odanny
Diamond Member
This movie shows regression on a level that is probably proportional to everything else happening these days. This one promises to be a CGI and DEI love fest. This should easily be worse than the Tom Cruise Top Gun Maverick sequel was. I found that one unwatchable from the very beginning.
Youāll know exactly when āGladiator IIā jumps the shark. Itās the scene involving an actual shark.
There are bad movies that are entertaining and bad movies that are a drag, and I wish I could tell you which one this unasked-for sequel to the best-picture-winning 2000 film is. The truth is, itās both.
Set 16 years after āGladiatorā and featuring whichever of the original cast arenāt dead or unbribable, the new film has all the opulence of the first film but none of the majesty. Itās an epic without a purpose and therefore fine for a lazy Sunday streaming in a few months. After that, āGladiator IIā will find its true purpose playing on multiple screens in the TV aisle at Costco.
Ridley Scott, whose recent career has consisted of turning over the bones of his earlier hits, has mounted this production with flair, a grandiose digital re-creation of ancient Rome and a disregard for historical accuracy that is at times hilarious. When one character sits down at a sidewalk cafe to read the nonexistent Daily Papyrus over his morning coffee ā a beverage that wonāt arrive in Europe for another 1,500 years ā the only response is an indulgent horselaugh and disappointment that they didnāt just go ahead and give him an iPad.
You want to know about the plot? There is one. Two or three, actually. Where the first āGladiatorā contented itself with a fairly simple narrative line ā muscular hero rises to fame and defeats decadent emperor ā āGladiator IIā dives deeper into the civic strife and internecine politics of 3rd-century Rome.
The main story concerns Hanno (Paul Mescal), a mysterious European who, when the film begins, is captain of the guards in the African kingdom of Numidia. After a splendidly noisy opening assault by the massive CGI navy of Rome, Hanno and his fellow prisoners are taken to the Imperial City, where his mettle as an arena fighter ā against the most ridiculous giant baboon an army of digital rendering technicians can conjure ā attracts the attention of the ambitious Macrinus (Denzel Washington), as well as the curiosity of the young twin emperors Geta (Joseph Quinn) and Caracalla (Fred Hechinger), the former shrewd and nasty and the latter an idiot devoted to his pet monkey.
Hanno only wants revenge against the general who conquered Numidia and killed his warrior wife (Yuval Gonen). Said general, Marcus Acacius (Pedro Pascal), is a noble dude whoās plotting a coup and a return of the Republic with his wife, Lucilla (Connie Nielsen, reprising her role from the first film), daughter of the late Marcus Aurelius. Still with me?
With Nielsen the only woman of substance in the movie, āGladiator IIā is manly-man stuff, with much sweaty heaving and clashing of vorpal swords. The battle scenes are muscular and enjoyably stupid, and they pit the unlucky gladiators against (a) the aforementioned baboons, (b) a man on a giant rhinoceros and (c) those sharks, which feature in a re-creation of a naval battle that fills the Colosseum like a watertight hot tub with teeth.
At nearly 2Ā½ hours, the movie is fun to watch until itās not, and then it becomes a chore. One problem is the dreadful dialogue by David Scarpa (āNapoleonā) and Peter Craig (āTop Gun: Maverickā) ā hollow declamations that lack the zing of the first āGladiatorā and speeches about freedom and liberty that sound like they were written by AI. A further problem is Mescal in the lead, a gifted but internal performer who has pumped up impressively for this show but whose Hanno lacks the charismatic bulk of Russell Croweās Maximus from the first film. Itās signaled early on that the characterās real name is Lucius and that his connection to Maximus is more than tenuous, but the part needs a star, and Mescal is simply an excellent actor.
Youāll know exactly when āGladiator IIā jumps the shark. Itās the scene involving an actual shark.
There are bad movies that are entertaining and bad movies that are a drag, and I wish I could tell you which one this unasked-for sequel to the best-picture-winning 2000 film is. The truth is, itās both.
Set 16 years after āGladiatorā and featuring whichever of the original cast arenāt dead or unbribable, the new film has all the opulence of the first film but none of the majesty. Itās an epic without a purpose and therefore fine for a lazy Sunday streaming in a few months. After that, āGladiator IIā will find its true purpose playing on multiple screens in the TV aisle at Costco.
Ridley Scott, whose recent career has consisted of turning over the bones of his earlier hits, has mounted this production with flair, a grandiose digital re-creation of ancient Rome and a disregard for historical accuracy that is at times hilarious. When one character sits down at a sidewalk cafe to read the nonexistent Daily Papyrus over his morning coffee ā a beverage that wonāt arrive in Europe for another 1,500 years ā the only response is an indulgent horselaugh and disappointment that they didnāt just go ahead and give him an iPad.
You want to know about the plot? There is one. Two or three, actually. Where the first āGladiatorā contented itself with a fairly simple narrative line ā muscular hero rises to fame and defeats decadent emperor ā āGladiator IIā dives deeper into the civic strife and internecine politics of 3rd-century Rome.
The main story concerns Hanno (Paul Mescal), a mysterious European who, when the film begins, is captain of the guards in the African kingdom of Numidia. After a splendidly noisy opening assault by the massive CGI navy of Rome, Hanno and his fellow prisoners are taken to the Imperial City, where his mettle as an arena fighter ā against the most ridiculous giant baboon an army of digital rendering technicians can conjure ā attracts the attention of the ambitious Macrinus (Denzel Washington), as well as the curiosity of the young twin emperors Geta (Joseph Quinn) and Caracalla (Fred Hechinger), the former shrewd and nasty and the latter an idiot devoted to his pet monkey.
Hanno only wants revenge against the general who conquered Numidia and killed his warrior wife (Yuval Gonen). Said general, Marcus Acacius (Pedro Pascal), is a noble dude whoās plotting a coup and a return of the Republic with his wife, Lucilla (Connie Nielsen, reprising her role from the first film), daughter of the late Marcus Aurelius. Still with me?
With Nielsen the only woman of substance in the movie, āGladiator IIā is manly-man stuff, with much sweaty heaving and clashing of vorpal swords. The battle scenes are muscular and enjoyably stupid, and they pit the unlucky gladiators against (a) the aforementioned baboons, (b) a man on a giant rhinoceros and (c) those sharks, which feature in a re-creation of a naval battle that fills the Colosseum like a watertight hot tub with teeth.
At nearly 2Ā½ hours, the movie is fun to watch until itās not, and then it becomes a chore. One problem is the dreadful dialogue by David Scarpa (āNapoleonā) and Peter Craig (āTop Gun: Maverickā) ā hollow declamations that lack the zing of the first āGladiatorā and speeches about freedom and liberty that sound like they were written by AI. A further problem is Mescal in the lead, a gifted but internal performer who has pumped up impressively for this show but whose Hanno lacks the charismatic bulk of Russell Croweās Maximus from the first film. Itās signaled early on that the characterās real name is Lucius and that his connection to Maximus is more than tenuous, but the part needs a star, and Mescal is simply an excellent actor.
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