The Atheist in the Woods

[ChemEngineer]

An atheist was walking through the woods.

"What majestic trees!"

"What powerful rivers!"

"What beautiful animals!"

He said to himself.

Suddenly, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look . . . and saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could along the path.

He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing on him ....He looked over his shoulder again,

and the bear was even closer ....and then ..... he tripped and fell.

Rolling over to pick himself up, he found the bear was right on top of him ...reaching towards him with its left paw ...and raising the right paw to strike ...

At that instant the Atheist cried out,

"Oh my God!"

Time Stopped ...

The bear froze .....

The forest was silent ....

A bright light shone upon the man, and a voice came out of the sky ...

"You deny my existence for all these years, you teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident ....Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?"

"Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light ...."It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now ...but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"
... a pause ...

"Very well," said the voice ...

The light went out.

The sounds of the forest resumed ...

And the bear dropped his right arm ....

brought both paws together ....

bowed his head & spoke ...

"Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive…"

 

[LuckyDuck]

Idiotic post.
As an Atheist, I spent an entire career in the military. I've been shot at, stabbed and according to the docs, died twice, only to be brought back and NOT ONCE have I ever called out to or suddenly believed in any invisible all-powerful thingy. Oh, and during the times when I was supposedly deceased, there was no hell, nor a heaven. When you are gone, you're just gone. I came away from those experiences with the attitude that "being dead is no big deal."
Contrary to the lie that, "There are no Atheists in the foxholes," True Atheists don't invoke mythical deities when confronted with danger or death.

 

[rightwinger]

A Christian was walking through the woods admiring the wonders of God

Suddenly, a Grizzly Bear attacked and started to chase him
Jesus Save Me he cried

Right before the bear ate him

 

[Ringtone]

Idiotic post.
As an Atheist, I spent an entire career in the military. I've been shot at, stabbed and according to the docs, died twice, only to be brought back and NOT ONCE have I ever called out to or suddenly believed in any invisible all-powerful thingy. Oh, and during the times when I was supposedly deceased, there was no hell, nor a heaven. When you are gone, you're just gone. I came away from those experiences with the attitude that "being dead is no big deal."
Contrary to the lie that, "There are no Atheists in the foxholes," True Atheists don't invoke mythical deities when confronted with danger or death.

Nonsense. You know God exists. Stop lying.

 

[MisterBeale]

internet atheist

Urban Dictionary: internet atheist

Typically an angry teenager or other power inhibited individual who thinks that all religion across the globe is either Islamic Terrorist or American Christian Fundamentalist and that their arguments are sound because they have watched a Dawkins video online. They take special pleasure in...

www.urbandictionary.com

"Typically an angry teenager or other power inhibited individual who thinks that all religion across the globe is either Islamic Terrorist or American Christian Fundamentalist and that their arguments are sound because they have watched a Dawkins video online. They take special pleasure in assuming that people with a faith are either deeply offended or will change their life due to anonymous comment based "wisdom".
I wear Internet Atheist t-shirts that try offend old women because I want the world to be free of things that offend me. I am just that devoted. Now go away, I'm playing Skyrim."

 

[ChemEngineer]

Idiotic post.
As an Atheist, I spent an entire career in the military. I've been shot at, stabbed and according to the docs, died twice, only to be brought back and NOT ONCE have I ever called out to or suddenly believed in any invisible all-powerful thingy. Oh, and during the times when I was supposedly deceased, there was no hell, nor a heaven. When you are gone, you're just gone. I came away from those experiences with the attitude that "being dead is no big deal."
Contrary to the lie that, "There are no Atheists in the foxholes," True Atheists don't invoke mythical deities when confronted with danger or death.

There are not a few people who also died and came back to tell the tale. A ten-year-old boy was interviewed by a psychiatrist who tried to explain that the boy had a hallucination. The little boy patted the M.D. on the hand and wisely responded, "You'll see, doctor. You'll see."

A Harvard professor appears on YouTube explaining his encounter with God most convincingly.
A medical doctor wrote a book called, I believe, Life After Life.
She relates one medical encounter after another that can ONLY be explained by spiritual life.

If your nihilistic beliefs are so rational, so logical, so intellectual, then WHY do atheists abandon their childhood training at a far higher rate than any other religion?

The graph from Pew Research is here, on the first page:

Let's Examine Claims of Atheists

AreAtheistsRight.blogspot.com

You'll be very sorry for your angry, hateful, condescending atheism, but it'll be too late.
Every Christian will be sad you made the choice you did. Too bad.

 

[rightwinger]

Bears like Christians more than atheists

They taste like chicken

 

[ChemEngineer]

The Norwegian Wharf Rat Experiment

Decades ago, Curt Richter did experiments drowning rats. Pet rats were put in a jar of water and timed to see how long they would swim around before drowning. Forty to sixty hours was not unusual.

Then the good professor caught some wild rats of the same species and they drowned in fifteen minutes.

He modified his experiments to pull the rats out of the water just as they were going down the last time. Dried them off, fed them and rested them. Then back into the jar of water.

They swam days and days for one reason - hope, or in other words, faith that they would be rescued. This is what faith does for animals and of course for humans.

On the other hand, atheists have no hope, no faith. Nobody is going to rescue them (they think, they insist, they mock), and it makes them very angry and bitter. They choose resentment and bitterness over hope, over faith.

A Nobel Laureate in physics said over the door to the science lab it should be written, all who enter must have faith. It is the one indispensable quality of every scientist.