Mightypeons History of Russia

[mightypeon]

Hi,
Here comes my attempt of making a more interesting portrait of Russian history, something that, I guess, not too many people here know a lot about.

Normal Characters are facts, stuff in Italics hopefully amusing comments.


35.000 years ago.
Many Nomads roam the wide plains of Russia. The Greeks trade a bit, and the Nomans occassional shoot projectiles at Greeks.
It is also fucking cold.

Roughly 600 AD:
The Varangiarians (Wikings) sail through the Wolga, and use the Crim as a "base of operations" in order to pillage the Greeks/Romans/Byzantines/Rich people.
The Nomads are impressed with the Varangairan pillaging skills, and Nomads and Wikings join up and create the first state of the area, the Kievan Rus.
The Kievan Rus spreads northward, eventually founding major cities like Novgorod and Nischni Novgorod. Most contact is taking place with Skandinavians and the Byzantines. The Rus also pick up Orthodoxy, after sending out an Ambassador to find out about Catholicism and Islam.
Concerning Catholicism, the Rus Ambassador claimed Rome to be "amoral" (truth the be told, the Papacy was occasionaly famous for its orgies, wether Russian was pissed at the Orgies or pissed at not beeing allowed to participate is unknown), while the Muslem description of Paradise ("Palm tree will give you shelter from the heat!" "What, Shelter from the heat? As in Cold? I am from Russia, Cold is not a desireable state!") somehow was not overly appealing. Also, Ramadan and Polar Nights dont Mix well.
So, Russia was a strongly decentralised state, with everyone beeing more or less Orthodox and everyone doing more or less their own thing.

Then came the Mongols...

 

[elvis]

what about Zhukov's war crimes?

 

[Old Rocks]

And?

 

[Baruch Menachem]

He has a long way to go yet, He is only up to 1300. Zhukov is stil 600 years in the future. Patience, grasshopper.

 

[eagleseven]

Is he going to return and tell the tale of Великое Княжество Московское (Grand Duchy of Muskovy)?

 

[Baruch Menachem]

Be a while.

Meanwhile, he has got up to the mongols, so we might as well listen to appropriate music.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8C8frqCKKg"]Appeasement won't work[/ame]

Just so you know what is going on here, Prince Igor, way out of his league militaryily offers his daughters as bribes to the Mongols will leave his principality alone.

Didn't work.

 

[Anguille]

Is he going to return and tell the tale of Великое Княжество Московское (Grand Duchy of Muskovy)?

Maybe he put himself to sleep?

 

[mightypeon]

Actually, the Mongols didnt not quite came yet. Before the Mongols came tribes of various random steppe people (Cumans, Pechenegs etc.), their incursions, (and the difficulties in retailiating against them, it is really hard to strike back at Horse Nomads in a plain) were another big reason why many Rus emigrated into the more northern, densily forested, areas.

Novgorod for example has always been a trade outpost, but was, to an extent, repopulated by Rus from Kiev.

When the Mongols came, the Rus though "geez, another kind of pillaging Horse Nomads!".
And attempted to met them in Battle at Kalka River.
Originally, the Kievans tried to convince their Cuman neighbours in the east of a more peacefull coexistence, utilising several royal marriages. However, the Mongols began to strike out of Irak, broke through the Caucasus defeating Georgia and also crushed a Cuman force (that was allied to Caucasian tribes). The Cuman leader (who was wed to the daughter of the Kievan King), sought refuge in Kiev. When the Mongols demanded the surrender of the Cuman warlord, Kiev refused an marshalled for war.
Initially, the Kievan (which was quite the force, they did have an efficient mixture of Cuman Steppe Riders, heavily armoured Russian Boyars and, for a Steppe people, good infantry in form of Axemen coming from Viking traditions) army was successfull in routing the Mongol Rear guard. The Mongols then engaged on a 3 day log retreat, which succeeded in splitting the Rus cavalry from the heavy infantry support.
Feeling overconfident (and not wanting to give the Mongols time to retreat further), the Rus attacked without waiting for their infantry, and were defeated in a pitched battle amongst the Banks of Kalka River.
However, the infantry arrived in time to save the fleeing Cavalry, and the Kievan force took shelter in a fortified camp.
A bit of a stalemate ensued, with the Mongols having no wish to assault the fortfied Camp (assaulting things with Horse archers is a bad idea), and the Rus beeing incapable of setting up battle lines.
Eventually, the Rus, who thought of the thing as "another raid", offered to surrender on terms of safe conduct and a tribute, which the Mongols accepted, only to slaughter the Rus once they left the camp (Sources vary greatly, however, in a similiar situation in Hungary, the Hungarian king convinced his soldiers to not surrender by reminding them what happened in Kalka).
While this was not the end of Kiev, the major armies were crushed, and when the Mongols returned they burned Kiev to the ground.

The Mongols proceeded to overrun all of Russia, expect for Novgorod, which was protected by Forests, Swamp, and the leaderhsip of Aleksandr Nevski.

 

[ScottBernard]

Russia is a true mix-up of Rus, Slavic, and Turkic Asiatic people.
I remember watching a show on PBS that tried to solve the mystery of some mummies discovered in Eastern China that were of obvious European genealogy.
In another related special, they even managed to go out to some of the nomadic tribes in Mongolia and find a fare-skinned Mongolian girl with blonde hair. Yup, blonde as any actress in Hollywood. I was shocked.
So there there very well could be some European DNA way way back in the woodpile with some Asian people.

 

[mightypeon]

Well during the Pax Mongolicana, one estimated that up to 1000 Europeans lived somewhere in China/Mongolia/East Asia.
Genoese and Venetian traders had port rights there, and the Yuan dynasty was quite welcoming towards foreigners.

 

[Anguille]

This is making me hungry for borscht.

 

[amiam*]

I wonder who is financing this site?

Russia The Puissant
Russian Victories Topol-M

 

[mightypeon]

Well, you have Nationalists in many countries, especially in the USA.

 

[Diuretic]

My personal hero of this time is Vladimir. He rejected Islam because it rejected alcohol. That's my kind of ruler!!!

 

[Xenophon]

Seems like you have a long way to go.

 

[Baruch Menachem]

Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter. The rise of Ma's Cow.

Oh, just as a quick note, Moscow was founded by a guy named Long armed George. An attitude kept by the rulers of Russia even today.

 

[Anguille]

Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter. The rise of Ma's Cow.

I can wait. I'm not in a russia.