Here's a different perspective:
Rather than arguing if government (state and/or Fed) should recognize gay vs straight marriage, how about we get the government out of the business of marriage?
Marriage is a contract. All we need the government for is to provide courts should there be a dispute concerning that contract. Otherwise, the government need not know the nature of your personal relationship, with the possible exception of immigration applicants.
Whatever 'benefits' are afforded to married couples in the tax codes or in other laws, such benefits should either be eliminated or the people should be allowed to identify another person(s) of their choosing to receive said benefits. The nature of the relationship is none of government's business!
This way, if a lesbian couple wants to get married and their pastor at the local Church of the Sacred Beaver is willing to marry them, great! We have a first amendment too...so if you want to call yourself married, go right ahead. None of this should require government approval or definition.
Problem solved.
So where's the legislation to do that?
I've seen no legislation, but I'm glad to see you're keen on the idea. Perhaps some freedom minded, anti-nanny state politician will introduce it. We shall see.
Where was it before the gays wanted in the pool?
Well, as we don't see such legislation now, it's hardly surprising that we didn't see it in the past.
That said, I've been arguing against any special benefits/loopholes for any select/favored group for decades now. IMO, laws, regulations, tax codes, etc should be made only when absolutely necessary and without giving benefit to one group over another.