Saturday night sex thread

Barb said:
Lumpy seems to have abdicated his responsibility, so I'll start.
What advice do the ladies and gentlemen at USMB have for a woman who has been out of circulation for 7 years (and untouched by human hands for nearly five) upon re-entry to the world?
Assume that she is:
dumb as a post
not in as much of a hurry as one would think
and this is important:
already well aware of the grooming required once that "special day" arrives.
Click to expand...

Get SLUTTY.

Go ahead, men like that in women. (well we also like virginal innocence too, but I assume you're past the time when you can pull that neat trick off)

Oh, a lot of us will claim that that's not true, of course.

But we're just trying to impress girls when we say that.

Well...that or we're basically afraid of women who like sex.

And yeah, women who really like sex (and aren't afraid to admit it) are kinda scary even if the man IS experienced.

Remember that we can't really fake it, so that whole performance issue is very real for us. (unless we're completely selfish assholes which I have been informed by various GFs is a very real possibility)

But some of us (most of us I hope) will grit our teeth, gird our loins, and do our damnest to live down to your (usually completely absurd) expectations anyway.

YOu know the angels must laugh like hell at the mental and physical contortions we put ourselves through to be sexual beings.


Cause if you don't have a sex drive, ya gotta admit the whole thing does seem rather silly.
 
Ain't it the truth----try as we may that animal in us can put our power to reason to shame :lol:
 
Why is this thread over here?? I never come to arts and crafts.:eusa_eh:
 
okay i been giving this some thought....you want this gentleman to show up .....does he know this?

or is he expected to guess...have you simply picked up the phone and called...and said...honey come on over...i got a couple of steaks and a bottle of..whatever...

now you have gone a while without....so if things do progress...rock his world...show him some old fashioned rock and roll...with that said...dont be slutty and dont be easy.. and never be cheap lol

o i digress....but you cant wait for a man to make a move...they are just as baffled at 40 as they were at 16....you have to nudge them....after all nothing twitches on its own....
 
o and i just pmed you ...a way that never fails ......i hope it didnt offend you lol

we pagans have wee secrets
 
Cleopatra II said:
It is like what my grandmother told me, "Be a lady in the parlor, and a whore in the bedroom".
Click to expand...

What Cleopatra 11 couldn't wait till Saturday....mmmm I wonder how Dilloducks going to feel about this?
 
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what could it mean when

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