Top 10 Achievements Democrats Can Tout Going Into the Midterms

[Doc7505]

Top 10 Achievements Democrats Can Tout Going Into the Midterms​

Top 10 Achievements Democrats Can Tout Going Into the Midterms

Polling data shows that Democrats have a chance of losing both chambers of Congress. But it's not all doom and gloom! Democrats have some noteworthy achievements under their belt that they can cite to remind Americans why they should stay in power.

babylonbee.com

Polling data shows that Democrats have a chance of losing both chambers of Congress. But it's not all doom and gloom! Democrats have some noteworthy achievements under their belt that they can cite to remind Americans why they should stay in power.
Here are ten fantastic things the Democrats have accomplished this year:

1. The standard of living is up 500% among Ukrainian politicians: Wow! Good for them!
2. Hilarious memes of Biden eating ice cream have increased 40%: Experts agree that laughter improves life span.
3. Thousands of Americans have been saved from the threat of seeing somebody pray in front of an abortion clinic: By arresting pro-lifers, the FBI is finally doing what they were designed to do.
4. That Paw Patrol movie was actually pretty ok: Better than the Rings of Power, anyway.
5. You've learned to appreciate the taste of bulk ramen: Pro tip — Buy multiple flavors and then mix up all the packets. Every time you enjoy a bowl you're playing a game of Ramen roulette!
6. More women of color are piloting the attack drones that bomb Syrian children: Progress!
7. Afghani women don't have to go to school anymore...or work...or make decisions: They can stay home all day to Netflix and chill. You go, gurl!
8. You bought a house, are slowly paying off your debts and made tons of new friends. (In Animal Crossing): And look at that, you just got approved for a new home loan without even asking. Thanks, Tom Nook!
9. Bob from Newport got married: Congrats, Bob!
10. An 800% increase in people missing Trump: Ha! What a bunch of losers!

Commentary:

They have made great strides toward fulfilling the dreams of:​

1. Marquis de Sade
2. Karl Marx
3. Lenin
4. khrushchev
5. Gramsci
6. Mao Zedong
7. Alinsky
8. Guevara
And the amazing predictions of:
9. Huxley
10. Orwell​

We are still here trying and succeeding at fighting back to reverse some of the above.
Doing satire of the Biden Administration means staying one-step-ahead of the chaos emanating from that outfit on a daily basis. You either catch the crazy wave and stay out in front or you get crumpled by events overtaking you. Pretty hard, actually.
Fortunately, the Babylon Bee has really been on their game and they don’t even have to work that hard.

 

[TroglocratsRdumb]

Biden has created millions of new GOP voters.

 

[TroglocratsRdumb]

The Wokey Dopey Democrats have successfully removed white people from TV commercials.

 

[Foolardi]

Top 10 Achievements Democrats Can Tout Going Into the Midterms​

Top 10 Achievements Democrats Can Tout Going Into the Midterms

Polling data shows that Democrats have a chance of losing both chambers of Congress. But it's not all doom and gloom! Democrats have some noteworthy achievements under their belt that they can cite to remind Americans why they should stay in power.

babylonbee.com

Polling data shows that Democrats have a chance of losing both chambers of Congress. But it's not all doom and gloom! Democrats have some noteworthy achievements under their belt that they can cite to remind Americans why they should stay in power.
Here are ten fantastic things the Democrats have accomplished this year:

1. The standard of living is up 500% among Ukrainian politicians: Wow! Good for them!
2. Hilarious memes of Biden eating ice cream have increased 40%: Experts agree that laughter improves life span.
3. Thousands of Americans have been saved from the threat of seeing somebody pray in front of an abortion clinic: By arresting pro-lifers, the FBI is finally doing what they were designed to do.
4. That Paw Patrol movie was actually pretty ok: Better than the Rings of Power, anyway.
5. You've learned to appreciate the taste of bulk ramen: Pro tip — Buy multiple flavors and then mix up all the packets. Every time you enjoy a bowl you're playing a game of Ramen roulette!
6. More women of color are piloting the attack drones that bomb Syrian children: Progress!
7. Afghani women don't have to go to school anymore...or work...or make decisions: They can stay home all day to Netflix and chill. You go, gurl!
8. You bought a house, are slowly paying off your debts and made tons of new friends. (In Animal Crossing): And look at that, you just got approved for a new home loan without even asking. Thanks, Tom Nook!
9. Bob from Newport got married: Congrats, Bob!
10. An 800% increase in people missing Trump: Ha! What a bunch of losers!

Commentary:

They have made great strides toward fulfilling the dreams of:​

​

1. Marquis de Sade
2. Karl Marx
3. Lenin
4. khrushchev
5. Gramsci
6. Mao Zedong
7. Alinsky
8. Guevara
And the amazing predictions of:
9. Huxley
10. Orwell​

We are still here trying and succeeding at fighting back to reverse some of the above.
Doing satire of the Biden Administration means staying one-step-ahead of the chaos emanating from that outfit on a daily basis. You either catch the crazy wave and stay out in front or you get crumpled by events overtaking you. Pretty hard, actually.
Fortunately, the Babylon Bee has really been on their game and they don’t even have to work that hard.

Plus and this is a BiGgY.Democcrats now admit they are proving their
mettle.They are making sure to FORGO use of mustard on their
dogs { Hot Dog or Frankfurters }.Proving how disciplined and prudent
they be.
Like To be or not to Be.
A Buzzing Bee.

 

[beautress]

Top 10 Achievements Democrats Can Tout Going Into the Midterms​

Top 10 Achievements Democrats Can Tout Going Into the Midterms

Polling data shows that Democrats have a chance of losing both chambers of Congress. But it's not all doom and gloom! Democrats have some noteworthy achievements under their belt that they can cite to remind Americans why they should stay in power.

babylonbee.com

Polling data shows that Democrats have a chance of losing both chambers of Congress. But it's not all doom and gloom! Democrats have some noteworthy achievements under their belt that they can cite to remind Americans why they should stay in power.
Here are ten fantastic things the Democrats have accomplished this year:

1. The standard of living is up 500% among Ukrainian politicians: Wow! Good for them!
2. Hilarious memes of Biden eating ice cream have increased 40%: Experts agree that laughter improves life span.
3. Thousands of Americans have been saved from the threat of seeing somebody pray in front of an abortion clinic: By arresting pro-lifers, the FBI is finally doing what they were designed to do.
4. That Paw Patrol movie was actually pretty ok: Better than the Rings of Power, anyway.
5. You've learned to appreciate the taste of bulk ramen: Pro tip — Buy multiple flavors and then mix up all the packets. Every time you enjoy a bowl you're playing a game of Ramen roulette!
6. More women of color are piloting the attack drones that bomb Syrian children: Progress!
7. Afghani women don't have to go to school anymore...or work...or make decisions: They can stay home all day to Netflix and chill. You go, gurl!
8. You bought a house, are slowly paying off your debts and made tons of new friends. (In Animal Crossing): And look at that, you just got approved for a new home loan without even asking. Thanks, Tom Nook!
9. Bob from Newport got married: Congrats, Bob!
10. An 800% increase in people missing Trump: Ha! What a bunch of losers!

Commentary:

They have made great strides toward fulfilling the dreams of:​

​

1. Marquis de Sade
2. Karl Marx
3. Lenin
4. khrushchev
5. Gramsci
6. Mao Zedong
7. Alinsky
8. Guevara
And the amazing predictions of:
9. Huxley
10. Orwell​

We are still here trying and succeeding at fighting back to reverse some of the above.
Doing satire of the Biden Administration means staying one-step-ahead of the chaos emanating from that outfit on a daily basis. You either catch the crazy wave and stay out in front or you get crumpled by events overtaking you. Pretty hard, actually.
Fortunately, the Babylon Bee has really been on their game and they don’t even have to work that hard.

Oops, ya forgot about adding "creep sisters" as the most looked-up phrase in American slang dictionaries by USMB Demmies, thanks to Nancy, Maxine, and Hillary.