Wishes the forum

jester
Sadly for you, the BLS defines who is not in the labor force...
Not in the labor force
Persons who are neither employed nor unemployed are not in the labor force. This category includes retired persons, students, those taking care of children or other family members, and others who are neither working nor seeking work. Information is collected on their desire for and availability for work, job search activity in the prior year, and reasons for not currently searching. See also Labor force and Discouraged workers.
That's pretty much what I said. As usual, you lose because you're a loser and losing is what losers do best. And you're among the best of them.