'What Has God Ever Done For Me?' Asks Man Breathing Air

[Weatherman2020]

A little satire that drives home the topic.

LYNNWOOD, WA—Sources confirmed Tuesday that local freethinker Jared Olson called into question the “absurd” idea that God had ever done anything for him, all while inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide in a complex process well beyond his mind’s capability of understanding in its entirety.

“The idea of ‘god’ is really just holding us back,” Olson opined, addressing the other members of the philosophy club at Edmonds Community College, as the membrane across his larynx vibrated to modulate the flow of air from his lungs, making his speech audible to the people listening, whose intricate ear structures then instantly transformed the invisible sound waves into abstract thought in their brain’s nervous tissue.

Olson went on to pursue the line of reasoning even further, claiming that mankind has science, medicine, and mathematics to thank for its continued existence rather than any sort of all-powerful creator, for which there is “absolutely no evidence.” According to eyewitnesses, he made these claims as the surface his feet rested on continued to spin around the earth’s core without any input from him, all while the only known habitable planet on which he stood rocketed around the center of the galaxy in perfect formation at the unfathomable rate of 490,000 miles per hour.

At one point during his expertly-crafted speech, Olson reportedly glanced around the room to observe the nods of approval from his peers, his eyes’ hundreds of millions of cone and rod cells responding to stimuli in an unimaginably sophisticated procedure. As these elaborate structures continued to capture and process an unbelievable volume of input per second, Olson reported he was all the more confident from the looks of those around him that he had proved his case.

According to Olson, he plans to detail religion’s negative influence on society at next week’s meeting, which is being held in the annex adjacent to both a Christian homeless shelter and Catholic hospital.

'What Has God Ever Done For Me?' Asks Man Breathing Air

 

[Questioner]

He's making a dishonest argument from authority, his assertion in regards to evidence is made based on faith, not on having gathered evidence himself.

Likewise, none of his secular Humanist beliefs, which I assume he's espousing (not likely a freethinker, so much as just an adherent of the secular Humanist religion) are backed by scientific evidence, nor are they repeatable or testable per Bacon's scientific method, just religious or philosophical axioms held based on faith, nothing more.

 

[Weatherman2020]

He's making a dishonest argument from authority, his assertion in regards to evidence is made based on faith, not on having gathered evidence himself.

Likewise, none of his secular Humanist beliefs, which I assume he's espousing (not likely a freethinker, so much as just an adherent of the secular Humanist religion) are backed by scientific evidence, nor are they repeatable or testable per Bacon's scientific method, just religious or philosophical axioms held based on faith, nothing more.

You get a 9.8 for your gymnastics.

 

[Questioner]

He's making a dishonest argument from authority, his assertion in regards to evidence is made based on faith, not on having gathered evidence himself.

Likewise, none of his secular Humanist beliefs, which I assume he's espousing (not likely a freethinker, so much as just an adherent of the secular Humanist religion) are backed by scientific evidence, nor are they repeatable or testable per Bacon's scientific method, just religious or philosophical axioms held based on faith, nothing more.

You get a 9.8 for your gymnastics.

Not at all, secular Humanism is recognized as a religion by the Supreme Court. It was inspired by Auguste Comte and other post-French revolution thinkers, who originally wanted it to be a full fledged replacement for the Catholic Church, complete with "secular" saints and sacraments.

Affirmations of Humanism | Free Inquiry

The beliefs of the Secular Humanist religion or philosophy are here, and include various beliefs axioms accepted on faith, which have nothing to with "science", "emperical evidence", "testability" or notions of that nature, such as:

We attempt to transcend divisive parochial loyalties based on race, religion, gender, nationality, creed, class, sexual orientation, or ethnicity, and strive to work together for the common good of humanity.

We want to protect and enhance the earth, to preserve it for future generations, and to avoid inflicting needless suffering on other species.

We believe in the common moral decencies: altruism, integrity, honesty, truthfulness, responsibility. Humanist ethics is amenable to critical, rational guidance. There are normative standards that we discover together. Moral principles are tested by their consequences.

Even Francis Bacon's scientific method as a means of learning about or understanding the world is predicated on faith-based axioms, such as the "inherent" worth of that method in comparison to other methods or bodies of knowledge which can't be substantiated without circular reasoning - empiricism, reductionism, and so forth were only one of many, even during the Enlightenment era in which their modern incarnations originated.

 

[anynameyouwish]

A little satire that drives home the topic.

View attachment 292178

LYNNWOOD, WA—Sources confirmed Tuesday that local freethinker Jared Olson called into question the “absurd” idea that God had ever done anything for him, all while inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide in a complex process well beyond his mind’s capability of understanding in its entirety.

“The idea of ‘god’ is really just holding us back,” Olson opined, addressing the other members of the philosophy club at Edmonds Community College, as the membrane across his larynx vibrated to modulate the flow of air from his lungs, making his speech audible to the people listening, whose intricate ear structures then instantly transformed the invisible sound waves into abstract thought in their brain’s nervous tissue.

Olson went on to pursue the line of reasoning even further, claiming that mankind has science, medicine, and mathematics to thank for its continued existence rather than any sort of all-powerful creator, for which there is “absolutely no evidence.” According to eyewitnesses, he made these claims as the surface his feet rested on continued to spin around the earth’s core without any input from him, all while the only known habitable planet on which he stood rocketed around the center of the galaxy in perfect formation at the unfathomable rate of 490,000 miles per hour.

At one point during his expertly-crafted speech, Olson reportedly glanced around the room to observe the nods of approval from his peers, his eyes’ hundreds of millions of cone and rod cells responding to stimuli in an unimaginably sophisticated procedure. As these elaborate structures continued to capture and process an unbelievable volume of input per second, Olson reported he was all the more confident from the looks of those around him that he had proved his case.

According to Olson, he plans to detail religion’s negative influence on society at next week’s meeting, which is being held in the annex adjacent to both a Christian homeless shelter and Catholic hospital.

'What Has God Ever Done For Me?' Asks Man Breathing Air

there is no god

therefore oxygen did not come from god.

 

[Questioner]

A little satire that drives home the topic.

View attachment 292178

LYNNWOOD, WA—Sources confirmed Tuesday that local freethinker Jared Olson called into question the “absurd” idea that God had ever done anything for him, all while inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide in a complex process well beyond his mind’s capability of understanding in its entirety.

“The idea of ‘god’ is really just holding us back,” Olson opined, addressing the other members of the philosophy club at Edmonds Community College, as the membrane across his larynx vibrated to modulate the flow of air from his lungs, making his speech audible to the people listening, whose intricate ear structures then instantly transformed the invisible sound waves into abstract thought in their brain’s nervous tissue.

Olson went on to pursue the line of reasoning even further, claiming that mankind has science, medicine, and mathematics to thank for its continued existence rather than any sort of all-powerful creator, for which there is “absolutely no evidence.” According to eyewitnesses, he made these claims as the surface his feet rested on continued to spin around the earth’s core without any input from him, all while the only known habitable planet on which he stood rocketed around the center of the galaxy in perfect formation at the unfathomable rate of 490,000 miles per hour.

At one point during his expertly-crafted speech, Olson reportedly glanced around the room to observe the nods of approval from his peers, his eyes’ hundreds of millions of cone and rod cells responding to stimuli in an unimaginably sophisticated procedure. As these elaborate structures continued to capture and process an unbelievable volume of input per second, Olson reported he was all the more confident from the looks of those around him that he had proved his case.

According to Olson, he plans to detail religion’s negative influence on society at next week’s meeting, which is being held in the annex adjacent to both a Christian homeless shelter and Catholic hospital.

'What Has God Ever Done For Me?' Asks Man Breathing Air

there is no god

therefore oxygen did not come from god.

That's begging the question.

 

[Fort Fun Indiana]

A little satire that drives home the topic.

View attachment 292178

LYNNWOOD, WA—Sources confirmed Tuesday that local freethinker Jared Olson called into question the “absurd” idea that God had ever done anything for him, all while inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide in a complex process well beyond his mind’s capability of understanding in its entirety.

“The idea of ‘god’ is really just holding us back,” Olson opined, addressing the other members of the philosophy club at Edmonds Community College, as the membrane across his larynx vibrated to modulate the flow of air from his lungs, making his speech audible to the people listening, whose intricate ear structures then instantly transformed the invisible sound waves into abstract thought in their brain’s nervous tissue.

Olson went on to pursue the line of reasoning even further, claiming that mankind has science, medicine, and mathematics to thank for its continued existence rather than any sort of all-powerful creator, for which there is “absolutely no evidence.” According to eyewitnesses, he made these claims as the surface his feet rested on continued to spin around the earth’s core without any input from him, all while the only known habitable planet on which he stood rocketed around the center of the galaxy in perfect formation at the unfathomable rate of 490,000 miles per hour.

At one point during his expertly-crafted speech, Olson reportedly glanced around the room to observe the nods of approval from his peers, his eyes’ hundreds of millions of cone and rod cells responding to stimuli in an unimaginably sophisticated procedure. As these elaborate structures continued to capture and process an unbelievable volume of input per second, Olson reported he was all the more confident from the looks of those around him that he had proved his case.

According to Olson, he plans to detail religion’s negative influence on society at next week’s meeting, which is being held in the annex adjacent to both a Christian homeless shelter and Catholic hospital.

'What Has God Ever Done For Me?' Asks Man Breathing Air

To anyone who underatands evolution, there is no mystery or miracle to be found here.

 

[Weatherman2020]

A little satire that drives home the topic.

View attachment 292178

LYNNWOOD, WA—Sources confirmed Tuesday that local freethinker Jared Olson called into question the “absurd” idea that God had ever done anything for him, all while inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide in a complex process well beyond his mind’s capability of understanding in its entirety.

“The idea of ‘god’ is really just holding us back,” Olson opined, addressing the other members of the philosophy club at Edmonds Community College, as the membrane across his larynx vibrated to modulate the flow of air from his lungs, making his speech audible to the people listening, whose intricate ear structures then instantly transformed the invisible sound waves into abstract thought in their brain’s nervous tissue.

Olson went on to pursue the line of reasoning even further, claiming that mankind has science, medicine, and mathematics to thank for its continued existence rather than any sort of all-powerful creator, for which there is “absolutely no evidence.” According to eyewitnesses, he made these claims as the surface his feet rested on continued to spin around the earth’s core without any input from him, all while the only known habitable planet on which he stood rocketed around the center of the galaxy in perfect formation at the unfathomable rate of 490,000 miles per hour.

At one point during his expertly-crafted speech, Olson reportedly glanced around the room to observe the nods of approval from his peers, his eyes’ hundreds of millions of cone and rod cells responding to stimuli in an unimaginably sophisticated procedure. As these elaborate structures continued to capture and process an unbelievable volume of input per second, Olson reported he was all the more confident from the looks of those around him that he had proved his case.

According to Olson, he plans to detail religion’s negative influence on society at next week’s meeting, which is being held in the annex adjacent to both a Christian homeless shelter and Catholic hospital.

'What Has God Ever Done For Me?' Asks Man Breathing Air

To anyone who underatands evolution, there is no mystery or miracle to be found here.

Only crazy people think if you combine certain percentages of the periodic table it’ll write a concerto and make funny cat memes some day.

 

[Weatherman2020]

A little satire that drives home the topic.

View attachment 292178

LYNNWOOD, WA—Sources confirmed Tuesday that local freethinker Jared Olson called into question the “absurd” idea that God had ever done anything for him, all while inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide in a complex process well beyond his mind’s capability of understanding in its entirety.

“The idea of ‘god’ is really just holding us back,” Olson opined, addressing the other members of the philosophy club at Edmonds Community College, as the membrane across his larynx vibrated to modulate the flow of air from his lungs, making his speech audible to the people listening, whose intricate ear structures then instantly transformed the invisible sound waves into abstract thought in their brain’s nervous tissue.

Olson went on to pursue the line of reasoning even further, claiming that mankind has science, medicine, and mathematics to thank for its continued existence rather than any sort of all-powerful creator, for which there is “absolutely no evidence.” According to eyewitnesses, he made these claims as the surface his feet rested on continued to spin around the earth’s core without any input from him, all while the only known habitable planet on which he stood rocketed around the center of the galaxy in perfect formation at the unfathomable rate of 490,000 miles per hour.

At one point during his expertly-crafted speech, Olson reportedly glanced around the room to observe the nods of approval from his peers, his eyes’ hundreds of millions of cone and rod cells responding to stimuli in an unimaginably sophisticated procedure. As these elaborate structures continued to capture and process an unbelievable volume of input per second, Olson reported he was all the more confident from the looks of those around him that he had proved his case.

According to Olson, he plans to detail religion’s negative influence on society at next week’s meeting, which is being held in the annex adjacent to both a Christian homeless shelter and Catholic hospital.

'What Has God Ever Done For Me?' Asks Man Breathing Air

there is no god

therefore oxygen did not come from god.

It just appeared out of thin..... nothing.

 

[CarlinAnnArbor]

A little satire that drives home the topic.

View attachment 292178

LYNNWOOD, WA—Sources confirmed Tuesday that local freethinker Jared Olson called into question the “absurd” idea that God had ever done anything for him, all while inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide in a complex process well beyond his mind’s capability of understanding in its entirety.

“The idea of ‘god’ is really just holding us back,” Olson opined, addressing the other members of the philosophy club at Edmonds Community College, as the membrane across his larynx vibrated to modulate the flow of air from his lungs, making his speech audible to the people listening, whose intricate ear structures then instantly transformed the invisible sound waves into abstract thought in their brain’s nervous tissue.

Olson went on to pursue the line of reasoning even further, claiming that mankind has science, medicine, and mathematics to thank for its continued existence rather than any sort of all-powerful creator, for which there is “absolutely no evidence.” According to eyewitnesses, he made these claims as the surface his feet rested on continued to spin around the earth’s core without any input from him, all while the only known habitable planet on which he stood rocketed around the center of the galaxy in perfect formation at the unfathomable rate of 490,000 miles per hour.

At one point during his expertly-crafted speech, Olson reportedly glanced around the room to observe the nods of approval from his peers, his eyes’ hundreds of millions of cone and rod cells responding to stimuli in an unimaginably sophisticated procedure. As these elaborate structures continued to capture and process an unbelievable volume of input per second, Olson reported he was all the more confident from the looks of those around him that he had proved his case.

According to Olson, he plans to detail religion’s negative influence on society at next week’s meeting, which is being held in the annex adjacent to both a Christian homeless shelter and Catholic hospital.

'What Has God Ever Done For Me?' Asks Man Breathing Air

God haters are an ignorant bunch. God calls them fools

 

[CarlinAnnArbor]

A little satire that drives home the topic.

View attachment 292178

LYNNWOOD, WA—Sources confirmed Tuesday that local freethinker Jared Olson called into question the “absurd” idea that God had ever done anything for him, all while inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide in a complex process well beyond his mind’s capability of understanding in its entirety.

“The idea of ‘god’ is really just holding us back,” Olson opined, addressing the other members of the philosophy club at Edmonds Community College, as the membrane across his larynx vibrated to modulate the flow of air from his lungs, making his speech audible to the people listening, whose intricate ear structures then instantly transformed the invisible sound waves into abstract thought in their brain’s nervous tissue.

Olson went on to pursue the line of reasoning even further, claiming that mankind has science, medicine, and mathematics to thank for its continued existence rather than any sort of all-powerful creator, for which there is “absolutely no evidence.” According to eyewitnesses, he made these claims as the surface his feet rested on continued to spin around the earth’s core without any input from him, all while the only known habitable planet on which he stood rocketed around the center of the galaxy in perfect formation at the unfathomable rate of 490,000 miles per hour.

At one point during his expertly-crafted speech, Olson reportedly glanced around the room to observe the nods of approval from his peers, his eyes’ hundreds of millions of cone and rod cells responding to stimuli in an unimaginably sophisticated procedure. As these elaborate structures continued to capture and process an unbelievable volume of input per second, Olson reported he was all the more confident from the looks of those around him that he had proved his case.

According to Olson, he plans to detail religion’s negative influence on society at next week’s meeting, which is being held in the annex adjacent to both a Christian homeless shelter and Catholic hospital.

'What Has God Ever Done For Me?' Asks Man Breathing Air

there is no god

therefore oxygen did not come from god.

God will always exist. Your existence is not guaranteed

 

[Fort Fun Indiana]

A little satire that drives home the topic.

View attachment 292178

LYNNWOOD, WA—Sources confirmed Tuesday that local freethinker Jared Olson called into question the “absurd” idea that God had ever done anything for him, all while inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide in a complex process well beyond his mind’s capability of understanding in its entirety.

“The idea of ‘god’ is really just holding us back,” Olson opined, addressing the other members of the philosophy club at Edmonds Community College, as the membrane across his larynx vibrated to modulate the flow of air from his lungs, making his speech audible to the people listening, whose intricate ear structures then instantly transformed the invisible sound waves into abstract thought in their brain’s nervous tissue.

Olson went on to pursue the line of reasoning even further, claiming that mankind has science, medicine, and mathematics to thank for its continued existence rather than any sort of all-powerful creator, for which there is “absolutely no evidence.” According to eyewitnesses, he made these claims as the surface his feet rested on continued to spin around the earth’s core without any input from him, all while the only known habitable planet on which he stood rocketed around the center of the galaxy in perfect formation at the unfathomable rate of 490,000 miles per hour.

At one point during his expertly-crafted speech, Olson reportedly glanced around the room to observe the nods of approval from his peers, his eyes’ hundreds of millions of cone and rod cells responding to stimuli in an unimaginably sophisticated procedure. As these elaborate structures continued to capture and process an unbelievable volume of input per second, Olson reported he was all the more confident from the looks of those around him that he had proved his case.

According to Olson, he plans to detail religion’s negative influence on society at next week’s meeting, which is being held in the annex adjacent to both a Christian homeless shelter and Catholic hospital.

'What Has God Ever Done For Me?' Asks Man Breathing Air

To anyone who underatands evolution, there is no mystery or miracle to be found here.

Only crazy people think if you combine certain percentages of the periodic table it’ll write a concerto and make funny cat memes some day.

Neat! Hey...in all of your life, has any educated person ever heard that horseshit from you and said, "You know...youre right! Clearly I should take my science from terrified, ignorant, illiterate, iron aged people!"

Haw haw

 

[Weatherman2020]

A little satire that drives home the topic.

View attachment 292178

LYNNWOOD, WA—Sources confirmed Tuesday that local freethinker Jared Olson called into question the “absurd” idea that God had ever done anything for him, all while inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide in a complex process well beyond his mind’s capability of understanding in its entirety.

“The idea of ‘god’ is really just holding us back,” Olson opined, addressing the other members of the philosophy club at Edmonds Community College, as the membrane across his larynx vibrated to modulate the flow of air from his lungs, making his speech audible to the people listening, whose intricate ear structures then instantly transformed the invisible sound waves into abstract thought in their brain’s nervous tissue.

Olson went on to pursue the line of reasoning even further, claiming that mankind has science, medicine, and mathematics to thank for its continued existence rather than any sort of all-powerful creator, for which there is “absolutely no evidence.” According to eyewitnesses, he made these claims as the surface his feet rested on continued to spin around the earth’s core without any input from him, all while the only known habitable planet on which he stood rocketed around the center of the galaxy in perfect formation at the unfathomable rate of 490,000 miles per hour.

At one point during his expertly-crafted speech, Olson reportedly glanced around the room to observe the nods of approval from his peers, his eyes’ hundreds of millions of cone and rod cells responding to stimuli in an unimaginably sophisticated procedure. As these elaborate structures continued to capture and process an unbelievable volume of input per second, Olson reported he was all the more confident from the looks of those around him that he had proved his case.

According to Olson, he plans to detail religion’s negative influence on society at next week’s meeting, which is being held in the annex adjacent to both a Christian homeless shelter and Catholic hospital.

'What Has God Ever Done For Me?' Asks Man Breathing Air

To anyone who underatands evolution, there is no mystery or miracle to be found here.

Only crazy people think if you combine certain percentages of the periodic table it’ll write a concerto and make funny cat memes some day.

Neat! Hey...in all of your life, has any educated person ever heard that horseshit from you and said, "You know...youre right! Clearly I should take my science from terrified, ignorant, illiterate, iron aged people!"

Haw haw

It’s common sense, that’s why it flies right over your head.

Tell us what’s not in the periodic table that makes up you.

Touché.

 

[Fort Fun Indiana]

It’s common sense, that’s why it flies right over your head.

Wow, professor! What a brilliant,insightful argument! Have you published your research paper on this, yet? Have you spoken to any conferences of scientists, yet?

 

[Weatherman2020]

It’s common sense, that’s why it flies right over your head.

Wow, professor! What a brilliant,insightful argument! Have you published your research paper on this, yet? Have you spoken to any conferences of scientists, yet?

Science is a hard subject for you.

 

[Crepitus]

A little satire that drives home the topic.

View attachment 292178

LYNNWOOD, WA—Sources confirmed Tuesday that local freethinker Jared Olson called into question the “absurd” idea that God had ever done anything for him, all while inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide in a complex process well beyond his mind’s capability of understanding in its entirety.

“The idea of ‘god’ is really just holding us back,” Olson opined, addressing the other members of the philosophy club at Edmonds Community College, as the membrane across his larynx vibrated to modulate the flow of air from his lungs, making his speech audible to the people listening, whose intricate ear structures then instantly transformed the invisible sound waves into abstract thought in their brain’s nervous tissue.

Olson went on to pursue the line of reasoning even further, claiming that mankind has science, medicine, and mathematics to thank for its continued existence rather than any sort of all-powerful creator, for which there is “absolutely no evidence.” According to eyewitnesses, he made these claims as the surface his feet rested on continued to spin around the earth’s core without any input from him, all while the only known habitable planet on which he stood rocketed around the center of the galaxy in perfect formation at the unfathomable rate of 490,000 miles per hour.

At one point during his expertly-crafted speech, Olson reportedly glanced around the room to observe the nods of approval from his peers, his eyes’ hundreds of millions of cone and rod cells responding to stimuli in an unimaginably sophisticated procedure. As these elaborate structures continued to capture and process an unbelievable volume of input per second, Olson reported he was all the more confident from the looks of those around him that he had proved his case.

According to Olson, he plans to detail religion’s negative influence on society at next week’s meeting, which is being held in the annex adjacent to both a Christian homeless shelter and Catholic hospital.

'What Has God Ever Done For Me?' Asks Man Breathing Air

And yet you claim evolution is not real while standing upright and typing on your phone with opposable thumbs.

 

[Crepitus]

A little satire that drives home the topic.

View attachment 292178

LYNNWOOD, WA—Sources confirmed Tuesday that local freethinker Jared Olson called into question the “absurd” idea that God had ever done anything for him, all while inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide in a complex process well beyond his mind’s capability of understanding in its entirety.

“The idea of ‘god’ is really just holding us back,” Olson opined, addressing the other members of the philosophy club at Edmonds Community College, as the membrane across his larynx vibrated to modulate the flow of air from his lungs, making his speech audible to the people listening, whose intricate ear structures then instantly transformed the invisible sound waves into abstract thought in their brain’s nervous tissue.

Olson went on to pursue the line of reasoning even further, claiming that mankind has science, medicine, and mathematics to thank for its continued existence rather than any sort of all-powerful creator, for which there is “absolutely no evidence.” According to eyewitnesses, he made these claims as the surface his feet rested on continued to spin around the earth’s core without any input from him, all while the only known habitable planet on which he stood rocketed around the center of the galaxy in perfect formation at the unfathomable rate of 490,000 miles per hour.

At one point during his expertly-crafted speech, Olson reportedly glanced around the room to observe the nods of approval from his peers, his eyes’ hundreds of millions of cone and rod cells responding to stimuli in an unimaginably sophisticated procedure. As these elaborate structures continued to capture and process an unbelievable volume of input per second, Olson reported he was all the more confident from the looks of those around him that he had proved his case.

According to Olson, he plans to detail religion’s negative influence on society at next week’s meeting, which is being held in the annex adjacent to both a Christian homeless shelter and Catholic hospital.

'What Has God Ever Done For Me?' Asks Man Breathing Air

To anyone who underatands evolution, there is no mystery or miracle to be found here.

Only crazy people think if you combine certain percentages of the periodic table it’ll write a concerto and make funny cat memes some day.

Wait, god makes funny cat memes?

Well maybe he has done something for me.

 

[Weatherman2020]

A little satire that drives home the topic.

View attachment 292178

LYNNWOOD, WA—Sources confirmed Tuesday that local freethinker Jared Olson called into question the “absurd” idea that God had ever done anything for him, all while inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide in a complex process well beyond his mind’s capability of understanding in its entirety.

“The idea of ‘god’ is really just holding us back,” Olson opined, addressing the other members of the philosophy club at Edmonds Community College, as the membrane across his larynx vibrated to modulate the flow of air from his lungs, making his speech audible to the people listening, whose intricate ear structures then instantly transformed the invisible sound waves into abstract thought in their brain’s nervous tissue.

Olson went on to pursue the line of reasoning even further, claiming that mankind has science, medicine, and mathematics to thank for its continued existence rather than any sort of all-powerful creator, for which there is “absolutely no evidence.” According to eyewitnesses, he made these claims as the surface his feet rested on continued to spin around the earth’s core without any input from him, all while the only known habitable planet on which he stood rocketed around the center of the galaxy in perfect formation at the unfathomable rate of 490,000 miles per hour.

At one point during his expertly-crafted speech, Olson reportedly glanced around the room to observe the nods of approval from his peers, his eyes’ hundreds of millions of cone and rod cells responding to stimuli in an unimaginably sophisticated procedure. As these elaborate structures continued to capture and process an unbelievable volume of input per second, Olson reported he was all the more confident from the looks of those around him that he had proved his case.

According to Olson, he plans to detail religion’s negative influence on society at next week’s meeting, which is being held in the annex adjacent to both a Christian homeless shelter and Catholic hospital.

'What Has God Ever Done For Me?' Asks Man Breathing Air

And yet you claim evolution is not real while standing upright and typing on your phone with opposable thumbs.

That makes no sense at all.

 

[Crepitus]

A little satire that drives home the topic.

View attachment 292178

LYNNWOOD, WA—Sources confirmed Tuesday that local freethinker Jared Olson called into question the “absurd” idea that God had ever done anything for him, all while inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide in a complex process well beyond his mind’s capability of understanding in its entirety.

“The idea of ‘god’ is really just holding us back,” Olson opined, addressing the other members of the philosophy club at Edmonds Community College, as the membrane across his larynx vibrated to modulate the flow of air from his lungs, making his speech audible to the people listening, whose intricate ear structures then instantly transformed the invisible sound waves into abstract thought in their brain’s nervous tissue.

Olson went on to pursue the line of reasoning even further, claiming that mankind has science, medicine, and mathematics to thank for its continued existence rather than any sort of all-powerful creator, for which there is “absolutely no evidence.” According to eyewitnesses, he made these claims as the surface his feet rested on continued to spin around the earth’s core without any input from him, all while the only known habitable planet on which he stood rocketed around the center of the galaxy in perfect formation at the unfathomable rate of 490,000 miles per hour.

At one point during his expertly-crafted speech, Olson reportedly glanced around the room to observe the nods of approval from his peers, his eyes’ hundreds of millions of cone and rod cells responding to stimuli in an unimaginably sophisticated procedure. As these elaborate structures continued to capture and process an unbelievable volume of input per second, Olson reported he was all the more confident from the looks of those around him that he had proved his case.

According to Olson, he plans to detail religion’s negative influence on society at next week’s meeting, which is being held in the annex adjacent to both a Christian homeless shelter and Catholic hospital.

'What Has God Ever Done For Me?' Asks Man Breathing Air

And yet you claim evolution is not real while standing upright and typing on your phone with opposable thumbs.

That makes no sense at all.

To be honest I didn't really expect you to get it.

 

[Weatherman2020]

A little satire that drives home the topic.

View attachment 292178

LYNNWOOD, WA—Sources confirmed Tuesday that local freethinker Jared Olson called into question the “absurd” idea that God had ever done anything for him, all while inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide in a complex process well beyond his mind’s capability of understanding in its entirety.

“The idea of ‘god’ is really just holding us back,” Olson opined, addressing the other members of the philosophy club at Edmonds Community College, as the membrane across his larynx vibrated to modulate the flow of air from his lungs, making his speech audible to the people listening, whose intricate ear structures then instantly transformed the invisible sound waves into abstract thought in their brain’s nervous tissue.

Olson went on to pursue the line of reasoning even further, claiming that mankind has science, medicine, and mathematics to thank for its continued existence rather than any sort of all-powerful creator, for which there is “absolutely no evidence.” According to eyewitnesses, he made these claims as the surface his feet rested on continued to spin around the earth’s core without any input from him, all while the only known habitable planet on which he stood rocketed around the center of the galaxy in perfect formation at the unfathomable rate of 490,000 miles per hour.

At one point during his expertly-crafted speech, Olson reportedly glanced around the room to observe the nods of approval from his peers, his eyes’ hundreds of millions of cone and rod cells responding to stimuli in an unimaginably sophisticated procedure. As these elaborate structures continued to capture and process an unbelievable volume of input per second, Olson reported he was all the more confident from the looks of those around him that he had proved his case.

According to Olson, he plans to detail religion’s negative influence on society at next week’s meeting, which is being held in the annex adjacent to both a Christian homeless shelter and Catholic hospital.

'What Has God Ever Done For Me?' Asks Man Breathing Air

And yet you claim evolution is not real while standing upright and typing on your phone with opposable thumbs.

That makes no sense at all.

To be honest I didn't really expect you to get it.

Woosh! It flies over your head again.