Mom's Of Inmates

[Linkiloo]

I am sorry for this. However you need to stop living in denial. She is where she belongs and she is still obtaining drugs in prison which is on her. Her son is lucky not to have a mom in his life like this who will do more hard than good. It is also sad that his great granny has to look after him. I'm sure she hardly up to it seeing as though she is surely a bit older.

Also your daughter is an adult now and has to be treated as such.

 

[Gracie]

One word:

ALANON

Go to a meeting.

 

[Gracie]

No she would not come to you and her son. She would immediately look for friends to go get her meth. Saying otherwise is you being blind. Again.

 

[Disir]

If your daughter was released right now, would she come to you? Or meth?

She would come to me guarantee. Me and her son!!!!

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And then she would be using again. She might try to do both. And you would yell at her in private and excuse her behavior when she was caught again. If she was unable to figure out how not to do it in her grandmother's house with her son then she isn't going to be able to control it in your home.

You can't make her want to stop. You have no control over it. None. All of the love you have for her is not going to make it right until she thinks she is worth it. You didn't start her habit and you sure as hell can't stop it. Your effort will not change it.

So all of the things that you didn't have time to do when she was little or places that you wanted to take her but couldn't when she was young, you can do with your grandson. All of those times you wish you would have handled things differently, you now have the experience to put it into practice.

 

[OldLady]

Some people beat addiction to drugs and some people don't. It's like cancer. Not everyone makes it.
Your daughter isn't ready to stop. You can't do anything to make her, and neither can anyone else.
She has a disease. The judicial system tried giving her a chance with rehab, but she wasn't ready to take the treatment. That's all they have to offer.

I hope you'll find peace. It must be very painful to watch your daughter go through this.

Yes, but how does petty unnecessary obstruction of family access and information help anything? Family support is important; isolation of addicts is only a form of torture and petty abuse.

My son has been a corrections officer at a maximum security prison for years. The smuggling of drugs into prisons is unbelievable. That may be part of the limited access. The other part of it is that you have to come up with some sort of disciplinary system for infractions when people are incarcerated. What else can you take away but their social contact? This young lady would and has done everything to work around the system and distribute drugs in the prison. She is not ready to get clean. Is leaving her in the general population to keep pushing drugs your choice?

 

[ChrisL]

Some people beat addiction to drugs and some people don't. It's like cancer. Not everyone makes it.
Your daughter isn't ready to stop. You can't do anything to make her, and neither can anyone else.
She has a disease. The judicial system tried giving her a chance with rehab, but she wasn't ready to take the treatment. That's all they have to offer.

I hope you'll find peace. It must be very painful to watch your daughter go through this.

Yes, but how does petty unnecessary obstruction of family access and information help anything? Family support is important; isolation of addicts is only a form of torture and petty abuse.

My son has been a corrections officer at a maximum security prison for years. The smuggling of drugs into prisons is unbelievable. That may be part of the limited access. The other part of it is that you have to come up with some sort of disciplinary system for infractions when people are incarcerated. What else can you take away but their social contact? This young lady would and has done everything to work around the system and distribute drugs in the prison. She is not ready to get clean. Is leaving her in the general population to keep pushing drugs your choice?

I wonder if the prison system is the right place to put these people. I would think a locked down psychiatric facility where they can receive substance abuse counseling on a regular basis and where there are not any drugs being smuggled in. These people,who are more addicted to substances than actual criminals, are certainly not getting the individual help they need when they are thrown into prison.

 

[Picaro]

Some people beat addiction to drugs and some people don't. It's like cancer. Not everyone makes it.
Your daughter isn't ready to stop. You can't do anything to make her, and neither can anyone else.
She has a disease. The judicial system tried giving her a chance with rehab, but she wasn't ready to take the treatment. That's all they have to offer.

I hope you'll find peace. It must be very painful to watch your daughter go through this.

Yes, but how does petty unnecessary obstruction of family access and information help anything? Family support is important; isolation of addicts is only a form of torture and petty abuse.

My son has been a corrections officer at a maximum security prison for years. The smuggling of drugs into prisons is unbelievable. That may be part of the limited access. The other part of it is that you have to come up with some sort of disciplinary system for infractions when people are incarcerated. What else can you take away but their social contact? This young lady would and has done everything to work around the system and distribute drugs in the prison. She is not ready to get clean. Is leaving her in the general population to keep pushing drugs your choice?

My post was about her mother having communications with her and not being able to find out what is going on with her daughter; I have no idea what your post has to do with that.

 

[koshergrl]

Meanwhile, men who brutalize and kill their children walk free and get probation.

Men who rape women and commit armed robbery are released onto the streets.

But if you are a rancher in this country who challenges fed authority, or a young girl who doesn't have any resources, then you're going DOWN.

I think it says a lot about the mentality of our law enforcement and our prosecutors...not to mention our judges.

 

[Gracie]

What this mom needs to realize and accept is...once her daughter became an addict, everything else went to the wayside. Nobody is number one with her except her bestest friend...meth. Nobody loves her more or she loves more than her bestest friend..meth. Thinking she would want to see her mom and her son first is bullshit. All she wants to do is get out and go get high on meth. THEN see her mom and son...until she can get more of her bestest friend..meth. And this is the way it will be until SHE decides to stop.

Mom is big time enabler and will continue to believe her daughter is the one she gave birth to. Nope. That girl is gone. Maybe forever. Now she needs to concentrate on her grandson...unless she is still keeping her head in the sand and he turns out the same way. Can't fix what you refuse to see, mom.

OPEN YOUR EYES.

 

[momsofinmates4si]

Meanwhile, men who brutalize and kill their children walk free and get probation.

Men who rape women and commit armed robbery are released onto the streets.

But if you are a rancher in this country who challenges fed authority, or a young girl who doesn't have any resources, then you're going DOWN.

I think it says a lot about the mentality of our law enforcement and our prosecutors...not to mention our judges.

Thank you I agree very much...i am a mom without resources but I am not giving up...thank you...

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[momsofinmates4si]

Some people beat addiction to drugs and some people don't. It's like cancer. Not everyone makes it.
Your daughter isn't ready to stop. You can't do anything to make her, and neither can anyone else.
She has a disease. The judicial system tried giving her a chance with rehab, but she wasn't ready to take the treatment. That's all they have to offer.

I hope you'll find peace. It must be very painful to watch your daughter go through this.

Yes, but how does petty unnecessary obstruction of family access and information help anything? Family support is important; isolation of addicts is only a form of torture and petty abuse.

My son has been a corrections officer at a maximum security prison for years. The smuggling of drugs into prisons is unbelievable. That may be part of the limited access. The other part of it is that you have to come up with some sort of disciplinary system for infractions when people are incarcerated. What else can you take away but their social contact? This young lady would and has done everything to work around the system and distribute drugs in the prison. She is not ready to get clean. Is leaving her in the general population to keep pushing drugs your choice?

I wonder if the prison system is the right place to put these people. I would think a locked down psychiatric facility where they can receive substance abuse counseling on a regular basis and where there are not any drugs being smuggled in. These people,who are more addicted to substances than actual criminals, are certainly not getting the individual help they need when they are thrown into prison.

Very much true and that is why I am working on my web page " Moms of Inmates" to get support groups to help us with a program of such. My daughter is not a criminal she did not rob a bank, or murder no body. I keep asking myself when did be an addict become a crime.

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[Gracie]

I keep asking myself when did be an addict become a crime.

When they rob and steal and drive under the influence and put others at risk and do ANYTHING to get their fix, that's when it became a crime.

See? Still blaming the world instead of the person that CHOSE to become an addict.
Something is wrong with this picture the more you post. Everything and everyone else is at fault except your daughter. She gets fed her drugs by a visitor and you focus on the visitor instead of the once happily accepting what got her in there in the first place. The son is living with grandparents instead of you. It makes me wonder what turned her to seek drugs so badly that she still does it to "escape" her reality even in prison.

 

[momsofinmates4si]

What this mom needs to realize and accept is...once her daughter became an addict, everything else went to the wayside. Nobody is number one with her except her bestest friend...meth. Nobody loves her more or she loves more than her bestest friend..meth. Thinking she would want to see her mom and her son first is bullshit. All she wants to do is get out and go get high on meth. THEN see her mom and son...until she can get more of her bestest friend..meth. And this is the way it will be until SHE decides to stop.

Mom is big time enabler and will continue to believe her daughter is the one she gave birth to. Nope. That girl is gone. Maybe forever. Now she needs to concentrate on her grandson...unless she is still keeping her head in the sand and he turns out the same way. Can't fix what you refuse to see, mom.

OPEN YOUR EYES.

My eyes are open and my head is not in the sand at all because if I was enabling my daughter I would have took those into her and I did not. I am her mother and I will continue to help her get better and beat this terrible unjust justice that was brought onto her.

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[Gracie]

I will continue to help her get better and beat this terrible unjust justice that was brought onto her.

Terrible injustice??? WTF? Was she FORCED to become an addict, or was it a CHOICE?

Oh man. This girl needs a lawyer to get a restraining order against YOU. You are a horrible influence. As long as you are involved, she will stay an addict because you REFUSE to SEE yourself.

 

[Gracie]

Definition of enabler

1. : one that enables another to achieve an end; especially : one who enables another to persist in self-destructive behavior (such as substance abuse) by providing excuses or by making it possible to avoid the consequences of such behavior
   

 

[Gracie]

So you go ahead and set up your website and focus on excusing HER behavior and HER choice to continue being an addict. Just ignore ALANON in getting help for YOU to understand where YOU are causing more harm than help.

With that said.....meh. BTDT and no desire to get involved further with someone refusing to acknowledge their own part in this mess.

/thread

 

[BulletProof]

I'm sorry to hear about the daughter. It's crazy how harshly we treat non-pot drug offenses. I hate to say it, but the daughter was headed nowhere fast.

It's horrible, but sometimes a parent just has to move on. The girl didn't make a few bad choices. She made a bad lifestyle choice.

 

[Linkiloo]

What this mom needs to realize and accept is...once her daughter became an addict, everything else went to the wayside. Nobody is number one with her except her bestest friend...meth. Nobody loves her more or she loves more than her bestest friend..meth. Thinking she would want to see her mom and her son first is bullshit. All she wants to do is get out and go get high on meth. THEN see her mom and son...until she can get more of her bestest friend..meth. And this is the way it will be until SHE decides to stop.

Mom is big time enabler and will continue to believe her daughter is the one she gave birth to. Nope. That girl is gone. Maybe forever. Now she needs to concentrate on her grandson...unless she is still keeping her head in the sand and he turns out the same way. Can't fix what you refuse to see, mom.

OPEN YOUR EYES.

My eyes are open and my head is not in the sand at all because if I was enabling my daughter I would have took those into her and I did not. I am her mother and I will continue to help her get better and beat this terrible unjust justice that was brought onto her.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using Tapatalk

Enabling doesn't only mean bringing her drugs; it means making excuses for her, not accepting that taking drugs is criminal and that it has consequences.

 

[Disir]

Some people beat addiction to drugs and some people don't. It's like cancer. Not everyone makes it.
Your daughter isn't ready to stop. You can't do anything to make her, and neither can anyone else.
She has a disease. The judicial system tried giving her a chance with rehab, but she wasn't ready to take the treatment. That's all they have to offer.

I hope you'll find peace. It must be very painful to watch your daughter go through this.

Yes, but how does petty unnecessary obstruction of family access and information help anything? Family support is important; isolation of addicts is only a form of torture and petty abuse.

My son has been a corrections officer at a maximum security prison for years. The smuggling of drugs into prisons is unbelievable. That may be part of the limited access. The other part of it is that you have to come up with some sort of disciplinary system for infractions when people are incarcerated. What else can you take away but their social contact? This young lady would and has done everything to work around the system and distribute drugs in the prison. She is not ready to get clean. Is leaving her in the general population to keep pushing drugs your choice?

I wonder if the prison system is the right place to put these people. I would think a locked down psychiatric facility where they can receive substance abuse counseling on a regular basis and where there are not any drugs being smuggled in. These people,who are more addicted to substances than actual criminals, are certainly not getting the individual help they need when they are thrown into prison.

It doesn't put the want to in there. It's real hard for people that become addicts when they are young because the future looks really boring without drugs or alcohol. So, you can't go to bars or out partying to clubs and everything around you from the radio to the people you work with to holidays are all focused on that. Fun is a huge part of their life. They want to have fun. When they look at the future they see church and checkers and that is for older people. It's boring.

They have to figure out how to have fun in different ways. Many times they have to relearn how to celebrate holidays. They have to change people, places and things. They can't go to the same places they have been to or associate with anyone that is using or be around the same things they once were.

Technically this girl is in the right place. Withdrawal from meth can last up to a month or even longer. Most prisons have substance abuse programs and dual diagnosis programs. She will get the same tools there including coping skills. They have NA and AA meetings. She was given the opportunity to want to. She didn't. She has to be willing to be responsible for her actions and that is internal. Counseling doesn't work if there is no want to.

We as a society have to ask at what point does an addict become responsible for their decisions? Can't ask them until they are way into their recovery because if you do then it is never for themselves. Nobody in that prison is holding a gun to her head telling her to seek out meth.

 

[Disir]

Some people beat addiction to drugs and some people don't. It's like cancer. Not everyone makes it.
Your daughter isn't ready to stop. You can't do anything to make her, and neither can anyone else.
She has a disease. The judicial system tried giving her a chance with rehab, but she wasn't ready to take the treatment. That's all they have to offer.

I hope you'll find peace. It must be very painful to watch your daughter go through this.

Yes, but how does petty unnecessary obstruction of family access and information help anything? Family support is important; isolation of addicts is only a form of torture and petty abuse.

My son has been a corrections officer at a maximum security prison for years. The smuggling of drugs into prisons is unbelievable. That may be part of the limited access. The other part of it is that you have to come up with some sort of disciplinary system for infractions when people are incarcerated. What else can you take away but their social contact? This young lady would and has done everything to work around the system and distribute drugs in the prison. She is not ready to get clean. Is leaving her in the general population to keep pushing drugs your choice?

I wonder if the prison system is the right place to put these people. I would think a locked down psychiatric facility where they can receive substance abuse counseling on a regular basis and where there are not any drugs being smuggled in. These people,who are more addicted to substances than actual criminals, are certainly not getting the individual help they need when they are thrown into prison.

Very much true and that is why I am working on my web page " Moms of Inmates" to get support groups to help us with a program of such. My daughter is not a criminal she did not rob a bank, or murder no body. I keep asking myself when did be an addict become a crime.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using Tapatalk

There is an entire message board dedicated to it called Prison Talk. They have a list of resources and support for people on the outside that are trying to navigate the system. There are parents, children, boyfriends, girlfriends etc. that are trying to cope. There is even a section for people that pick up additional charges while in prison.