dilloduck
Diamond Member
Why did the chicken cross the road?
> JOHN KERRY The chicken intentionally mislead us into letting it cross
> the road. I actually did vote for the chicken to cross the road, before
> I voted against it. The chicken should have given the UN more time to
> inspect the other side of the road before pre-emptively crossing it. I
> will make sure that the chicken does not have to bear the full burden of
> this unwarranted road crossing alone by enlisting the help of other
> chickens like France and Germany.
> GEORGE W BUSH It does not matter why the chicken crossed the road. We
> just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road. The chicken
> is either for us, or against us. Evil doer chickens will be hunted down
> on both sides of the road and anyone found harboring these chickens will
> be plucked.
> DAN RATHER An undisclosed but reliable capon has given me unverifiable
> documents that prove that the chicken got preferential treatment and was
> allowed to cross the road to avoid crossing the highway, and that the
> chicken went AWOL and did not satisfactorily complete it's road
> crossing. While I don't know which side of the road these documents came
> from and agree they are probably chicken scratch, I still believe the
> information in them is true and you should trust me because I'm Dan
> Rather and you're not.
> RALPH NADER The chicken's habitat on this side of the road has been
> polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the
> unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed
> by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
> PAT BUCHANAN To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
> RUSH LIMBAUGH I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it
> was getting a government grant to do it. I'll bet some chicken hugging
> liberal out there is already forming a support group to help chickens
> with crossing-the-road syndrome and wants taxpayers to foot the bill.
> MARTHA STEWART No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
> going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs
> when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
> insider information.
> DR SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
> Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
> told.
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die in the rain. Alone.
> MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR I envision a world where all chickens will be
> free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
> GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
> Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
> BARBARA WALTERS Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
> listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming
> story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
> accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
> JOHN LENNON Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
> together - in peace.
> ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
> KARL MARX Itwas an historic inevitability.
> CAPTAIN KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
> SIGMUND FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
> crossed the road reveals your underlying insecurity and attraction to
> poultry.
> BILL GATES I have just witnessed eChicken2005, which will not only cross
> roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
> your checkbook. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.
> ALBERT EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
> move beneath the chicken?
> BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. The answer
> depends on your definition of chicken.
> HILLARY CLINTON Even though I am the smartest woman in the world and
> know all there is to know about everything, I do not know anything about
> any chicken including the one allegedly found in my residence.
> AL GORE I invented the chicken!
> THE BIBLE And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken
> "THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD." And the chicken didst cross the road, and
> there was much rejoicing.
> COLONEL SANDERS Did I miss one?
>
>Are you still alive, or did you die laughing?!!!!!!
> JOHN KERRY The chicken intentionally mislead us into letting it cross
> the road. I actually did vote for the chicken to cross the road, before
> I voted against it. The chicken should have given the UN more time to
> inspect the other side of the road before pre-emptively crossing it. I
> will make sure that the chicken does not have to bear the full burden of
> this unwarranted road crossing alone by enlisting the help of other
> chickens like France and Germany.
> GEORGE W BUSH It does not matter why the chicken crossed the road. We
> just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road. The chicken
> is either for us, or against us. Evil doer chickens will be hunted down
> on both sides of the road and anyone found harboring these chickens will
> be plucked.
> DAN RATHER An undisclosed but reliable capon has given me unverifiable
> documents that prove that the chicken got preferential treatment and was
> allowed to cross the road to avoid crossing the highway, and that the
> chicken went AWOL and did not satisfactorily complete it's road
> crossing. While I don't know which side of the road these documents came
> from and agree they are probably chicken scratch, I still believe the
> information in them is true and you should trust me because I'm Dan
> Rather and you're not.
> RALPH NADER The chicken's habitat on this side of the road has been
> polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the
> unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed
> by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
> PAT BUCHANAN To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
> RUSH LIMBAUGH I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it
> was getting a government grant to do it. I'll bet some chicken hugging
> liberal out there is already forming a support group to help chickens
> with crossing-the-road syndrome and wants taxpayers to foot the bill.
> MARTHA STEWART No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
> going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs
> when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
> insider information.
> DR SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
> Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
> told.
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die in the rain. Alone.
> MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR I envision a world where all chickens will be
> free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
> GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
> Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
> BARBARA WALTERS Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
> listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming
> story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
> accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
> JOHN LENNON Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
> together - in peace.
> ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
> KARL MARX Itwas an historic inevitability.
> CAPTAIN KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
> SIGMUND FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
> crossed the road reveals your underlying insecurity and attraction to
> poultry.
> BILL GATES I have just witnessed eChicken2005, which will not only cross
> roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
> your checkbook. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.
> ALBERT EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
> move beneath the chicken?
> BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. The answer
> depends on your definition of chicken.
> HILLARY CLINTON Even though I am the smartest woman in the world and
> know all there is to know about everything, I do not know anything about
> any chicken including the one allegedly found in my residence.
> AL GORE I invented the chicken!
> THE BIBLE And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken
> "THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD." And the chicken didst cross the road, and
> there was much rejoicing.
> COLONEL SANDERS Did I miss one?
>
>Are you still alive, or did you die laughing?!!!!!!
