Religious Humour

[Delta4Embassy]

Islam's prohibition against visually depicting Mohammed is due to the 'family portrait' problem of he and his wife, half his height being shown side by side.

Christianity's problem with a married Jesus lies in the followup questions, how hung was he?

Jewish married couples do not have sex through a hole in the bedsheet. That's just an urban legend. We actually do it through holes punched in hundred dollar bills.

 

[Michelle420]

What do you get if you cross a Jew?

Christianity.

 

[Michelle420]

Buddhist A: "Hey, how's life?"

Buddhist B: "I've had better."

 

[Michelle420]

I'm Gonna Jump In Mumbai, a man is going to jump off the building.
Up rushes good Hindu cop to talk him down.
Cop yells up to the man "Don't jump! Think of your father" Man replies "Haven't got a father; I'm going to jump."
The copy goes through a list of relatives, mother, brothers, sister, etc. Each time man says "haven't got one; going to jump." Desperate the cop yells up "Don't jump! Think of Lord Krishna"
Man replies "Who is that?" Cop yells "Jump, Muslim! You're blocking traffic!"

 

[Michelle420]

Stereotyping people because of their religion is not nice.

Whether they be a Christian a Jew or a terrorist.

 

[Michelle420]

I am not sure why all the Christian groups get so upset about same sex marriages. For years I have been in a same sex marriage.

I have been having the same sex in the same position with the same woman ever since I married the *****. Isn't that what they want?

 

[Michelle420]

A Christian telling an Atheist he is going to Hell is about as scary as a small child telling an adult they won't get any presents from Santa.

 

[Michelle420]

Q: How do you tell a Sunni from a Shiite?

A: The Sunnis are the ones with the Shiite blown out of them.

 

[Michelle420]

A Mormon giving marriage advice is like Octomom running a planned parenthood clinic.

 

[Michelle420]

Scientology.

Taking the heat off of Jehovah's Witnesses since 1952.

 

[Judicial review]

Spell humor properly..... irritating. ....

 

[Michelle420]

Easiest job in the world - Muslim psychic

"I'm getting an 'M'...... Does the name 'Mohammed' mean anything to anyone in the room?"

 

[Michelle420]

An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "what is this Father?"

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out.

The father said quietly to his son, "go and get your mother."

 

[Delta4Embassy]

Spell humor properly..... irritating. ....

I did. Americans are just stupid.

humour - definition of humour by The Free Dictionary

 

[Capstone]

Some people say Scientology is ridiculous and obviously made-up; I say that's why it's officially classified as a 'religion'.

 

[Capstone]

Q: What do you get if you remove an 'm' from the word 'Mormon'?

A: A tautology.

 

[Capstone]

Q: What's a Jewish catch 22?

A: Free ham.

 

[Delta4Embassy]

Miss the 'Funny' button. A lot of these are really funny.

 

[Capstone]

A muslim, a communist, and a Kenyan walk into a bar, and the bartender says,"What'll it be tonight, Mr. President?"...