Ill tell you a true story about one of my train rides. It doesnt involve any romance, just some international intrigue.
I was 19 years old and stationed in Germany in a US Army infantry unit. Me and 2 of my buddies (Smitty and Barry) were going to a concert in Nuremburg. Jethro Tull and Neil Young were both playing as headliners along with a few other lesser known bands. We just knew were going to have a great time. We took a train to Nuremburg early that morning and arrived a few hours before the show. As I recall, it was May. The weather was excellent for an outdoor concert, and we did have a great time. Barry and I got stoned on hash and Jack Daniels. Smitty didnt smoke and only stuck to the Jack.
The concert ended about 11:00 or 12:00 at night and all 3 of us were pretty trashed by the time it was over. It took us a couple hours to make our way back to the train station and get a train ride back to our base. We boarded the train about 2:00 am, wed be back about 3:30 am. I was all partied out, drunk and stoned for the ride back. I passed out on the train ride.
I was rudely awakened by somebody shouting at me. So were Barry and Smitty. Seems all of us had passed out. I had picked up some of the German language in the past year, and I didnt understand a single word this guy was saying. The train was stopped and the man was wearing a uniform. He was pretty gruff with us, shouting, demanding from his tone of voice, and none of us could understand what the hell he was saying. Smitty asked him if he spoke English and the guy didnt understand him. I tried my weak German on him, and he didnt understand me either. Barry was fluent French and tried that.
Hell yeah, the guy knew some French. Not as well as Barry did, but at least we could communicate now. He was the conductor of the train, he wanted to see our tickets. (Why the fuck doesnt a German train conductor know the German language?) Hey, no problem, we had tickets. About this time, I noticed that it was daylight outside. We had obviously passed our intended 3:30 am arrival time. We showed the man our tickets and he got all gruff with us again. Our tickets werent good anymore; we were way past our intended destination. He kicked us off the train. My watch said it was 8:30 am.
The good thing about German train stations is that even the smallest of them have a sign that states what city or town you are in, and its usually in multiple languages unless you are in podunckville. Fuck, we were in total podunckville because this sign was only in one language. Not only that, but there was only one rail. Not only that, but the ticket counter was a 10x10 shack.
We knew we were going to have to buy new tickets to get back, and we had no clue where we were at. The town name on the sign was unknown to us. We went to the ticket counter(shack) to purchase new tickets to get back to the post. Damn, even the ticket agent didnt speak German. Realization sunk in. We werent in Germany anymore. The ticket agent didnt speak German, didnt speak English and didnt speak French. We were fucked. We had no clue where we were and we had no way to buy a ticket home.
There was a single dirt road in and out of the train station, and we could see a small town about half a mile away. We decided to walk to town and get some breakfast and see if we could find somebody to help us out. We found a small restaurant and before we sat down we tried to talk to the lady that greeted us. She didnt understand us and we couldnt understand her. The cook came out and again, none of us could understand each other. The cook disappeared for a bit, then returned with a young girl about 12 years old. Lucky us, she spoke some English, not very well, but at least we could communicate with somebody.
It was a family restaurant, the lady that greeted us and the cook were married and owned the place. The young girl was their daughter. We had German marks and US dollars as currency, neither of which was acceptable as legal tender in Czechoslovakia.
HOLY FUCKING CRAP!
We were in Czechoslovakia, a communist country. This was 1982, the cold war between the US and communism was extremely active and we were 3 US soldiers in a communist country. This was an international incident with potentially severe repercussions. 3 US Army soldiers had crossed the border from Germany to Czechoslovakia. Sure, it was accidental, but do you think anybody would really care about that minor detail. We needed to get the heck out of this country right now.
The young girl told us that they would feed us breakfast at no charge. She said they were honored to meet Americans. We couldnt understand any of the conversation between her and her parents and she did her best to translate, but like I said, her English wasnt very good. We were paranoid since we were in a vulnerable position. We declined the offer for breakfast and asked for assistance getting train tickets back to Germany. We just wanted to get the hell out of there before we became an international incident.
The girl and her father gave us ride back to the train station and negotiated with the ticket agent to secure us a trip to Germany. The ticket agent gave us each a hand written note. The girl told us the note was for anybody in Czechoslovakia that would question us, that we were paid for (Im guessing bribe money). They wouldnt accept any payment from us for the help they gave.
When the train arrived at the border of Czechoslovakia and Germany, it stopped. 2 men, one Czechoslovakian, one German, visited every passenger to see tickets (why didnt this happen before we crossed into Czechoslovakia?). We showed our tickets and produced the notes we had from the Czechoslovakian ticket agent. The two men debated for a few minutes, and then moved on.
We managed to get back into Germany without causing any sort of international incident. Individuals are beautiful people, collectives suck.