A lot of people consider the marriage certificate to be a property-sharing agreement. A lot of women, and men, get a house, a new car, and an allowance of thousands of dollars a month, all for the simple reason that they hooked up with someone who has money. Some people will not settle for a regular person. They want a rich one. Beauty, a depreciating asset, is the only thing some people bring to the table and when it has outlived its usefulness, the promises made fall by the wayside. In such cases was the marriage legitimate?
Consider a gay couple who have been together for 30+ years, monogamously of course, who desire the same protections that marriage offers to straight people, such as if one partner dies, the other partner is not entitled to bereavement leave from work, to file wrongful death claims, to draw the Social Security of the deceased partner, or to automatically inherit a shared home, assets, or personal items if they are not married. Unmarried couples are denied the automatic right to joint parenting, joint adoption, joint foster care, and visitation for non-biological parents. In addition, the children of unmarried couples are denied the guarantee of child support and an automatic legal relationship to both parents, and are sometimes sent a wrongheaded but real negative message about their own status and family.
What does marriage mean to the likes of you?
Friend... 35 years ago, I married the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I literally fell in love with her, the moment I saw her. Which is made all the more odd, given that at the time, I was holding the hand of my girl friend, who I'd been 'steady' with for a well over a year.
We married 5 years later... and spent the next two years in bliss.
The four subsequent years were hell on earth... we separated and I was presented with divorce papers several times. But I would not sign them.
Now in that time, there's been times when she's hated my guts and I've hated that I was forced to breath the same air as her. We've been cruel to one another, said things that we fully meant at the time, on the surface... but neither of us could let the other go.
Our marriage is built around that... we're a man and a woman, doing the best we can on this journey. We've been flush with cash and broke as a stick. We've lived all over these United States and raised three children; homeschooling them for most of their respective schooling. And had more experiences, good and bad, than I could ever recount here... .
So, I know something about the subject... Count me as an expert of understanding the marriage thing.
With that said, I don't reject anyone happiness or the pursuit of such for themselves.
But just as I will not be starting as a running back for Miami next week, homosexuals will not be married.
Because neither of us meet the respective standards...
Would I like to be the starting back. you bet. But I don't really want to try... because doing what I would have to do to EVEN BE CONSIDERED: it hurts... A LOT. And I'm not willing to pay that price.
And the same for the homosexual that wants to be married. To be such, they'd have to marry someone that they're not sexually attracted to. They don't want to pay that price.
The difference between us, is that I am not so pathetic that I will sue to force the NFL to let me suit up... . What's more, is that I understand that if I did... and IF I prevailed... that others would follow me and it would be no time at all before the NFL was no longer a legitimate enterprise. And everything that I sought to gain from 'being' a professional linebacker, would evaporate.
Marriage is what it is, and the legitimacy intrinsic to such, comes from the standards that define it. Strip Marriage of those standards and marriage ceases to be... .
So... I don't know if that helps you see how I see it, but that's probably as close as I'm going to be able to get.