Ted Cruz Jokes!

DrLove

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Add yours! :lol:

“If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody would convict you,” Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC)

President of Mexico: "When Texas sends its people here, they’re not bringing their best. They're bringing seditionists. They're bringing deserters. They're bringing Ted Cruz."

Texas state Rep. Chris Turner to CNN on Ted Cruz: "As far as I'm concerned, it would be fine if he remained in Cancun. He doesn't do anything for us in Texas or in Washington, so I don't know that we're gonna notice when he comes back."

We have Donald Trump and Ted Cruz and Lindsey Graham all running for president. It's all part of the Republican plan to make Jeb Bush look presidential.―David Letterman

We are actually headed toward a government shutdown, but if that's what it takes to get Ted Cruz off my TV, I am all for it.―Bill Maher

So to express your opposition to Obamacare, you go to the book about a stubborn jerk who decides he hates something before he’s tried it, and when he finally gets a taste, he has to admit after he's tasted it, 'This is pretty ******* good.'―Jon Stewart

Ted Cruz was "widely loathed" in college. Being loathed is his "superpower."―Craig Mazin, who roomed with Cruz when they were college freshmen

There are only two kinds of people. People who don't like Ted Cruz - - - and Ted Cruz







ted-cruz-bar-joke-56a92abe3df78cf772a464ac.jpg


ted-cruz-trust-56c424af3df78c0b1399fa90.jpg


cruz-college-roommate-5710271f3df78c3fa23d2964.jpg
 
Cruz is so undesirable as a Presidential candidate that, given what has been offered in recent elections, he is almost certain to run and win.
 
Add yours! :lol:

“If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody would convict you,” Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC)

President of Mexico: "When Texas sends its people here, they’re not bringing their best. They're bringing seditionists. They're bringing deserters. They're bringing Ted Cruz."

Texas state Rep. Chris Turner to CNN on Ted Cruz: "As far as I'm concerned, it would be fine if he remained in Cancun. He doesn't do anything for us in Texas or in Washington, so I don't know that we're gonna notice when he comes back."

We have Donald Trump and Ted Cruz and Lindsey Graham all running for president. It's all part of the Republican plan to make Jeb Bush look presidential.―David Letterman

We are actually headed toward a government shutdown, but if that's what it takes to get Ted Cruz off my TV, I am all for it.―Bill Maher

So to express your opposition to Obamacare, you go to the book about a stubborn jerk who decides he hates something before he’s tried it, and when he finally gets a taste, he has to admit after he's tasted it, 'This is pretty ******* good.'―Jon Stewart

Ted Cruz was "widely loathed" in college. Being loathed is his "superpower."―Craig Mazin, who roomed with Cruz when they were college freshmen

There are only two kinds of people. People who don't like Ted Cruz - - - and Ted Cruz







ted-cruz-bar-joke-56a92abe3df78cf772a464ac.jpg


ted-cruz-trust-56c424af3df78c0b1399fa90.jpg


cruz-college-roommate-5710271f3df78c3fa23d2964.jpg

And yet Beta Beto is hated even more.
 
There once was a senator from Texas

who was too cold to sit in his Lexus

so he fled to Cancun

but before soon

was blaming his daughters for his perplexus
 
Unless I am badly mistaken Ted Cruz is the only US Senator to both attempt to overthrow the government and flee the country while his constituents are dying in under 30 days.

That's gotta be some kinda record.
 
President of Mexico: "When Texas sends its people here, they’re not bringing their best. They're bringing seditionists. They're bringing deserters. They're bringing Ted Cruz."

:rofl:

What's do Texans want more than warmer weather?

---- Cruz Control.
 
Still, politicians in America successively succeed in exceeding the tolerable without ultimate penalty.
 
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