Unchained, Dr Fauci recites entire periodic table of elements at White House briefing!

DrLove

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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A newly unchained Dr. Anthony Fauci stunned the White House press corps on Friday when he recited the entire periodic table of elements at a coronavirus briefing.​
Without warning, the esteemed virologist named all of the hundred and eighteen chemical elements on the table, starting with hydrogen and ending with oganesson, along with their abbreviations and atomic numbers.​
“That felt amazing!” Fauci exclaimed, visibly throbbing with excitement. “Now let’s do it backward!”​
According to White House sources, Fauci’s realization that he can now speak freely about science has resulted in several such outbursts since the Inauguration, including during a vaccination-strategy meeting, when he began explaining the theory of relativity.​
“He went to the whiteboard and started scrawling these insanely long equations,” a White House staffer said. “It was like he was possessed.”​
Another staffer agreed. “It’s great having Tony fully engaged, but he’s got to dial it back a little,” the staffer said. “Right now, it’s kind of like having Bill Nye the Science Guy in the room.”​
For his part, Fauci acknowledged that he has not yet fully adjusted to his recent liberation. “Don’t worry—after a day or two I’ll calm down,” he said. “Hey, do you want to hear the first hundred digits of pi?”​

 

Briss

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Tony might have a good memory, but he remains ignorant when it comes to understanding two things at once. He knows damn well that a PCR test set at a cycle threshold of 40 will produce tons of false positives. He also knows that the FDA recommended a cycle threshold of 40. But when it came to putting two and two together, he failed miserably. Despite knowing the bullshit setting on the PCR test, he couldn't muster the common sense to determine that a bunch of false positives means the case rate is bullshit, which means . . .
 

Circe

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He's following the Science ---
 

Papageorgio

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Impressive, when dealing with a virus that you know absolutely about and have no answers for, cite the Periodic Table of Elements and stupid uninformed people will think you are a genius.
 

gtopa1

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IT WASN'T FAUCI'S FAULT!!!!

"Coronavirus: Helen Clark's COVID-19 panel critical of China, World Health Organization

""What is clear to the Panel is that public health measures could have been applied more forcefully by local and national health authorities in China in January," the report said, referring to the initial outbreak of the new disease in the central city of Wuhan, in Hubei province.

As evidence emerged of human-to-human transmission, "in far too many countries, this signal was ignored", it added.

Specifically, it questioned why the WHO's Emergency Committee did not meet until the third week of January and did not declare an international emergency until its second meeting on January 30.

"Although the term pandemic is neither used nor defined in the International Health Regulations (2005), its use does serve to focus attention on the gravity of a health event. It was not until 11 March that WHO used the term," the report said.

"The global pandemic alert system is not fit for purpose", it said. "The World Health Organization has been underpowered to do the job."

Under President Donald Trump, the United States has accused the WHO of being "China-centric", which the agency denies. European countries led by France and Germany have pushed for addressing the WHO's shortcomings on funding, governance and legal powers.

The panel called for a "global reset" and said that it would make recommendations in a final report to health ministers from the WHO's 194 member states in May.

Reuters"


Regardless of my regard for Fauci (or lack thereof), he was NOT to blame.

Greg
 

Rigby5

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People good at memorizing things are the last people you ever want to make decisions that are based on things you can't memorize.

It is clear Fauci goofed.
He claimed herd immunity, what normally ends all epidemics, would take 2.4 million lives.
He clearly was totally and completely wrong.

HIs first mistake was in claiming that no one currently has inherent immunity.
With all epidemics ever, over half the population has already been immune.
That is because no epidemic is ever entirely new, but evolves along with humans evolution against it.
The high number of asymptomatic shows over half the population are already immune inherently, such as most children. (only 100 of the 300,000 dead are children.)

His second mistake was claiming a lethality of 10%, when it really is more like 0.15%.
This is not entirely his fault, but the fault of only the very symptomatic being tested or counted.
We did not even know about all the asymptomatic until August.

His last mistake was in combining all age groups together, when clearly it is almost only the elderly who are dying.
So if herd immunity was focused only on the young, while the elderly were protected, you cut the death rate Fauci estimated by at least a factor of 40.

So instead of Fauci's 2.4 million dead, herd immunity would have ended it in March with only 30,000 dead, far less than we have now.
(And if you think that with 300,000 dead now, that then we should have reached herd immunity, you don't understand herd immunity. There is a time constraint. Herd immunity needs the spike to burn out local hosts. You can't do herd immunity slowly. Has to be quick.)
 

meaner gene

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But when it came to putting two and two together, he failed miserably. Despite knowing the bullshit setting on the PCR test, he couldn't muster the common sense to determine that a bunch of false positives means the case rate is bullshit, which means . . .
You know that an increase in false positives decreases the mortality rate.
 

meaner gene

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People good at memorizing things are the last people you ever want to make decisions that are based on things you can't memorize.
As opposed to Trump who made decisions based on not knowing the facts, and deciding based on shit he just made up.

Trump still thinks the Spanish Flu is from 1917.
 

Briss

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But when it came to putting two and two together, he failed miserably. Despite knowing the bullshit setting on the PCR test, he couldn't muster the common sense to determine that a bunch of false positives means the case rate is bullshit, which means . . .
You know that an increase in false positives decreases the mortality rate.
But first, let's address tony's ignorance. Why does he ignore the false positives when be mentions case numbers?
 

DudleySmith

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It sounds like he has what some would call a wealth of useless knowledge.
lol yes indeed. He could have been trying to learn something useful in all that time he spent memorizing a list easily available at any bookstore.
 

Briss

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People good at memorizing things are the last people you ever want to make decisions that are based on things you can't memorize.
As opposed to Trump who made decisions based on not knowing the facts, and deciding based on shit he just made up.

Trump still thinks the Spanish Flu is from 1917.
When Tony needs defending, compare him to someone else.
 

DudleySmith

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As opposed to Trump who made decisions based on not knowing the facts, and deciding based on shit he just made up.

Trump still thinks the Spanish Flu is from 1917.
Gee, this is so enlightening, like all of your published medical research is. Tell us more!
 

meaner gene

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It sounds like he has what some would call a wealth of useless knowledge.
lol yes indeed. He could have been trying to learn something useful in all that time he spent memorizing a list easily available at any bookstore.
Fauci probably memorized it in medical school. And unlike Trump who thinks he has a great memory because he remembered "man, woman, house, camera, TV"
 
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DrLove

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It sounds like he has what some would call a wealth of useless knowledge.
lol yes indeed. He could have been trying to learn something useful in all that time he spent memorizing a list easily available at any bookstore.
Jesus H - It appears that some of you people don't realize that the OP is S-A-T-I-R-E :rolleyes:
 

meaner gene

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As opposed to Trump who made decisions based on not knowing the facts, and deciding based on shit he just made up.

Trump still thinks the Spanish Flu is from 1917.
When Tony needs defending, compare him to someone else.
I was comparing him to "the decider" The one who actually sets coronavirus response policy.
 
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DrLove

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