Responsibility of legal guardians

[dilloduck]

Put this here becuase we don't have a law forum---it might be a good idea and help untangle some threads.

My question is, what good is it to have a living will (which is being constantly advised these days)? If the legal guardian can choose to ignore it for years and even act in a manner that is in direct violation of this will, what purpose do they serve other than to take up space in a file cabinet or hard drive?

 

[Joz]

Not only this will but any will. What is the purpose if someone can come along & contest it? Keeps the state from getting your possessions but legal fees can take it all.

 

[dilloduck]

Not only this will but any will. What is the purpose if someone can come along & contest it? Keeps the state from getting your possessions but legal fees can take it all.

YA--frickin lawyers always skim theirs right off the top!

 

[Joz]

YA--frickin lawyers always skim theirs right off the top!

Lawyers will always be in business. No more handshakes anymore. With any family member able to contest a will, who's to say they couldn't step in with a living will also?

 

[dilloduck]

Lawyers will always be in business. No more handshakes anymore. With any family member able to contest a will, who's to say they couldn't step in with a living will also?

They already have Joz-----just another legal scam--nothing is a guarantee

 

[Joz]

They already have Joz-----just another legal scam--nothing is a guarantee

So, why bother? Why pad their pockets? You think you've got everything taken care of to ease the burden off your family and then POW!

 

[dilloduck]

So, why bother? Why pad their pockets? You think you've got everything taken care of to ease the burden off your family and then POW!

Thats what I'm learning thru experiance------they are like the pope-----you gotta go through them to get "justice"

 

[Joz]

Thats what I'm learning thru experiance------they are like the pope-----you gotta go through them to get "justice"

So, are you saying the Pope is a blood-sucking leech?

 

[dilloduck]

So, are you saying the Pope is a blood-sucking leech?

WHOAAAAAAAAA i didn't go THAT far

you just have to have a lawyers assistance to access the legal arena--justice costs !!

 

[Annie]

Not only this will but any will. What is the purpose if someone can come along & contest it? Keeps the state from getting your possessions but legal fees can take it all.

Not that easy to challenge a bonafide will. Now the living will is a bit different. None of us are God, we haven't a clue as to what may happen, in what circumstances, when, or what medical science will have found by the time it happens. You go to set one up tomorrow, with Terri in mind, but you can't know how you'll feel 30 years down the road.

From what I've dealt with, your best choice is a 'durable power of attorney.' We had this for my mom and also have it for my dad. Both my brother and I have 'power of attorney' regarding medical care. Each 'emergency' or 'incident' is dealt with after consulting with the doctor. My dad is golfing right now, he went to 9 am mass, he'll be coming home for dinner with my daughter and myself in a couple of hours. He's 84 years old. He saw my mom basically go from a vibrant, brilliant person to a sixty-some dependent person that had to enter a nursing home, for hers and our sakes. He does NOT want 'heroic measures' to prolong his life.

Last July, suddenly he was having trouble breathing and felt like he was going to pass out. I rushed him to the hospital. His heart rate had fallen to 30 something. It was a 'big emergency.' A similar episode had occured the previous Spring. At the time of the first one, the attending physician said he had an infection. They put him on IV anti-biotics. He seemed better.

Then in July, took him to our 'regular hospital.' They admitted him to intensive care. The next day a cardiologist came and said he needed a pacemaker. My dad's first reaction was, "No." We listened some more. It was explained to us: my dad, brother and myself that he would be an 'excellent candidate' for an 'electro-shock pacemaker' which would not only regulate his heart rhythm, but shock the heart if he had a heart attack. Downside, there could be a 'declining quality of life', while prolonged. We chose to have a non-shock pacemaker implanted. It allows my dad to carry on with his life, but will not 'bring him back', if the situation arises.

 

[dilloduck]

Not that easy to challenge a bonafide will. Now the living will is a bit different. None of us are God, we haven't a clue as to what may happen, in what circumstances, when, or what medical science will have found by the time it happens. You go to set one up tomorrow, with Terri in mind, but you can't know how you'll feel 30 years down the road.

From what I've dealt with, your best choice is a 'durable power of attorney.' We had this for my mom and also have it for my dad. Both my brother and I have 'power of attorney' regarding medical care. Each 'emergency' or 'incident' is dealt with after consulting with the doctor. My dad is golfing right now, he went to 9 am mass, he'll be coming home for dinner with my daughter and myself in a couple of hours. He's 84 years old. He saw my mom basically go from a vibrant, brilliant person to a sixty-some dependent person that had to enter a nursing home, for hers and our sakes. He does NOT want 'heroic measures' to prolong his life.

Last July, suddenly he was having trouble breathing and felt like he was going to pass out. I rushed him to the hospital. His heart rate had fallen to 30 something. It was a 'big emergency.' A similar episode had occured the previous Spring. At the time of the first one, the attending physician said he had an infection. They put him on IV anti-biotics. He seemed better.

Then in July, took him to our 'regular hospital.' They admitted him to intensive care. The next day a cardiologist came and said he needed a pacemaker. My dad's first reaction was, "No." We listened some more. It was explained to us: my dad, brother and myself that he would be an 'excellent candidate' for an 'electro-shock pacemaker' which would not only regulate his heart rhythm, but shock the heart if he had a heart attack. Downside, there could be a 'declining quality of life', while prolonged. We chose to have a non-shock pacemaker implanted. It allows my dad to carry on with his life, but will not 'bring him back', if the situation arises.

ie-----living wills may be worthless unless everyone agrees anyway

 

[dilloduck]

So, why bother? Why pad their pockets? You think you've got everything taken care of to ease the burden off your family and then POW!

I just can't see how we can say our system of justice is so fair when money plays such a large role in ones access to the courts.

 

[Annie]

So, why bother? Why pad their pockets? You think you've got everything taken care of to ease the burden off your family and then POW!

I hear you. It's the reason I wrote on the "Durable power of attorney." Any hospital will give you this, at least in Illinois. My dad resigns this every year. No lawyers, just have to make sure you have doctors that are willing to speak to the patient, when able, and those with the power of attorney for medical decisions.

 

[dilloduck]

I hear you. It's the reason I wrote on the "Durable power of attorney." Any hospital will give you this, at least in Illinois. My dad resigns this every year. No lawyers, just have to make sure you have doctors that are willing to speak to the patient, when able, and those with the power of attorney for medical decisions.

What happens if you and your brother come to something neither one of you will compromise on?

 

[Joz]

My dad resigns this every year. .

Keeping it up to date may be the key. But with my mother, it's a no-go. Sis-law has P.o.A. She knows that when it's time.....to let it happen.

 

[Annie]

It's unlikely that my bro and I would disagree, we both understand what my dad is looking for. Our first conversations about this and the first forms signed, were at the time of my mom's first stroke, 11 years before she died. My dad signed off on while she was being cared for. My mom, who pretty much recovered from the first stroke, signed hers less than a year later.

This made it possible to go along with her deciding at times to refuse food, though she never refused water. In the last months it allowed her body to fight infections or not, without anti-biotics. These were heart wrenching decisions, we never would have 'pulled' an IV for hydration or food, but that never came to pass. There was no reason to add a tube for food, as death was imminent, which has not been the case with Terri.

 

[dilloduck]

It's unlikely that my bro and I would disagree, we both understand what my dad is looking for. Our first conversations about this and the first forms signed, were at the time of my mom's first stroke, 11 years before she died. My dad signed off on while she was being cared for. My mom, who pretty much recovered from the first stroke, signed hers less than a year later.

This made it possible to go along with her deciding at times to refuse food, though she never refused water. In the last months it allowed her body to fight infections or not, without anti-biotics. These were heart wrenching decisions, we never would have 'pulled' an IV for hydration or food, but that never came to pass. There was no reason to add a tube for food, as death was imminent, which has not been the case with Terri.

While it sounds like a great idea, unforunately it appears vulnerable to law suits also .

 

[pegwinn]

I believe that a will or other communication of my wishes that demonstrates what I want and that I am not out of my mind should supercede the guardian.

I don't believe you should be able to contest the contents of the will or the directions. At best you can contest the state of mind of the writer. IF found to be nuts, then the judge decides who gets what, not the petitioner.

Just my two cents.

 

[Annie]

I believe that a will or other communication of my wishes that demonstrates what I want and that I am not out of my mind should supercede the guardian.

I don't believe you should be able to contest the contents of the will or the directions. At best you can contest the state of mind of the writer. IF found to be nuts, then the judge decides who gets what, not the petitioner.

Just my two cents.

Pegwinn, I agree. Unfortunately there is a long history of living wills, not 'money wills' being ignored or successfully fought. Doctors often disagree with living will, saying, 'the conditions are not as anticipated', most often the doctor is upheld. The doctor may well be right, too often the living will anticipates things that do not come to pass, but conditions arise that were not anticipated. That is why something more immediate may be better.

 

[SmarterThanYou]

seems I tried to argue that if living wills were made mandatory we'd be doing this anyway when the first family member challenges whats in it......but I was told that future legal arguments would be assinine.