Money and Relationships

[Bonzi]

Who spends what / when?

What do you think is appropriate (to or for you?) in a dating situation?
Should the man always pay?
Should the man pay on the first several dates, then, negotiable?
What if the woman makes much more money?

How about marriage? Do you personally feel it's important to have one joint account?

 

[Toro]

Since we were married 18 years ago, my wife has not worked. All of our accounts our joint, and I view our finances to be a 50/50 partnership. She has as much say over it as I do. Sometimes she demurs and feels guilty about not contributing financially, but I remind her that we both agreed that she would stay home and raise our son, which was the more important job anyways.

 

[Pete7469]

In dating, the man pays.

In my house I make all the money, we have multiple accounts but pretty much agree on how to use the money.

 

[Bonzi]

We have separate accounts but agree to pay for different things - however both are names are on both accounts.
Early on there were issues, but we've been doing it this way for so long now, it's works perfectly.

In a dating scenario, I'm old fashioned. I think the many should pay (unless the woman asks the man) - so I guess the "asker" should pay..... if the relationship gets more serious, it would make sense for the person with the most money to fork over more....

 

[The Great Goose]

On a date, the man should pay.

 

[Auld Phart]

One of the few nationalities not in my ancestry is Dutch.

We've never gone Dutch

 

[fbj]

If a woman pulls out her money on a date what does that mean?

 

[Bonzi]

If a woman pulls out her money on a date what does that mean?

Probably she is testing you. You are supposed to say, no I have it....
But that's not a problem with you right, cause you like women using you for money... correct?

 

[Bonzi]

On a date, the man should pay.

... even if the woman asked him out?

 

[iamwhatiseem]

I have always made the lion share of our income, all accounts are joint however I have always been in control of all of our investments/retirement funds. We have had a "spending" account for years...whatever is in there is disposable income...within reason of course.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Who spends what / when?

What do you think is appropriate (to or for you?) in a dating situation?
Should the man always pay?
Should the man pay on the first several dates, then, negotiable?
What if the woman makes much more money?

How about marriage? Do you personally feel it's important to have one joint account?

The person who does the inviting should pay. If the invitation is intended to be a split bill, this should be indicated at the time of invitation. If this invitation is at all romantically-intended, and we do not know each other well yet, the odds are very good that I will decline a "Dutch treat" invitation as tacky.

 

[Cecilie1200]

If a woman pulls out her money on a date what does that mean?

Probably means she either thinks you're a cheapskate, or she's been conditioned to accept men being crass, tacky boors as normal.

 

[The Great Goose]

On a date, the man should pay.

... even if the woman asked him out?

Hmm. No, not then.

 

[Bonzi]

I wish I was as brave now when I was younger.... maybe not though.... I remember being cornered by a guy in a stairwell.... I liked it.... but there have been times I have been cornered and not liked it so much......

 

[September]

Urban Dictionary's first definition of evil is girls.

This is the "proof" lol:

"Girls require time and money
(Girls = Time x Money)
But we all know time is money
(Time = Money)
Therefore
(Girls = Money x Money)
(Money x Money = Money squared)
And because money is the root of all evil
(Money = square route of evil)
Therefore
(Girls = (the square route of evil)squared)
so we are forced to conclude that...
(Girls = Evil)"

​

 

[Delta4Embassy]

Who spends what / when?

What do you think is appropriate (to or for you?) in a dating situation?
Should the man always pay?
Should the man pay on the first several dates, then, negotiable?
What if the woman makes much more money?

How about marriage? Do you personally feel it's important to have one joint account?

If one or the other pays for dates isn't the other just saying they're a whore?

Each should pay for their own. Then neither's 'paid for.' And both sides remain equal with neither obligated to the other.

Marriage is different since by definition it's a combining of resources. If you get a pre-nup though sep accounts might be the way to go. If you're both economic equals joint might be simplest.

 

[Diana1180]

My boyfriend and I have a standing Friday night date night. He always pays for date night. We pretty much live together and I always cook dinner. WHich mean stopping at the grocery store most nights to pick up stuff to make. My point is..it usually all comes out even in the end. We both work and make money...therefore, we can both pitch in for things.

 

[Bonzi]

Ultimately, I don't think there are any "rules" whatever works for the 2 people.
And, even in early on dating, if you don't like the way it's playing out, better to just make it a "one and done" deal.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Who spends what / when?

What do you think is appropriate (to or for you?) in a dating situation?
Should the man always pay?
Should the man pay on the first several dates, then, negotiable?
What if the woman makes much more money?

How about marriage? Do you personally feel it's important to have one joint account?

If one or the other pays for dates isn't the other just saying they're a whore?

Each should pay for their own. Then neither's 'paid for.' And both sides remain equal with neither obligated to the other.

Marriage is different since by definition it's a combining of resources. If you get a pre-nup though sep accounts might be the way to go. If you're both economic equals joint might be simplest.

Uh, no. A whore is someone who specifically agrees to accept money in exchange for sexual activities.

Whereas if you accept a date invitation, you are only agreeing to spend time in the company of the asker. You are not directly receiving monetary compensation for your company, nor is sexual activity in any mandatory or guaranteed. The payment for any products or activities involved in the date (such as food, event tickets, etc.) is ancillary, provided to a third party specifically for only those products, and is provided as much for the asker to partake of as the date. Since the date could theoretically just as easily be for sitting in the house and conversing, the activity does not constitute compensation.

 

[Muhammed]

On a date, the man should pay.

... even if the woman asked him out?

If a girl asks a guy out she should be prepared pay, but the guy should offer to pay for it anyways if he can afford it.