Trump Cuts Ticket Prices at Kennedy Center 5000%

[Crepitus]

Trump Cuts Ticket Prices at Kennedy Center 5000%​

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a bold move to staunch the exodus of audiences from his renamed Kennedy Center, on Thursday Donald J. Trump announced that he was cutting ticket prices 5000 percent.

Trump announced the discount while wearing a sandwich board outside the once-fabled performing arts venue.

… and as long as we’re renaming things:​

https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch...ec-f0e1-4ae7-b8ed-c2d48956a171_1024x1024.heic

 

[TheInfiniteSadness]

Does this mean everyone gets a free prescription with every ticket purchase?

 

[DukeU]

Trump Cuts Ticket Prices at Kennedy Center 5000%​

View attachment 1200278

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a bold move to staunch the exodus of audiences from his renamed Kennedy Center, on Thursday Donald J. Trump announced that he was cutting ticket prices 5000 percent.

Trump announced the discount while wearing a sandwich board outside the once-fabled performing arts venue.
View attachment 1200279

… and as long as we’re renaming things:​

View attachment 1200280
https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DIXS!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/73c9f4ec-f0e1-4ae7-b8ed-c2d48956a171_1024x1024.heic

 

[luiza]

Is it your bad time of the month , DeCrappitus?

Go out and buy yourself something new .
You seem so miserable and depressed .

 

[tahuyaman]

And liberal heads explode.

 

[Crepitus]

When you deflect like that it might as well be a formal surrender.

And I accept your surrender.

 

[DukeU]

When you deflect like that it might as well be a formal surrender.

And I accept your surrender.

You will accept whatever I choose.

 

[Crepitus]

You will accept whatever I choose.

YOu keep telling yourself that, kiddo. You've already surrendered.

 

[DukeU]

YOu keep telling yourself that, kiddo. You've already surrendered.

I'm telling you.

 

[Crepitus]

I'm telling you.

Good luck with that, lol.

 

[DukeU]

Good luck with that, lol.

 

[tahuyaman]

When you deflect like that it might as well be a formal surrender.

And I accept your surrender.

You’re a dumb ******.

 

[tahuyaman]

When you deflect like that it might as well be a formal surrender.

And I accept your surrender.

You’re not a smart person

 

[sealybobo]

Trump Cuts Ticket Prices at Kennedy Center 5000%​

View attachment 1200278

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a bold move to staunch the exodus of audiences from his renamed Kennedy Center, on Thursday Donald J. Trump announced that he was cutting ticket prices 5000 percent.

Trump announced the discount while wearing a sandwich board outside the once-fabled performing arts venue.
View attachment 1200279

… and as long as we’re renaming things:​

View attachment 1200280
https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DIXS!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/73c9f4ec-f0e1-4ae7-b8ed-c2d48956a171_1024x1024.heic

It was free to watch on TV and no one watched. 1/3 of Colbert's ratings

Trump said if he got lower ratings hosting the awards he would quit.

Trump also said he would get the highest ratings.

Trump-hosted “Kennedy Center Honors” averaged an all-time low audience of 3.01 million viewers last month.

“Now it is beneath me to gloat, but if it weren’t beneath me, I’d call him, ‘No talent, low-rated Donald Trump,’”

As a former Kennedy Center host myself, I know it can take a while to build an audience. What were my ratings my first year?” asked Colbert, who tossed to a graphic revealing that he drew 9.25 million viewers when he first emcee’d the ceremony in 2014.

 

[tahuyaman]

It was free to watch on TV and no one watched. 1/3 of Colbert's ratings

Trump said if he got lower ratings hosting the awards he would quit.

Trump also said he would get the highest ratings.

Trump-hosted “Kennedy Center Honors” averaged an all-time low audience of 3.01 million viewers last month.

“Now it is beneath me to gloat, but if it weren’t beneath me, I’d call him, ‘No talent, low-rated Donald Trump,’”

As a former Kennedy Center host myself, I know it can take a while to build an audience. What were my ratings my first year?” asked Colbert, who tossed to a graphic revealing that he drew 9.25 million viewers when he first emcee’d the ceremony in 2014.

WTF was that?

 

[Crepitus]

It was free to watch on TV and no one watched. 1/3 of Colbert's ratings

Trump said if he got lower ratings hosting the awards he would quit.

Trump also said he would get the highest ratings.

Trump-hosted “Kennedy Center Honors” averaged an all-time low audience of 3.01 million viewers last month.

“Now it is beneath me to gloat, but if it weren’t beneath me, I’d call him, ‘No talent, low-rated Donald Trump,’”

As a former Kennedy Center host myself, I know it can take a while to build an audience. What were my ratings my first year?” asked Colbert, who tossed to a graphic revealing that he drew 9.25 million viewers when he first emcee’d the ceremony in 2014.

He is unlikely to quit. Might shut the whole thing down outta spite though.

 

[sealybobo]

He is unlikely to quit. Might shut the whole thing down outta spite though.

I don't think he will be hosting next year. Too embarrassed over the low ratings. You know this bothers him. So competitive. And he had THE LOWEST ratings. That means the 55% of Americans who voted for him did not care to see him host the show.

He said he'd have the highest ratings and he got the lowest. That is ******* GREAT! MAGA