Protests: Fifty Shades as Glamorizing Domestic Violence

[Katzndogz]

A "spanking" is not abuse. Tying people up and abusing them to the point where they need a "safety word" OTH is abuse. A simple spanking is NOT considered BDSM. It is MUCH more than just playful spanking or hair pulling. It is inflicting pain and injury on another human being and enjoying it to the point of orgasm.

So put you down as "not kinky"

weren't you in another thread the other day chastising me about judging someone who wrote that they walk around naked in front of their children? See, I consider that child abuse.

Hey, if you want to discuss that then stay in that thread. Don't bring your issues here. Walking around naked is NOT abuse.

I only brought it into this thread to show your hypocrisy.

In fact it's worse than hypocrisy because if a woman chooses to allow herself to be "abused" by a man, she's consented, why do you care what they do if it's consensual? On the other hand, I doubt that anyone who walks around naked in front of their children has asked them if it's okay with them. I can't think of a single child who wants to see their parents naked.

And of course children can't consent anyway.

It is not, you nut job. Walking around nude is not abusive. BDSM is using sex as a guise for abusing people because you like hurting people.

Even if true, if they find someone who consents to being "abused" its frankly none of your business. Land of the free and all that.

That's why abusers have been able to use "she wanted it" as a get out of jail free card for decades.

 

[Delta4Embassy]

What people get off on in the sexual sphere is many and varied. Clowns are even a thing. And dressing up as furry animals is also a thing.

Instead of going out of way to denounce and persecute these behaviours how about instead we try to appreciate there's only so many ways to have sex, and changing things up doing other than intercourse is just one of many ways of keeping sex fun.

Is hitting your sex partner because they want you to objectionable? To some yes, to others no. But should we denounce something just because some people have a problem with it? No. If something's so bad it deserves to be denounced we'll make a law restricting it. Otherwise, live and let live.

It is objectionable. It is. I have the right to post my opinions on the subject matter. To me that is abuse and the person who is accepting of such abuse, not normal and not healthy.

You absolutely have that right. Not disputing that. Just illustrating how you're wrong when you mischaracterize the behaviour as abusive. And thus that's why it's objectionable.

No one wants to be abused. But some do want to feel pain, or out of control, whatever else they're doing. One person's abuse, is another's pleasure as they say. Just like anal intercourse. To some it's only pain, to others it's pleasure. But because for some it's painful doesn't mean it's abuse.

 

[ChrisL]

What people get off on in the sexual sphere is many and varied. Clowns are even a thing. And dressing up as furry animals is also a thing.

Instead of going out of way to denounce and persecute these behaviours how about instead we try to appreciate there's only so many ways to have sex, and changing things up doing other than intercourse is just one of many ways of keeping sex fun.

Is hitting your sex partner because they want you to objectionable? To some yes, to others no. But should we denounce something just because some people have a problem with it? No. If something's so bad it deserves to be denounced we'll make a law restricting it. Otherwise, live and let live.

It is objectionable. It is. I have the right to post my opinions on the subject matter. To me that is abuse and the person who is accepting of such abuse, not normal and not healthy.

You absolutely have that right. Not disputing that. Just illustrating how you're wrong when you mischaracterize the behaviour as abusive. And thus that's why it's objectionable.

No one wants to be abused. But some do want to feel pain, or out of control, whatever else they're doing. One person's abuse, is another's pleasure as they say. Just like anal intercourse. To some it's only pain, to others it's pleasure. But because for some it's painful doesn't mean it's abuse.

Well, if you ENJOY beating people, does that not make you abusive? What if said person could NOT find a partner to go along? Would they just remove it from their repertoire? I think not.

 

[Darkwind]

What kind of person WANTS to be hurt? Think about it. With your brain and not your dick.

I do not judge people on their sexual preferences.

Neither do I, but I don't have to think they are normal or healthy because they are not. Abuse is not normal or healthy under ANY circumstances.

Once again, that is your opinion. Other people have opinions that differ from yours.

Some people think having sex with minors is alright too, but we have LAWS against it. Not everything is acceptable to the general population, and yes, you are going to be seen as a weirdo by most people if you engage in abuse of your partner. That is not sex or love. It is abuse and violence under the guise of sex.

I am on my way to the movies right now. I have the choice of American Sniper or 50 Shades of Grey. I am choosing American Sniper. Some people would think that I was a sick **** for wanting to see a movie about a sniper killing people over a movie about kinky sax. They would not consider me normal.
Two points: Having sex with an under age person is against the law and a different subject.
You should not speak about what society in general believes. You do not know what goes on I people's heads.

Wait....huh? Kinky sax?

What is this sax you speak of?

 

[Darkwind]

So put you down as "not kinky"

weren't you in another thread the other day chastising me about judging someone who wrote that they walk around naked in front of their children? See, I consider that child abuse.

Hey, if you want to discuss that then stay in that thread. Don't bring your issues here. Walking around naked is NOT abuse.

I only brought it into this thread to show your hypocrisy.

In fact it's worse than hypocrisy because if a woman chooses to allow herself to be "abused" by a man, she's consented, why do you care what they do if it's consensual? On the other hand, I doubt that anyone who walks around naked in front of their children has asked them if it's okay with them. I can't think of a single child who wants to see their parents naked.

And of course children can't consent anyway.

It is not, you nut job. Walking around nude is not abusive. BDSM is using sex as a guise for abusing people because you like hurting people.

Even if true, if they find someone who consents to being "abused" its frankly none of your business. Land of the free and all that.

That's why abusers have been able to use "she wanted it" as a get out of jail free card for decades.

It doesn't work that way.

 

[ChrisL]

Hey, if you want to discuss that then stay in that thread. Don't bring your issues here. Walking around naked is NOT abuse.

I only brought it into this thread to show your hypocrisy.

In fact it's worse than hypocrisy because if a woman chooses to allow herself to be "abused" by a man, she's consented, why do you care what they do if it's consensual? On the other hand, I doubt that anyone who walks around naked in front of their children has asked them if it's okay with them. I can't think of a single child who wants to see their parents naked.

And of course children can't consent anyway.

It is not, you nut job. Walking around nude is not abusive. BDSM is using sex as a guise for abusing people because you like hurting people.

Even if true, if they find someone who consents to being "abused" its frankly none of your business. Land of the free and all that.

That's why abusers have been able to use "she wanted it" as a get out of jail free card for decades.

It doesn't work that way.

Face it. These kinds of people are abusers who have just found someone confused enough to go along with it. Like I asked the other poster, if they could not find a person to go along with it, would they forget about it and remove it from their sexual repertoire?

 

[Papageorgio]

Things get heated since Ana still hasn't officially signed the contract. She doesn't feel comfortable with the thought of Christian trying to punish her for his pleasure. He tells her that he doesn't want to hurt her nor does he want to do anything that she wouldn't want him to do. She asks him why he wants to do this, to which he responds that he is "fifty shades of fucked up". Christian takes Ana into the kitchen and pulls her pants down to show her how extreme their BDSM relationship can be. He says he will whip her butt six times with his belt, and he makes her count. After the sixth whip, Ana is mortified and she retreats to the bedroom to lie in bed and cry. She doesn't want to see Christian right now. She tells him she's fallen in love with him, but she knows that she can't be what he wants her to be.

Ana gets up and heads for the elevator. Christian follows her and tries to stop her from leaving, but her mind is made up. As she steps into the elevator, he calls out to her, "Ana..." She only says, "Christian" as the elevator doors shut.
===========================

Doesn't sound like this was right for her. So all the time it was going on anyway, it was not respecting her boundaries.

The only good part is that if she does leave the relationship
then at least for that. Some women can't do that but end up stuck, and just get used to the abuse in order to have the relationship.

Does not sound like domestic abuse. She was still a willing participant. She was curious about it and went along. As I said, the author is clueless about BDSM and the writing is terrible. This was probably the worst written book I have tried to read in my adult life. But Ana was a willing participant. Domestic abuse victims are not. This sort of comparison, in fact, is harmful to those who are true victims of domestic abuse. They are NOT willing and, for whatever reason, believe that they either cannot leave or are responsible for the abuse.

Also, by all the traditional rules of BDSM, if she has not signed their contract (or at least given explicit verbal consent) nothing should have happened at all.

Consented or coerced?

Abusive power is abusive power. domestic violence and be actions, words or power.

 

[Darkwind]

Things get heated since Ana still hasn't officially signed the contract. She doesn't feel comfortable with the thought of Christian trying to punish her for his pleasure. He tells her that he doesn't want to hurt her nor does he want to do anything that she wouldn't want him to do. She asks him why he wants to do this, to which he responds that he is "fifty shades of fucked up". Christian takes Ana into the kitchen and pulls her pants down to show her how extreme their BDSM relationship can be. He says he will whip her butt six times with his belt, and he makes her count. After the sixth whip, Ana is mortified and she retreats to the bedroom to lie in bed and cry. She doesn't want to see Christian right now. She tells him she's fallen in love with him, but she knows that she can't be what he wants her to be.

Ana gets up and heads for the elevator. Christian follows her and tries to stop her from leaving, but her mind is made up. As she steps into the elevator, he calls out to her, "Ana..." She only says, "Christian" as the elevator doors shut.
===========================

Doesn't sound like this was right for her. So all the time it was going on anyway, it was not respecting her boundaries.

The only good part is that if she does leave the relationship
then at least for that. Some women can't do that but end up stuck, and just get used to the abuse in order to have the relationship.

Does not sound like domestic abuse. She was still a willing participant. She was curious about it and went along. As I said, the author is clueless about BDSM and the writing is terrible. This was probably the worst written book I have tried to read in my adult life. But Ana was a willing participant. Domestic abuse victims are not. This sort of comparison, in fact, is harmful to those who are true victims of domestic abuse. They are NOT willing and, for whatever reason, believe that they either cannot leave or are responsible for the abuse.

Also, by all the traditional rules of BDSM, if she has not signed their contract (or at least given explicit verbal consent) nothing should have happened at all.

Consented or coerced?

Abusive power is abusive power. domestic violence and be actions, words or power.

You do understand that the movie AND book were works of fiction, right?

 

[Papageorgio]

Things get heated since Ana still hasn't officially signed the contract. She doesn't feel comfortable with the thought of Christian trying to punish her for his pleasure. He tells her that he doesn't want to hurt her nor does he want to do anything that she wouldn't want him to do. She asks him why he wants to do this, to which he responds that he is "fifty shades of fucked up". Christian takes Ana into the kitchen and pulls her pants down to show her how extreme their BDSM relationship can be. He says he will whip her butt six times with his belt, and he makes her count. After the sixth whip, Ana is mortified and she retreats to the bedroom to lie in bed and cry. She doesn't want to see Christian right now. She tells him she's fallen in love with him, but she knows that she can't be what he wants her to be.

Ana gets up and heads for the elevator. Christian follows her and tries to stop her from leaving, but her mind is made up. As she steps into the elevator, he calls out to her, "Ana..." She only says, "Christian" as the elevator doors shut.
===========================

Doesn't sound like this was right for her. So all the time it was going on anyway, it was not respecting her boundaries.

The only good part is that if she does leave the relationship
then at least for that. Some women can't do that but end up stuck, and just get used to the abuse in order to have the relationship.

Does not sound like domestic abuse. She was still a willing participant. She was curious about it and went along. As I said, the author is clueless about BDSM and the writing is terrible. This was probably the worst written book I have tried to read in my adult life. But Ana was a willing participant. Domestic abuse victims are not. This sort of comparison, in fact, is harmful to those who are true victims of domestic abuse. They are NOT willing and, for whatever reason, believe that they either cannot leave or are responsible for the abuse.

Also, by all the traditional rules of BDSM, if she has not signed their contract (or at least given explicit verbal consent) nothing should have happened at all.

Consented or coerced?

Abusive power is abusive power. domestic violence and be actions, words or power.

You do understand that the movie AND book were works of fiction, right?

You do understand why the protests are taking place, right?

 

[martybegan]

I only brought it into this thread to show your hypocrisy.

In fact it's worse than hypocrisy because if a woman chooses to allow herself to be "abused" by a man, she's consented, why do you care what they do if it's consensual? On the other hand, I doubt that anyone who walks around naked in front of their children has asked them if it's okay with them. I can't think of a single child who wants to see their parents naked.

And of course children can't consent anyway.

It is not, you nut job. Walking around nude is not abusive. BDSM is using sex as a guise for abusing people because you like hurting people.

Even if true, if they find someone who consents to being "abused" its frankly none of your business. Land of the free and all that.

That's why abusers have been able to use "she wanted it" as a get out of jail free card for decades.

It doesn't work that way.

Face it. These kinds of people are abusers who have just found someone confused enough to go along with it. Like I asked the other poster, if they could not find a person to go along with it, would they forget about it and remove it from their sexual repertoire?

So there is no woman out there who is into submissive stuff? Zero?

I'm sorry, but the "poor little girl" thing to me is just as demeaning as asking a woman to make a sandwich.

 

[ChrisL]

Things get heated since Ana still hasn't officially signed the contract. She doesn't feel comfortable with the thought of Christian trying to punish her for his pleasure. He tells her that he doesn't want to hurt her nor does he want to do anything that she wouldn't want him to do. She asks him why he wants to do this, to which he responds that he is "fifty shades of fucked up". Christian takes Ana into the kitchen and pulls her pants down to show her how extreme their BDSM relationship can be. He says he will whip her butt six times with his belt, and he makes her count. After the sixth whip, Ana is mortified and she retreats to the bedroom to lie in bed and cry. She doesn't want to see Christian right now. She tells him she's fallen in love with him, but she knows that she can't be what he wants her to be.

Ana gets up and heads for the elevator. Christian follows her and tries to stop her from leaving, but her mind is made up. As she steps into the elevator, he calls out to her, "Ana..." She only says, "Christian" as the elevator doors shut.
===========================

Doesn't sound like this was right for her. So all the time it was going on anyway, it was not respecting her boundaries.

The only good part is that if she does leave the relationship
then at least for that. Some women can't do that but end up stuck, and just get used to the abuse in order to have the relationship.

Does not sound like domestic abuse. She was still a willing participant. She was curious about it and went along. As I said, the author is clueless about BDSM and the writing is terrible. This was probably the worst written book I have tried to read in my adult life. But Ana was a willing participant. Domestic abuse victims are not. This sort of comparison, in fact, is harmful to those who are true victims of domestic abuse. They are NOT willing and, for whatever reason, believe that they either cannot leave or are responsible for the abuse.

Also, by all the traditional rules of BDSM, if she has not signed their contract (or at least given explicit verbal consent) nothing should have happened at all.

Consented or coerced?

Abusive power is abusive power. domestic violence and be actions, words or power.

That's a good point too. Some people are lonely, messed up, young and naive, inexperienced, whatever the case may be and easily coerced. I don't see how that makes such a relationship any less abusive though.

 

[Katzndogz]

All of this acceptance of abuse as just another way to enjoy sex will be over. As soon as a daughter comes home bloody and bruised saying that she was proving to her boyfriend she had a normal healthy interest in alternative sex the acceptance part will be done.

 

[ChrisL]

It is not, you nut job. Walking around nude is not abusive. BDSM is using sex as a guise for abusing people because you like hurting people.

Even if true, if they find someone who consents to being "abused" its frankly none of your business. Land of the free and all that.

That's why abusers have been able to use "she wanted it" as a get out of jail free card for decades.

It doesn't work that way.

Face it. These kinds of people are abusers who have just found someone confused enough to go along with it. Like I asked the other poster, if they could not find a person to go along with it, would they forget about it and remove it from their sexual repertoire?

So there is no woman out there who is into submissive stuff? Zero?

I'm sorry, but the "poor little girl" thing to me is just as demeaning as asking a woman to make a sandwich.

I never said those words. Never. I said they are fucked up individuals on both sides of the spectrum. It is abuse. The people are getting off on abuse of another person or on being abused. That is the fact. That is not sex. That is not love.

 

[Darkwind]

Things get heated since Ana still hasn't officially signed the contract. She doesn't feel comfortable with the thought of Christian trying to punish her for his pleasure. He tells her that he doesn't want to hurt her nor does he want to do anything that she wouldn't want him to do. She asks him why he wants to do this, to which he responds that he is "fifty shades of fucked up". Christian takes Ana into the kitchen and pulls her pants down to show her how extreme their BDSM relationship can be. He says he will whip her butt six times with his belt, and he makes her count. After the sixth whip, Ana is mortified and she retreats to the bedroom to lie in bed and cry. She doesn't want to see Christian right now. She tells him she's fallen in love with him, but she knows that she can't be what he wants her to be.

Ana gets up and heads for the elevator. Christian follows her and tries to stop her from leaving, but her mind is made up. As she steps into the elevator, he calls out to her, "Ana..." She only says, "Christian" as the elevator doors shut.
===========================

Doesn't sound like this was right for her. So all the time it was going on anyway, it was not respecting her boundaries.

The only good part is that if she does leave the relationship
then at least for that. Some women can't do that but end up stuck, and just get used to the abuse in order to have the relationship.

Does not sound like domestic abuse. She was still a willing participant. She was curious about it and went along. As I said, the author is clueless about BDSM and the writing is terrible. This was probably the worst written book I have tried to read in my adult life. But Ana was a willing participant. Domestic abuse victims are not. This sort of comparison, in fact, is harmful to those who are true victims of domestic abuse. They are NOT willing and, for whatever reason, believe that they either cannot leave or are responsible for the abuse.

Also, by all the traditional rules of BDSM, if she has not signed their contract (or at least given explicit verbal consent) nothing should have happened at all.

Consented or coerced?

Abusive power is abusive power. domestic violence and be actions, words or power.

You do understand that the movie AND book were works of fiction, right?

You do understand why the protests are taking place, right?

Sure...the women are scared their men may go find something better.....Its the same reason they protested here when the local video shop decided to install an adult section behind a closed door.

It is fear. The fear of losing, or fear because they do not understand.

 

[Darkwind]

All of this acceptance of abuse as just another way to enjoy sex will be over. As soon as a daughter comes home bloody and bruised saying that she was proving to her boyfriend she had a normal healthy interest in alternative sex the acceptance part will be done.

Again, it does not work that way.

 

[September]

Women are primarily the dominant ones in the BDSM scene.​

 

[ChrisL]

It is not, you nut job. Walking around nude is not abusive. BDSM is using sex as a guise for abusing people because you like hurting people.

Even if true, if they find someone who consents to being "abused" its frankly none of your business. Land of the free and all that.

That's why abusers have been able to use "she wanted it" as a get out of jail free card for decades.

It doesn't work that way.

Face it. These kinds of people are abusers who have just found someone confused enough to go along with it. Like I asked the other poster, if they could not find a person to go along with it, would they forget about it and remove it from their sexual repertoire?

So there is no woman out there who is into submissive stuff? Zero?

I'm sorry, but the "poor little girl" thing to me is just as demeaning as asking a woman to make a sandwich.

Yeah, and sometimes it's the woman who likes to dole out the abuse and the man who likes to take it. Now go make me a sammich.

 

[Delta4Embassy]

All of this acceptance of abuse as just another way to enjoy sex will be over. As soon as a daughter comes home bloody and bruised saying that she was proving to her boyfriend she had a normal healthy interest in alternative sex the acceptance part will be done.

Listen closely, you can hear the ghost of the Marquis De Sade laughing.

 

[Darkwind]

It is not, you nut job. Walking around nude is not abusive. BDSM is using sex as a guise for abusing people because you like hurting people.

Even if true, if they find someone who consents to being "abused" its frankly none of your business. Land of the free and all that.

That's why abusers have been able to use "she wanted it" as a get out of jail free card for decades.

It doesn't work that way.

Face it. These kinds of people are abusers who have just found someone confused enough to go along with it. Like I asked the other poster, if they could not find a person to go along with it, would they forget about it and remove it from their sexual repertoire?

So there is no woman out there who is into submissive stuff? Zero?

I'm sorry, but the "poor little girl" thing to me is just as demeaning as asking a woman to make a sandwich.

Lots of women actually. And lots of men too. So much sometimes one has to 'beat' them off with a stick.

 

[ChrisL]

All of this acceptance of abuse as just another way to enjoy sex will be over. As soon as a daughter comes home bloody and bruised saying that she was proving to her boyfriend she had a normal healthy interest in alternative sex the acceptance part will be done.

Listen closely, you can hear the ghost of the Marquis De Sade laughing.

Do you have or ever had a daughter or a son? No? Then you wouldn't understand.