DrLove
Diamond Member

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)āDonald J. Trump was reportedly āfuriousā on Wednesday morning after a purge of right-wing bots by Twitter left him with a total of fourteen remaining followers, aides have confirmed.
Rising at 3 a.m. to engage in one of his trademark early-morning tweetstorms, Trump was incensed to discover that his Twitter following had plummeted from more than forty-eight million to a little more than a dozen.
At Twitter headquarters, in San Francisco, a company spokesman confirmed that Trump had indeed lost 48,076,920 followers in the bot purge. āIt turned out that over forty-six million of the Presidentās followers came from a single troll farm in Macedonia,ā the spokesman said.
As of Wednesday, Trumpās fourteen remaining Twitter followers included his daughter Ivanka; his sons Eric and Donald, Jr.; several White House aides; and someone named Heinrich Himmler III.
āWeāre praying that Heinrich is a real person,ā a White House aide said. āThe President canāt afford to lose another follower.ā
Trump Furious After Twitterās Bot Purge Leaves Him with Fourteen Followers
As of Wednesday, Trumpās remaining followers included family members, several White House aides, and someone named Heinrich Himmler III.