- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
- 85
Trump-Daiquiri?
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Two women were presented as 'TrumpUSA sirens' in a GQ magazine story about the inspirational qualities of modern American capitalism. These two 'babes' (Roxanne and Shelly) were presented in sexy clothing in the GQ article/story about what 'drives' today's American capitalist or entrepreneur/businessman. Is it lust? Is it pure ambition? Is it the allure of great fortune? When did the American Dream become an ad for emotional flowery?
As it turns out, Roxanne and Shelly were bank employees working at a very large bank in Virginia. The bank featured an impressive glass-and-brick building with a very large clock-tower at the front. There were three main security alarms, ten security guards, and a computer-system that managed all security protocols and commands/communiques to the police. Two aspiring Virginia Tech economics students (Randy and Roger) decided to follow up on the 'prophecy' of the GQ capitalism-article about Roxanne/Shelly and plotted to rob the Virginia Bank with the impressive clock-tower and kidnap Roxanne and Shelly.
Randy and Roger broke into the bank on a crisp Friday morning after scrambling the computer-security system with an interference-virus. The two ambitious bandits wore ski masks and carried guns and informed the people inside the bank (including the security guards) that their guns were pointed directly at Roxanne and Shelly who were working as tellers that morning. Randy and Roger said that if their robbery was not completed, their guns would go off and Roxanne and Shelly would be instantly killed, creating a large panic and media-fiasco, since the two 'bank babes' (Roxanne/Shelly) were featured in the much talked-about GQ article(!). The bank security guards agreed to drop their weapons, and Randy and Roger proceeded to take over $5 million in cash from the bank vaults, all the while keeping Roxanne/Shelly close to them as 'special hostages.'
Randy and Roger fled that bank with Roxanne and Shelly as hostages and hid in an abandoned house in Virginia Beach. They emailed the Virginia police, stating, "We have Roxanne/Shelly and will release them once President Trump declares the two 'bank babes' as 'ideal capitalism hostages'!". President Trump was notified and agreed to release the demanded statement about Roxanne/Shelly being two idealized GQ article 'capitalism diplomats' (or angels). The Virginia D.A. (Harvey Dent) went on TV in a public state court address, declaring, "We will not allow these two wily 'bank bandits' to exploit our American system of capitalism-journalism!"
Randy and Roger freed Roxanne and Shelly, dropping them off at a local gas station and leaving them with two toy water-pistols. When the police found Roxanne/Shelly, the two bank babes explained to the authorities that the masked 'bank bandits' were very kind to them and simply wanted GQ to publish another article about TrumpUSA capitalism-flowery, this time an article about the consumerism-symbolism of water-guns being sold to youngsters across America. GQ agreed to print the article, once again featuring Roxanne and Shelly (of course) as the theme dolls, about consumerism products (e.g., water-guns) which exploited/glorified violence and piracy in America.
TRUMP: Well, Carter, the Virginia bank bandits eluded everyone!
CARTER: Yes, Mr. President; unfortunately Virginia D.A. Harvey Dent failed.
TRUMP: It's difficult prosecuting the 'culture of piracy.'
CARTER: American traffic is complex...and often bizarre.
TRUMP: It reminds me of that heist-film, The Town.
CARTER: The American Dream has become a 'candy ad.'
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Two women were presented as 'TrumpUSA sirens' in a GQ magazine story about the inspirational qualities of modern American capitalism. These two 'babes' (Roxanne and Shelly) were presented in sexy clothing in the GQ article/story about what 'drives' today's American capitalist or entrepreneur/businessman. Is it lust? Is it pure ambition? Is it the allure of great fortune? When did the American Dream become an ad for emotional flowery?
As it turns out, Roxanne and Shelly were bank employees working at a very large bank in Virginia. The bank featured an impressive glass-and-brick building with a very large clock-tower at the front. There were three main security alarms, ten security guards, and a computer-system that managed all security protocols and commands/communiques to the police. Two aspiring Virginia Tech economics students (Randy and Roger) decided to follow up on the 'prophecy' of the GQ capitalism-article about Roxanne/Shelly and plotted to rob the Virginia Bank with the impressive clock-tower and kidnap Roxanne and Shelly.
Randy and Roger broke into the bank on a crisp Friday morning after scrambling the computer-security system with an interference-virus. The two ambitious bandits wore ski masks and carried guns and informed the people inside the bank (including the security guards) that their guns were pointed directly at Roxanne and Shelly who were working as tellers that morning. Randy and Roger said that if their robbery was not completed, their guns would go off and Roxanne and Shelly would be instantly killed, creating a large panic and media-fiasco, since the two 'bank babes' (Roxanne/Shelly) were featured in the much talked-about GQ article(!). The bank security guards agreed to drop their weapons, and Randy and Roger proceeded to take over $5 million in cash from the bank vaults, all the while keeping Roxanne/Shelly close to them as 'special hostages.'
Randy and Roger fled that bank with Roxanne and Shelly as hostages and hid in an abandoned house in Virginia Beach. They emailed the Virginia police, stating, "We have Roxanne/Shelly and will release them once President Trump declares the two 'bank babes' as 'ideal capitalism hostages'!". President Trump was notified and agreed to release the demanded statement about Roxanne/Shelly being two idealized GQ article 'capitalism diplomats' (or angels). The Virginia D.A. (Harvey Dent) went on TV in a public state court address, declaring, "We will not allow these two wily 'bank bandits' to exploit our American system of capitalism-journalism!"
Randy and Roger freed Roxanne and Shelly, dropping them off at a local gas station and leaving them with two toy water-pistols. When the police found Roxanne/Shelly, the two bank babes explained to the authorities that the masked 'bank bandits' were very kind to them and simply wanted GQ to publish another article about TrumpUSA capitalism-flowery, this time an article about the consumerism-symbolism of water-guns being sold to youngsters across America. GQ agreed to print the article, once again featuring Roxanne and Shelly (of course) as the theme dolls, about consumerism products (e.g., water-guns) which exploited/glorified violence and piracy in America.
TRUMP: Well, Carter, the Virginia bank bandits eluded everyone!
CARTER: Yes, Mr. President; unfortunately Virginia D.A. Harvey Dent failed.
TRUMP: It's difficult prosecuting the 'culture of piracy.'
CARTER: American traffic is complex...and often bizarre.
TRUMP: It reminds me of that heist-film, The Town.
CARTER: The American Dream has become a 'candy ad.'
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