DrLove
Diamond Member
HEAVEN (The Borowitz Report)—In a rare utterance from beyond the grave, Susan B. Anthony on Tuesday begged Donald J. Trump not to pardon her, stating, “I don’t want to be on the same Wikipedia page as Roger Stone.”
Noting that an entire Wikipedia page had been created to record the people to whom Trump had granted executive clemency, Anthony said, “It wasn’t exactly my dream to wind up on the same list as a guy with a Nixon tattoo on his back.”
In a further expression of horror, Anthony told Trump, “Plus, pardoning me would mean that you would now be on my Wikipedia page. I am physically shuddering up here.”
Anthony noted that it was “super ironic” that Trump planned to pardon her on the same day that he blasted Michelle Obama. “It would be cool if you were as nice to historic women who are still alive as you are to dead ones,” she said.
Susan B. Anthony Begs Trump Not to Pardon Her: âI Donât Want to Be on a Wikipedia Page with Roger Stoneâ
From heaven, the suffragist said, “It wasn’t exactly my dream to wind up on the same list as a guy with a Nixon tattoo on his back.”
www.newyorker.com