Oh man, this brings back memories! I spent many a summer lifeguarding when I was young. There's always these douche bags who simply can't understand that there are basic rules that a public pool needs to enforce, in order to preserve public safety and also for facility maintenance. They try to talk their way around the issue, all while a lifeguard is trying to focus on watching the water, and the only thing you can do is shut them down. I've had to do it many, many times. Alot of times they don't like having to take instructions from a teenager, so trying to engage them is pointless. Because all they're looking for is an indication of weakness so they can just get their way.
No, you are not allowed to pee in the water?
Well, how do you know if I do it or not?
If I so much as suspect it, you'll be escorted off the premises.
No, I cannot approve for you to menstruate into the water
Well, now do yo know if I do it or not?
Well now that you mention it, if I find even one drop of ketchup anywhere near this pool, it'll be on you.
No, I cannot allow you to dive in the 5 foot area
Well, they let me do it before!
I'm only saying this one time, if I see you dive in shallow water I'm first going to walk over and call security to escort you off premises, and then I'll come back to check to see if you broke your neck in the process.
No, I cannot allow you to bring beer into the facility
If I put it into a bottle you'd never know the difference, so why can't you just let me bring it in now?
Take your cooler back to your car and leave it there. That is the only way I'm going to allow you to come in today. Don't bother to try smuggling in booze some other way either. If I find one drop you'll have to leave immediately.
Please stop having sex in the pool
How do you know I'm up inside her down here?
You have 2 seconds before I call the police on you for public indecency.