The wonder of tampons

[Bootneck]

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?' Eight,'the boy replied.
The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?'
The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him.
He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would
be able to swim, ride a bike, and play tennis. Right now, he can't do any of them.'

 

[Bootneck]

A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons. She notices a display of tampons stacked on a table in corner with a sign on them saying, "5 boxes for a dollar" The woman just couldn't believe this price so she asked the assistant if it was correct. He said, "Yes, five for a dollar." She said, "That can't be right!" Assistant says, "Yes, it's correct. See here? Five boxes for a dollar, no strings attached."

 

[strollingbones]

A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons. She notices a display of tampons stacked on a table in corner with a sign on them saying, "5 boxes for a dollar" The woman just couldn't believe this price so she asked the assistant if it was correct. He said, "Yes, five for a dollar." She said, "That can't be right!" Assistant says, "Yes, it's correct. See here? Five boxes for a dollar, no strings attached."

now i cant help but wonder...does bootneck know that there were and i guess still are tampons without strings...myself...i considered it a real bad idea....like the "cup"..i still do....but that is just one more advantage of my age....man when i first started into menapause nothing would piss me off more than after 9 months having a period lol...you have to be w/o one for a year before its official and over and all...is this tmi in the humor section?

 

[necritan]

A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons. She notices a display of tampons stacked on a table in corner with a sign on them saying, "5 boxes for a dollar" The woman just couldn't believe this price so she asked the assistant if it was correct. He said, "Yes, five for a dollar." She said, "That can't be right!" Assistant says, "Yes, it's correct. See here? Five boxes for a dollar, no strings attached."

now i cant help but wonder...does bootneck know that there were and i guess still are tampons without strings...myself...i considered it a real bad idea....like the "cup"..i still do....but that is just one more advantage of my age....man when i first started into menapause nothing would piss me off more than after 9 months having a period lol...you have to be w/o one for a year before its official and over and all...is this tmi in the humor section?

Yes.

 

[alan1]

A vampire walked into the bar and ordered a cup of hot water.
The other guys at the bar laughed at him and asked if he wanted a manly drink.
As the bartender sat the cup of water in front of him, he pulled out a used tampon, dropped it in the cup and said, "I'll just have my tea".

 

[necritan]

A vampire walked into the bar and ordered a cup of hot water.
The other guys at the bar laughed at him and asked if he wanted a manly drink.
As the bartender sat the cup of water in front of him, he pulled out a used tampon, dropped it in the cup and said, "I'll just have my tea".

Wow.....that was gross....Lol

 

[alan1]

A vampire walked into the bar and ordered a cup of hot water.
The other guys at the bar laughed at him and asked if he wanted a manly drink.
As the bartender sat the cup of water in front of him, he pulled out a used tampon, dropped it in the cup and said, "I'll just have my tea".

Wow.....that was gross....Lol

Then he went swimming, rode a bike and played tennis.

 

[Bootneck]

I wonder why they're called tampons. Surely they should be tampins.

 

[alan1]

I wonder why they're called tampons. Surely they should be tampins.

Just who has to tamp on them to get them in?

 

[Bootneck]

A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons. She notices a display of tampons stacked on a table in corner with a sign on them saying, "5 boxes for a dollar" The woman just couldn't believe this price so she asked the assistant if it was correct. He said, "Yes, five for a dollar." She said, "That can't be right!" Assistant says, "Yes, it's correct. See here? Five boxes for a dollar, no strings attached."

now i cant help but wonder...does bootneck know that there were and i guess still are tampons without strings...

Yes. They call them Scarlet Pimpernels. Once inserted, they seek it here. They seek it there. They seek that damned Scarlet Pimpernel everywhere.

 

[alan1]

Or this,

 

[alan1]

And this,

 

[alan1]

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's so much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ... so does she.

 

[Bootneck]

What did one tampon say to the other?
Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.

 

[Phoenix]

And just look what happens when I leave for the night.

 

[Big Black Dog]

Another tampon story...

A young lad was working as a stock boy at the local drug store. As he was stocking shelves, a lady who appeared to be around 30 years old approached him and asked if the drug store had any tampax.
The young lad, who had a slight hearing difficulty, thought she had asked for thumb tacks. He asked her, "Ma'am, do you want the kind you push in or drive in with a hammer?"

 

[Phoenix]

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the area--you could get anything there.

The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"

"Yes, I was a salesman in the country," said the lad.

The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up."

The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss arrived and asked, "How many sales did you make today?"

"One," said the young salesman.

"Only one?" blurted the boss. "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"

"Thirty-eight thousand, three hundred and thirty-four dollars," said the young man.

"How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.

"Well," said the salesman, "This man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a huge big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him a new SUV."

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?"

"No," answered the salesman. "He came in to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said to him, 'Your weekend's shot, you may as well go fishing.'"