"Busted cold!"
As we approach Christmas while still 6 months away it's important to realize that fake outrage and phoney 'wars on crap' do not take a holiday. The war on Christmas is as real as Santa Claus so all you doubters just need to tell everyone else who it is that is dressed in red and white every Christmas? You think those are all just people hired to play Santa? Hah, you fall for that line from the Lame Stream Media? Watch Faux News, they know Santa is white and what he wears.
Last year Starbucks tried to inject their worship of Satan into Christmas by making all red coffee cups! You think we don't know what that is about? Anyone knows if you make a red coffee cup at Christmas, without a snowflake or snowman on the cup, that it is a direct attack on Jesus. You think Jesus wants to drink coffee out of a plain red cup? The devil's cup? Or an all green cup? All green - you environmentalists just don't give up do you. Now you hate Christmas.
Rest assured heathens, we're already watching you, waiting. Waiting for the moment you try selling all-red candy-canes, or wrapping paper that looks like a
brown paper bag, or Happy Holidays on your cookies. As soon as we see you so obviously dissing Jesus and not playing 'I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas' once very 15 minutes in your store we will drop down on you like three wise men falling off the roof at Walmart.
(And by the way, we know what all-red is about as well. All-red, as in Gloria Allred! Nice try commies, you and your women's movement trying to brainwash our kids with all-red paper cups. It won't work comrade!)
Now excuse while I get these gifts ready for my coworkers. They're all making a very generous donation to The Human Fund.
