Should House Guests Feel Responsible?

[Road Runner]

So, this is a current debate over at my house. A lot of the time I go over and spend the weekend at my fiancee's. Last weekend I made Christmas cookies for him and his family. I offered to help him with the dishes, but he told me that I was the guest so he would take care of it.


Now I'm being told that I should have done it anyways as well as pick up the cat poop after some of his kittens went to the bathroom in his room and that I would expect him to help out if he spent the night over my house. I say that both of those things are completely ridiculous and a house guest shouldn't have to feel responsible at all unless they actually volunteer to help out due to the kindness of their hearts.


And truth be told his kittens are cute and soft to touch but I still don't really like them that much and that's coming from a cat person. I tolerate them, I just don't like becoming a scratching post/chew toy especially when I'm trying to cook and or eat. Why should I be responsible for animals that aren't mine and I don't really like all that much anyways?

 

[okfine]

 

[Indeependent]

So, this is a current debate over at my house. A lot of the time I go over and spend the weekend at my fiancee's. Last weekend I made Christmas cookies for him and his family. I offered to help him with the dishes, but he told me that I was the guest so he would take care of it.


Now I'm being told that I should have done it anyways as well as pick up the cat poop after some of his kittens went to the bathroom in his room and that I would expect him to help out if he spent the night over my house. I say that both of those things are completely ridiculous and a house guest shouldn't have to feel responsible at all unless they actually volunteer to help out due to the kindness of their hearts.


And truth be told his kittens are cute and soft to touch but I still don't really like them that much and that's coming from a cat person. I tolerate them, I just don't like becoming a scratching post/chew toy especially when I'm trying to cook and or eat. Why should I be responsible for animals that aren't mine and I don't really like all that much anyways?

My wife and I help out.

 

[Ralph Norton]

pick up the cat poop after some of his kittens went to the bathroom in his room

No, a thousand times no.

 

[Natural Citizen]

So, this is a current debate over at my house. A lot of the time I go over and spend the weekend at my fiancee's. Last weekend I made Christmas cookies for him and his family. I offered to help him with the dishes, but he told me that I was the guest so he would take care of it.


Now I'm being told that I should have done it anyways as well as pick up the cat poop after some of his kittens went to the bathroom in his room and that I would expect him to help out if he spent the night over my house. I say that both of those things are completely ridiculous and a house guest shouldn't have to feel responsible at all unless they actually volunteer to help out due to the kindness of their hearts.


And truth be told his kittens are cute and soft to touch but I still don't really like them that much and that's coming from a cat person. I tolerate them, I just don't like becoming a scratching post/chew toy especially when I'm trying to cook and or eat. Why should I be responsible for animals that aren't mine and I don't really like all that much anyways?

Just do what you're told and don't backsass and things will run smoothly.

 

[Road Runner]

My wife and I help out.

Help out where? It's one thing to help out each other especially at your own home out of being gracious, but it's another thing to expect it at somebody else's household and I'm talking about that street goes both ways whether I have a visitor or I'm doing the visiting.

 

[Dogmaphobe]

Just think - if he expects you to pick up cat shit when it's his own freaking cats, what will he expect you to do AFTER you're married?

 

[Road Runner]

Just do what you're told and don't backsass.

Umm how is that working with the Democrats? I'm not a child either. So I don't have to just take orders like that.

 

[Indeependent]

Help out where? It's one thing to help out each other especially at your own home out of being gracious, but it's another thing to expect it at somebody else's household and I'm talking about that street goes both ways whether I have a visitor or I'm doing the visiting.

I do the dishes, sweep and whatever else I can do.
I’m one of those conciencious, Conservative fools.

 

[Road Runner]

Just think - if he expects you to pick up cat shit when it's his own freaking cats, what will he expect you to do AFTER you're married?

He wasn't the one who said it though. It was another family member.

 

[Road Runner]

I do the dishes, sweep and whatever else I can do.
I’m one of those conciencious, Conservative fools.

Good for you but is this at your own house?

 

[Indeependent]

He wasn't the one who said it though. It was another family member.

You left that part out.

 

[Natural Citizen]

Umm how is that working with the Democrats? I'm not a child either. So I don't have to just take orders like that.

Oh, I dunno about how things are going with the Democrats.

None of this backsassing stuff started until we let you all have shoes, though.

That's all I know.

 

[Hellokitty]

At your finance's house you should be viewed as family and not a guest, and in such situations you don't offer to help with dishes you just pick up a towel, clear table or do whatever needs to be done.

 

[Indeependent]

Good for you but is this at your own house?

Nope; I am like this at the house of any host because I know how hard it is to have guests.

 

[Road Runner]

You left that part out.

I just thought you would have assumed that when we don't live together yet.

 

[Dogmaphobe]

He wasn't the one who said it though. It was another family member.

Well, then, you should practice a little two word phrase I like to use in times such as these

The second word is "off".

 

[Road Runner]

Well, then, you should practice a little two word phrase I like to use in times such as these

The second word is "off".

Funny, but I don't like talking like that towards my loved ones.

At your finance's house you should be viewed as family and not a guest, and in such situations you don't offer to help with dishes you just pick up a towel, clear table or do whatever needs to be done.

I would help with the dishes before I'd touch a cat turd.

 

[DudleySmith]

Cat poop? No. But we usually help out, unless they have kids old enough, then the kids should do the work. We always take a gift, like a pie or something else we know they like. Don't know many who drink but we take a brandy or wine to a couple of friends when we go for supper or cards.

 

[Road Runner]

Cat poop? No. But we usually help out, unless they have kids old enough, then the kids should do the work. We always take a gift, like a pie or something else we know they like.

Yeah I always take something to make and or eat as well. Again I repeat offering your help out of kindness is a whole lot different than it being expected out of you.