mom4 said:
That is the truth! This is why I spank. There might be a child who could be raised without physical discipline, however, we've all got
hard heads in my house. Spanking should never be a "last resort." By that time, emotions have escalated, and the parent is less in control. At our house, spanking is done for certain offenses: Defiance is an automatic spank. Repeated disobedience=defiance (you have to make sure the kid understands that he is disobeying, for very small kids). Spanking should start around age two, and should not be used past age 10. My eight-year old has only had about one spanking in the past year, the same for my seven-year-old. Of course, they are girls, and they listen better. The boys (3 & 5) are spanked maybe 1-2 times a week, sometimes go a few weeks without an offense, then they start to test the boundaries again. At younger ages, they simply do not understand "reasoning" and "another person's point of view." Check out Kohlberg's stages of morality.
http://www.xenodochy.org/ex/lists/moraldev.html
I think many times, spanking can be prevented with attention to the child. If they get enough attention, they don't act up nearly as much. Of course, I'm lucky; I get to be with them all day.
As for a teacher spanking my child, no. The principal at our school is allowed to spank, but the parent must be notified, and a police witness must be present. We have a policeman stationed at our school campus every day.
Perhaps I could agree to these types of parameters, though I've never been to a K-8 school with a policeman present, (parochial); or a K-6th (public). IF there was such parameters, even I (quite anti-corporal punishment), could sign off-if I liked and trusted the principal, (and the inschool cop).
Out of three children-only 1 did I have to spank, (upon advice of a psychiatrist :shocked: which came out of my frustration at not being able to instill correct behavior that was difficult, but possible with my older two. That 'child' had many, many behavior problems. As an 'young adult' he is pretty darned close to exemplary, (ummm, he's majoring in Law Enforcement
, though the other two are also very good, caring adults. (With all this thinking, I DO remember spanking the first, once-at about 2, when she had tried to cross the street, while I ran to the garage to get a bike or something.)
The older ones, as young children, I was able to usually get their behavior inline with a disapproving word/look. When that failed, (parents know these things
) A 1, 2, 3) usually worked. The rare times I got to three-increasing minutes in a chair-which they never DARED to get out of, worked. Combining that discipline, with set sceduals and required chores with withdrawal of priviliges worked on the older two. Oh yeah, I had NO PROBLEM leaving parties, visits, stores, family holiday functions if a child's behavior was unacceptable to ME-The middle child was extremely hyperactive, so we all learned this by the time he was 2. Never happened to that extent afterwards.
Funny thing is, once our 'family situation' was brought under control by the courts and the youngest was receiving help for his 'anger problems' all bad behavior
at school ceased. (Somehow he was picking up what was taught and modeled at home, he just couldn't gain the necessary controls while there was so much chaos at home).
In general though, I strongly disagree with anyone but a loving parent administering any corporal punishment to a child. I had 'hitting nuns' and some very awful teachers, (not to mention that I know teachers that have students they really don't like-same kids other teachers do like). For teachers, coaches, etc., you just don't know what sets them off-which may well be why a child will act up with them.
