When men don’t want sex

[Grace]

That is how I feel. If one is only interested in casual sex, the whole experience is diminished and much less satisfying. It would leave one feeling empty, I think. There has to be other things in common that don't involve carnality. The more meaningful the experience the greater the pleasure.

Very true. The problem in my case being that what I'm seeking is much more of a traditional type relationship than most modern women are seeking, which adds a second strike against me, for most of them.

You've nearly succeeded in making it impossible for yourself. Keep trying and you'll get there.

There are women out there that feel the same way he does. Not impossible. Just more picky and secure in what he wants...and she wants.

 

[Meister]

When men don’t want sex

Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him at his website, GoodInBed.

“Not tonight, honey. I have a headache.” How many times has a guy heard that before? Husbands around the world are all too familiar with being sexually rejected. But now, more than ever, those words, (or some variation), are being expressed by men, to their female partners. While the conventional wisdom has been that it’s usually the woman in the relationship who inevitably loses interest in sex, the opposite is often true. Low male desire is at all-time high, and is likely to occur for any number of reasons:

When men don

I used that one time with an ex live-in girlfriend after she hit me in the head with a glass of ice tea, then wanted make-up sex.

 

[Anachronism]

There are women out there that feel the same way he does. Not impossible. Just more picky and secure in what he wants...and she wants.

Nice to see that at least somebody gets it.

 

[Shadow]

When men don’t want sex

Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him at his website, GoodInBed.

“Not tonight, honey. I have a headache.” How many times has a guy heard that before? Husbands around the world are all too familiar with being sexually rejected. But now, more than ever, those words, (or some variation), are being expressed by men, to their female partners. While the conventional wisdom has been that it’s usually the woman in the relationship who inevitably loses interest in sex, the opposite is often true. Low male desire is at all-time high, and is likely to occur for any number of reasons:

When men don

I used that one time with an ex live-in girlfriend after she hit me in the head with a glass of ice tea, then wanted make-up sex.

What is with men,and dating women who bean them with glass objects? Or Women who pull their arms out of sockets? It the make up sex THAT good?

 

[Momanohedhunter]

your eyes are brown, eh?

Green. Why the doubter? It is simply a matter of opportunity..and common sense. Spend most of your time in places where people have most of their clothes off already..outside bars in the hot sun put people in the mood. Preferably one with a hot tub or bar side pool. Have enough money and time to entertain...If you go to an outside bar/restaurant get the best table with shade..order two of the best appetizers and don't pig out. If someone interesting comes along it's good to have something tasty and pleasing already there. It's no mystery cupcake. It doesn't hurt to have symmetrical features and perfect teeth, perfect complexion. Shower two or three times a day. Get your hair styled professionally... minimum jewelry, top name clothing but simple..not gaudy. Get a tan..a real one. Drive a nice car or be driven in a nice car. Tip generously...ALWAYS! Be kind in public. Learn how to dance. Be selective with whom you are seen. Women are jealous by nature..they always want what the most beautiful girl in the room is having. In some circles it also helps to have good taste in party favors..best wine, weed..cocaine and don't be stingy with it. For Christ sake learn how to please a woman physically. Don't waste time when the green light is on. Tell her what is on your mind and have a private place to go to. She will probably tell you before you bring it up if you are what she has in mind. Never talk about other women..not even if she asks. NEVER take her to a fast food place! If you must have crap food always have it brought to you by room service or courier..that makes it appear you are selective. When in the best restaurant you can afford tell her what's good there but always tell her to order anything she wants. Don't EVER order a drink with an umbrella in it or any fruit. For Gods sake go out and buy the best tailored 3 piece suit you can afford... I look good in a French dark chocolate velvet. Men ALWAYS look better in western boots. EXCEPT when you are wearing only swim trunks! Your choice in sun glasses is important. Either have the most expensive understated ones or Rayban "Aviators". Smell good! Find the deodorant or cologne that works for you and stick with it. DON"T EVER WHINE!!! EVER!!! Find the most interesting features of your surroundings and talk about THAT...If the most interesting feature of your surroundings is her..talk about her. Point out her best features. She didn't spend all that time on herself in front of the mirror for nothing. NEVER groom yourself in public. There is more but those are some of the basics. Follow these tips and you will get laid CONSTANTLY!

You need to write a book on how to pick up women.

You mean there is a better way then ruphi's ?

 

[ekrem]

is the main reason.

Porn. The Internet has made porn much more accessible - and the frequent masturbation it triggers may be making men too worn out for sex with a real partner. As I’ve discussed before in this blog, men are masturbating 50 to 500 percent more than they would normally without Internet porn. So if a guy normally masturbated once a day, he might now be doing it two or three times a day. If he masturbated three times a week, he might now be getting graphic with his graphics 15 times a week. If you’re 17 and single, this might not be a problem.


But if you’re 40 and toting a gut, it’s an issue - a real issue. Some guys may still feel mentally like they’re 17 years old, but they can’t have sex that way. Their bodies have changed and so have their refractory periods, the natural interval between erections. Guys with low desire may simply lack the mojo for real sex because they’re depleted from masturbation.

STOP JERKING OFF DAMNIT!!!

If the Japanese invent a female Cyborg with power-off and power-on, women in society will revert to a more traditionalist role. Out of free will.
Unless the 1st generation of Cyborgs have a software malfunction and behave like a moody creature with a lot of headaches once they are powered on.

 

[ekrem]

The problem is that what we are socialized to believe vs. the actual realities of human sexuality are very different things:

Women are obsessed with sex, though 'sex' is much more than just copulation to a women. Society socializes women to defy their true sex drive.

Men however are not quite as obsessed with sex as we are made to believe. Society promotes sexuality in men in order to get them to be more 'animalistic'.

Now, when men are young they are sexually repressed, and therefore sexually obsessed - basically young men will do just about anything for sex. However, as men get more experience with sex they become less obsessed with sex and more desirous of relationships - their 'paternal instinct' (i.e. desire for love) kicks in. They become selective.

Meanwhile, women are ever more cravenous of sex as they gain experience - this is only throttled by their intense instinctive desire to birth and provide a safe 'nest'. The desire for relationships by women is only because of the reality that wild sex lives are contradictory to providing a safe 'nest' in a modern soceity.

Meanwhile, men reduce their sex drives thru masterbation as a defensive mechanism - women will use a man's sex drive against him.

So for a mature intelligent responsible man, selectivity in sexual relationships is not only normal and healthy - it's plain smart. Of course sexual rejection outrages women - it means that they lose control - it means that they have to put more into a relationship than just sex - it defies their tendancy to use sex for dictatorial control of the relationship.

Of course there are a majority of men who are neither mature, intelligent or responsible and who are just too plain stupid to realize how much women take advantage of them - they protect themselves psychologically thru chauvanism.

Social standards improve with time.
The law-giver says, that women are equal and have a self-esteem, which is guaranteed and to be respected.
This was not always the case.
http://img714.imageshack.us/img714/8408/oldtmes.jpg

 

[ekrem]

After all, we've been conditioned to think that men are basically penises with bodies attached, so if they don't want sex, it MUST be us, right? The idea that men are human beings whose sexual response is affected by life and emotions doesn't occur to us.

+18
http://img814.imageshack.us/img814/6985/7c631481f60ae6652eeb079.jpg

 

[HUGGY]

Green. Why the doubter? It is simply a matter of opportunity..and common sense. Spend most of your time in places where people have most of their clothes off already..outside bars in the hot sun put people in the mood. Preferably one with a hot tub or bar side pool. Have enough money and time to entertain...If you go to an outside bar/restaurant get the best table with shade..order two of the best appetizers and don't pig out. If someone interesting comes along it's good to have something tasty and pleasing already there. It's no mystery cupcake. It doesn't hurt to have symmetrical features and perfect teeth, perfect complexion. Shower two or three times a day. Get your hair styled professionally... minimum jewelry, top name clothing but simple..not gaudy. Get a tan..a real one. Drive a nice car or be driven in a nice car. Tip generously...ALWAYS! Be kind in public. Learn how to dance. Be selective with whom you are seen. Women are jealous by nature..they always want what the most beautiful girl in the room is having. In some circles it also helps to have good taste in party favors..best wine, weed..cocaine and don't be stingy with it. For Christ sake learn how to please a woman physically. Don't waste time when the green light is on. Tell her what is on your mind and have a private place to go to. She will probably tell you before you bring it up if you are what she has in mind. Never talk about other women..not even if she asks. NEVER take her to a fast food place! If you must have crap food always have it brought to you by room service or courier..that makes it appear you are selective. When in the best restaurant you can afford tell her what's good there but always tell her to order anything she wants. Don't EVER order a drink with an umbrella in it or any fruit. For Gods sake go out and buy the best tailored 3 piece suit you can afford... I look good in a French dark chocolate velvet. Men ALWAYS look better in western boots. EXCEPT when you are wearing only swim trunks! Your choice in sun glasses is important. Either have the most expensive understated ones or Rayban "Aviators". Smell good! Find the deodorant or cologne that works for you and stick with it. DON"T EVER WHINE!!! EVER!!! Find the most interesting features of your surroundings and talk about THAT...If the most interesting feature of your surroundings is her..talk about her. Point out her best features. She didn't spend all that time on herself in front of the mirror for nothing. NEVER groom yourself in public. There is more but those are some of the basics. Follow these tips and you will get laid CONSTANTLY!

You need to write a book on how to pick up women.

You mean there is a better way then ruphi's ?

I suppose to some that may be humorous. Not to be a wet blanket but I don't think it is funny to joke about putting any woman or man at a chemical, drug or alcohol disadvantage to coerce them into doing something they wouldn't do of their own free will with a clear mind.

If you are dancing with a woman in a club and the woman says..."hey let's go get blind drunk and see if we can ****" ....that's one thing..but I have never given anyone any substance or liquid in an attempt to make them "loose" or more inclined to do something based on bad judgment. In fact when meeting a woman in the company of others and reaching a mutual attraction that may lead to something physical it is ALWAYS a good idea to be open with the whole group as to yours and hers intentions. Get their names also. People do a lot of things willingly that based on conditions you don't know anything about may get flaky when having to deal with the consequences later...like if he or she is married or has a jealous significant other.

I've seen some very crazy conversations in a bar turn into more but be careful. One girl I was dancing with used the line.."I'm so horny but my boyfriend won't **** me because my ***** is too tight." She was with two friends and acted single. Really beautiful but a little ditsy and intoxicated. So I said to her.."Wow !..so you have a tight *****. I can't imagine that being a problem....Well I believe I can help you out with that. I live close by. Let's go tell your friends we are leaving." Of course as I am telling her that she is practically jacking me off out there on the dance floor. It all worked out ok but that was definitely thin ice. And ya she had an incredibly tight *****. It was very juicy though so the pressure was not uncomfortable. I was not injured.

 

[Cecilie1200]

I'm on the fence as to what parts of that are socialization, and what parts are actual wiring. Nature versus nurture. I believe it is a mix.

Rogers and Hammerstein considered this one. There is a song in "The King and I" called "Song of the King." The King is pontificating on his double standard analysis of man's pursuit of woman. At the close of the song, he says:

A girl must be like a blossom
With honey for just one man.
A man must be like honey bee
And gather all he can.
To fly from blossom to blossom
A honey bee must be free,
But blossom must not ever fly
From bee to bee to bee.

I love that guy . . .

George

Well, isn't that convenient...for men

Apparently not, or they wouldn't ever get married. But most of them do.

Do you think behaving the way the song prescribes for men would be more convenient for WOMEN?

 

[Meister]

When men don’t want sex

Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him at his website, GoodInBed.

“Not tonight, honey. I have a headache.” How many times has a guy heard that before? Husbands around the world are all too familiar with being sexually rejected. But now, more than ever, those words, (or some variation), are being expressed by men, to their female partners. While the conventional wisdom has been that it’s usually the woman in the relationship who inevitably loses interest in sex, the opposite is often true. Low male desire is at all-time high, and is likely to occur for any number of reasons:

When men don

I used that one time with an ex live-in girlfriend after she hit me in the head with a glass of ice tea, then wanted make-up sex.

What is with men,and dating women who bean them with glass objects? Or Women who pull their arms out of sockets? It the make up sex THAT good?

No, not that good but it was easy....I'm not saying that I was the brightest star in the sky during that period. I learned that after she had knifed me....changed the way I thought.

 

[dilloduck]

I used that one time with an ex live-in girlfriend after she hit me in the head with a glass of ice tea, then wanted make-up sex.

What is with men,and dating women who bean them with glass objects? Or Women who pull their arms out of sockets? It the make up sex THAT good?

No, not that good but it was easy....I'm not saying that I was the brightest star in the sky during that period. I learned that after she had knifed me....changed the way I thought.

I might have dated her--did she ever throw whiskey bottles at ya ?

 

[George Costanza]

I'm on the fence as to what parts of that are socialization, and what parts are actual wiring. Nature versus nurture. I believe it is a mix.

Rogers and Hammerstein considered this one. There is a song in "The King and I" called "Song of the King." The King is pontificating on his double standard analysis of man's pursuit of woman. At the close of the song, he says:

A girl must be like a blossom
With honey for just one man.
A man must be like honey bee
And gather all he can.
To fly from blossom to blossom
A honey bee must be free,
But blossom must not ever fly
From bee to bee to bee.

I love that guy . . .

George

Well, isn't that convenient...for men

I don't judge. I just report . . .

 

[George Costanza]

On this issue of men being wired differently than women when it comes to sex . . .

Guy is talking to another guy. He says: "Hey, I just found the best bar in the world. You go in there, get free drinks and then you can go in the back and have all the sex you want."

Other guy says: "Holy cow! Where is this place?"

First guy says: "I don't know. My sister told me about it."

 

[Meister]

What is with men,and dating women who bean them with glass objects? Or Women who pull their arms out of sockets? It the make up sex THAT good?

No, not that good but it was easy....I'm not saying that I was the brightest star in the sky during that period. I learned that after she had knifed me....changed the way I thought.

I might have dated her--did she ever throw whiskey bottles at ya ?

Never wasted any good whiskey, dillo but you may have dated her.

 

[HUGGY]

When men don’t want sex

Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him at his website, GoodInBed.

“Not tonight, honey. I have a headache.” How many times has a guy heard that before? Husbands around the world are all too familiar with being sexually rejected. But now, more than ever, those words, (or some variation), are being expressed by men, to their female partners. While the conventional wisdom has been that it’s usually the woman in the relationship who inevitably loses interest in sex, the opposite is often true. Low male desire is at all-time high, and is likely to occur for any number of reasons:

When men don

I used that one time with an ex live-in girlfriend after she hit me in the head with a glass of ice tea, then wanted make-up sex.

Wtf is make up sex? That's crazy! Where is the door?

 

[Meister]

Geeze, Huggy...haven't you ever lived life on the edge?

 

[HUGGY]

Geeze, Huggy...haven't you ever lived life on the edge?

UH...Ya...like my whole life pretty much but hang out with a psychotic woman? Not a chance. No ***** is THAT good. Would you hang out with a guy that threw glass objects at you or stabbed you? The important thing to keep in mind is that there are several billion women out there. If only one in a thousand is up to your standards that means that there are still several million available.

 

[Meister]

Geeze, Huggy...haven't you ever lived life on the edge?

UH...Ya...like my whole life pretty much but hang out with a psychotic woman? Not a chance. No ***** is THAT good. Would you hang out with a guy that threw glass objects at you or stabbed you? The important thing to keep in mind is that there are several billion women out there. If only one in a thousand is up to your standards that means that there are still several million available.

The strange part was that all my male friends envied me.....until the knifing went down.

 

[HUGGY]

Geeze, Huggy...haven't you ever lived life on the edge?

UH...Ya...like my whole life pretty much but hang out with a psychotic woman? Not a chance. No ***** is THAT good. Would you hang out with a guy that threw glass objects at you or stabbed you? The important thing to keep in mind is that there are several billion women out there. If only one in a thousand is up to your standards that means that there are still several million available.

The strange part was that all my male friends envied me.....until the knifing went down.

I wouldn't be able to face my friends if I had a girlfriend that crazy. People go to prison hanging around nut cases like that. Someone like that is a liability. I wonder why your friends envied you.