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jimnyc

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As all of the issues with the system come and go, I have rarely ever used it. In fact, I don't believe I've repped anyone in like 6 months (maybe I forgot one).

I feel like being generous tonight and lending a hand to one of you rep whores. Whoever gives me the best reason will get some of my rare points. Make me laugh, make me sad (sometimes that's good), make me think...!
 

GotZoom

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
 

Annie

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jimnyc said:
As all of the issues with the system come and go, I have rarely ever used it. In fact, I don't believe I've repped anyone in like 6 months (maybe I forgot one).

I feel like being generous tonight and lending a hand to one of you rep whores. Whoever gives me the best reason will get some of my rare points. Make me laugh, make me sad (sometimes that's good), make me think...!
On the rare occassions you grace us with your presence, I rep you when I'm able! :laugh:
 
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jimnyc

jimnyc

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GotZoom said:
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

I did laugh, but I've heard that one before.

As a painless way to save money, a young couple agreed that every time they made love the husband would put his pocket change into a piggy bank.

One night, during a particularly athletic session of love-making, he knocked the bank off the table.

It hit the floor and shattered. To his surprise, among the coins was a handful of bills.

"What's with the paper money?" he asked his wife.

"Well," she replied, "not everyone's as cheap as you!"
 

GotZoom

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
 

Annie

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GotZoom said:
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."


Now that's funny!
 

GotZoom

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Said1

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Ok. This one is reallly bad. But I laughed and will say "talk to the hand" to the PC crowd.

A friend sent this to me yesterday. An e-mail entitled "Last Warning".

This is not a hoax!
>
> This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban Minister of
> Migration, Mohammed Omar, warned Canada that if military action
> against Afganistan continues, Taliban authorities will cut off Canada's
> supply of convenience store managers. And if this action does not yield
> sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Bell telephone
> customer service reps.
>
> It's getting ugly out there.

If only it were the Sympatico reps!
 
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jimnyc

jimnyc

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Shattered said:
Give it up.

Darin wins.

He furnished boobs.

Actually, no one did cause I fell asleep! :laugh:

I think it was those million boobs that I was counting that did it.
 

Abbey Normal

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Something to remind us that our breakups weren't so bad after all:

PoorScottKelly.jpg
 

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