I think we have many of those moments in our lives. One that sticks in my mind at the moment was walking out of the court house in San Bernardino, Ca. I was eighteen and free. I knew in my heart God had set me free. I had been in an abusive marriage for a little over three years. When I had gone into the courthouse for the divorce hearing it was overcast and I was as nervous as could be. I rode in the elevator up to the floor where the courtrooms were with two very large black men. They had stepped into the elevator right behind me and the door shut. I did not get nervous about that until one made a comment to the other about how cute I was. By the time I got into the courtroom I was a nervous wreck. This was back in the day "do it yourself" divorces were still a new thing. I had been waiting for months for this day and I was scared to death of my soon to be ex. He was like being near a time bomb that you never knew when it would go off.
I sat at the back of the gallery so I could watch and see if the ex came into the courtroom. The room was full of people. My case was called first. I thought oh great. I was hoping I would get to watch someone else to see how this was all done before it was my turn.
Then I decided this might be a good thing I don't have to wait for everyone else. I walked up to where the man by the judge instructed me and sat in the seat where one testifies. I am sitting there looking back at the gallery of people and getting very nervous. Something like stage fright.
Then the judge started asking me questions. After a round of questions I'm thinking, this ain't to bad. I started to relax a bit as the judge read through my paperwork and asked his questions. My responses were yes sir and no sir. There was a slew of questions about the last few months of support, visits and the children and such. Then he asked, "Does Mr.... have a job?" I told him that I was unsure at the moment and explained what I knew from the latest news I had on him. Then the judge asked, "Is Mr.... physically handicapped?" I told him no sir not that I know of. Then he asked, "Is Mr... mentally impaired?" I said, well your honor if you ask me. The whole gallery of people started laughing. I must have turned twenty shades of red. The judge picked up his gavel and pounded it on his desk to silence the crowd. The judge real off his order so fast I could not understand what he said. Then he turned to me and said, "Young lady. I want you to go home and add up everything it takes you and your children to live on each month. Do not forget to add toothpaste, toilet paper and other needs you and the children have each month. Do you understand me? I answered yes sir. He said after you get that done you come back and see me, okay. I said yes sir and then I was instructed to go by the court guy. Before I moved though I looked at the judge and he said Is something wrong? I asked him, does that mean I divorce now? He said yes.
I walked out of the court room, got into the elevator and felt as light as air. When I walked out of the building I walked into the sunshine. I felt like I was free for the first time ever. I thanked God for setting me free.
