK.OK. No need for everybody to chew my ass. I have sincerely apologized to her and I do understand the circumstances now. I did not know the circumstances before this and I assumed something different. You know what happens when you assume. As far as taking care of a special needs child, no, I've never done that but I was a corpsman in the Navy for 20 years and took care of a lot of other folks in need - sometimes equal to her son. In her OP, she wasn't entirely clear from the start and I did not know about her son being a special needs person. With that said, time to move on to something different. My ass is raw from it being chewed upon...
 
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Againsheila

Againsheila

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Let me see if I understand this... You need somebody to watch your son so you can hand out meals at church? Wonder which is more important? Taking care of your son or taking care of somebody else? Sorry, I don't understand. Seems to me like watching your own son would have priority but that's just me.

that is most unkind count...she is taking care of her son 24/7...do you have any idea what a burden that is? all she ask for is a break...and yet you needle her for going to church to help out.....gee i guess she should just buy some crack and stay at home with her son...and suck down a crack pipe....

do you have any idea the toll it takes on a person to give up everything to care for a special needs child.....?? do you?

i find your comment unkind and without any empathy...

shelia i hope things improve for you




count ....you should be ashamed....

No, I'm not ashamed. But I do understand the circumstances now. I do beg your pardon. Sorry I was such a louse. However, if you didn't have the special needs son, I would feel the way I stated. I can understand your need for a break. Good luck with it all.

It's okay, you didn't know.
 
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Againsheila

Againsheila

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Thanks everybody, for standing up for me, but Count didn't know. I say it so often, I sometimes think I overly talk about it. I'll take this as a hint that I don't overly whine about it. :D
 

random3434

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Shelia, I'm glad you can come here to vent at least. Is there anyone in your family that can give you a break, even for a few hours? Like I've told you before, call the college near your special ed. department, maybe some students need some extra $$ and could help out a few times a month, that extra money would be worth it for your sanity.


I wish you the best dear, I know it's not easy.


Feel free to PM me if you just want to talk.
 

Luissa

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Thanks everybody, for standing up for me, but Count didn't know. I say it so often, I sometimes think I overly talk about it. I'll take this as a hint that I don't overly whine about it. :D

You should switch companies.
See if they have a Beneficial where you live, they are a good company. Or you could see if the state will pay for an IP.
 

xsited1

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Thanks everybody, for standing up for me, but Count didn't know. I say it so often, I sometimes think I overly talk about it. I'll take this as a hint that I don't overly whine about it. :D

:thup: Vent anytime you want. I completely understand.
 

Luissa

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Also I think a lot of moms who stay out of home with their kids, even if they are "normal" need a break.
I love my son, and I enjoy being with him, but l am somewhat happy with not being a stay at home mom. You need an outlet sometimes.
 

strollingbones

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sometimes when you dont know something...perhaps you should not be sitting in judgement of others....perhaps when you are sitting in judgement of others...you should realize you might not know of everything.....you showed your ass..and now you get the ass chewing you deserve...
 

uscitizen

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KY just passed a law requiring insurance to cover autistic child needs up thru adult.
50K per year up till 12 or so I think and 1K per month after that age.
 

Zoom-boing

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Sheila, is there another agency you can contact for services? We encountered not being able to get anyone to come when my son was younger. After several months we eventually gave up.

Does your county provide any type of wrap-around services? I don't know if they still do this with adults. Are there any other group homes available?

My heart goes out to you.
 

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