Then you think the terms "marriage" and "married" should be eliminated from all government documentation and replaced with 'civil union'.
I think, as stated before, that the marriage license should be replaced with the civil union and that governments, state or federal, should have no business defining what constitutes marriage. A civil union is purely legal and economic. Marriage, obviously, is not. Society gives marriage a different type of cultural and/or religious meaning.
The solution is to unlink the religious (or cultural) institution of marriage as distinguished from the secular institution of civil union from the state. Under this proposal, any couple could register for civil union, recognized by the state, with all its rights and responsibilities.
In this way, gay couples would win exactly the same rights as heterosexual couples in relationship to the state. They would still have to persuade individual churches of their point of view, but that is not the concern of the secular state. Let each couple decide whether they want to receive the sacrament of marriage or the secular status of civil union, or both.