"Me and Tom Cruise" [2016]

Abishai100

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Americans love media and this love is even reflected in American films such as Network, Celebrity, and Broadcast News.

I studied Cognitive Science at Dartmouth College (Hanover, New Hampshire) where I developed an interest in cultural anthropology. I find the connections between mass psychology and culture very fascinating.

Why do Americans hype movie stars and celebrate fantasy-rich films such as Iron Man and The Dark Knight?

Here's a short-story I wrote (using myself as the inspiration for one of the characters) about an everyday American meeting the American movie star Tom Cruise and forging a 'crusader-alliance.'



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Ajay looked at his dormitory alarm clock. It was 9 a.m. on a snowy Saturday morning at Yale University (Connecticut, USA). He was excited to hear a new 'freshman welcoming' speech delivered by the American movie actress Claire Danes who had just been accepted into Yale. Ajay had a secret crush on Danes and decided to attend the speech in the hopes of meeting the beautiful young actress. He looked at his notes about "Media and Society" (his senior thesis) and then headed to the speech.

In Los Angeles, a special conference headed by big-name movie stars was about to begin. The conference was to address the opportunity that modern movie stars have in marketing politically-conscious ideas in the media. This conference was specifically about actors/actresses participating in eco-activism talks and events. The conference was spearheaded by American movie stars Leo DiCaprio and Michael Douglas, and Tom Cruise was looking at his watch to make sure he would not arrive late.

The Toronto Blue Jays outfielder John Olerud looked up at the sky as he took batting practice hits on a cold but crisp October morning. He remembered what his father told him about the special magic of a professional baseball field as the sunlight hit the diamonds. Olerud had become increasingly interested in eco-activism events and was considering ways to use his athlete-spotlight to promote environmental awareness. What he did not realize, however, was that a terrorist from the Middle East was planning a bomb-attack on that evening's Blue Jays playoff game.

Ajay and Tom Cruise were both attending that targeted Blue Jays playoff game. Toronto was playing the Boston Red Sox in an ALDS series, and both Ajay and Tom were huge Red Sox fans and purchased tickets to attend the exciting deciding Game 7. Tom and Ajay sat on opposite sides of the baseball stadium, and the game was set to begin at 4 p.m. John Olerud came out to the pitcher's mound after the national anthem ceremony to deliver a special speech about the opportunity celebrities have in promoting environmental awareness.

Suddenly, Tom Cruise got up from his seat and pulled out a megaphone and yelled into it, "We know you intend to bomb this game, mystery audience-member!" Then, Ajay got up and pulled out a megaphone too and yelled into it, "We also know that your grudge is against Western capitalism, which is why you're attacking a televised sports event!" As Tom and Ajay realized they both knew about the terrorism plot, they decided to run to the front entrance of the stadium to meet each other. Would this be a new 'evangelical alliance'?

TOM CRUISE: How did you know about the terrorism plot?
AJAY: An anonymous op-ed in the Boston Globe titled, "Why I curse the Sox-Jays series!"
TOM CRUISE: I read that too; that's how I knew too.
AJAY: Do you think it has anything to do with Olerud's eco-activism speech?
TOM CRUISE: Probably. It's all connected to a terrorist (industrialization, capitalism, etc.).
AJAY: What's your plan?
TOM CRUISE: My megaphone-outburst should get the attention of the police.
AJAY: That was my plan too.
TOM CRUISE: The cops will take it from here.
AJAY: Yep.
TOM CRUISE: Are you a fan of my movies?
AJAY: Of course! Rain Man, Jerry Maguire, Valkyrie, they're great!
TOM CRUISE: Perhaps you'd be interested in my Scientology Eco-Activism Brochure.
AJAY: Email it to me!

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CrusaderFrank

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The secret to Tom's success is his shiny white teeth
 
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Abishai100

Abishai100

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The Intelligence File



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Tom Cruise was now Agent 006 working for Mossad, while Ajay was recruited by ISIS as a special Internet blogging negotiator. Cruise's newest assignment was to infiltrate the intricate web-ring Ajay created by forwarding ideas about pro-populism approaches to inviting fundamentalist Islamics to the United Nations through Al Jazeera TV advertising and marketing. Cruise was impressed with Ajay's efforts and was equally interested in the capitalism-potential hidden in Al Jazeera TV, but he didn't want to compete with his old friend; but those were his orders.

ISIS had started calling Ajay Agent 007, and the CIA underground and Mossad 'execs' started calling the Cruise-Ajay game a new-era 'crusade,' which only the social critics for the future would be able to sort out and evaluate. For now, Cruise (006) was earnestly looking for ways to build bridges with Ajay (007). 006 sent a memo to 007 through a common associate, which read, "Meet me on the roof of the new Empire State Building (ESB) in two weeks at sunset!" 007 realized the invitation was serious and discovered that Mossad's 006 was hot-on-his-trail and hypothesized it was Tom Cruise behind that intelligence-unit alias.

When 006 and 007 met on the ESB roof, they came up with a delicious compromising plan. They would attend a high school reunion (Cruise's) posing as an 'experimental ambiguously-homosexual couple' while talking about Jewish-American rights at the affair. The next day, 006 would talk to the media/press about movie stars' special opportunity to use their celebrity to promote democratic involvement in new age politics. Meanwhile, 007 would write about Al Jazeera TV 'products and goods' on Facebook. This would handle all mission assignments designed to make 006 and 007 sworn-enemies in this new polarizing Israel-Palestine hotbed environment.

The gods themselves were intrigued (especially Shiva and Krishna --- the gods of destruction and negotiation, respectively, who were meditating in the Himalayas of Nepal).

SHIVA: These humans seem genuinely interested in 'network intelligence.'
KRISHNA: They love the Internet (Facebook, eTrade, etc.).
SHIVA: Do you know how many law students there are in America?
KRISHNA: Too many!
SHIVA: Cruise and Ajay seem like perfect 'diplomats' of complementary parties.
KRISHNA: Israel-Palestine is the new Cold War.
SHIVA: Everyone's involved.
KRISHNA: Everyone.
SHIVA: Maybe 006 and 007 will become 'strange bedfellows.'
KRISHNA: Or Batman and Robin.
SHIVA: Imagination meets espionage.
KRISHNA: This is what Orson Welles destroyed.

====



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Abishai100

Abishai100

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Doomsday Magazine


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Ajay and Tom realized that the gravity of their 'newfound warrior status' made them akin to the Hindu deities Krishna (god of negotiation) and Shiva (god of destruction). Growing up as fans of pulp comics and popular religion, Ajay and Tom entertained the notion that they became 'key players' in a new age governed by 'infiltration intelligence' and enjoyed thinking of themselves as 'Internet-friendly gibberish avatars.' The two met at the Library of Congress (disguised) to talk about key challenges to their democratic power. Tom started to wonder if the AntiChrist may appear as some kind of 'cosmetics celebrity.'

SHIVA (Ajay): I've been cuckolded by all three of my wives.
KRISHNA (Tom): Hey, there are women out there...who want to destroy me!
SHIVA: I can't believe we're confiding in each other.
KRISHNA: Let's face it, I'm 006, and you're 007!
SHIVA: It's funny how the media has made gods out of social critics.
KRISHNA: Blame Jerry Springer.
SHIVA: Or Donald Trump!
KRISHNA: They're both great.
SHIVA: Agreed.
KRISHNA: Do you think Melania Trump is an appealing First Lady?
SHIVA: I have reason to believe she has ties to Mossad.
KRISHNA: What??
SHIVA: Think about it --- the CIA wants to make bedfellow-rings.
KRISHNA: Alright, I can believe that; let's suppose this new world is like the Dark Ages.
SHIVA: Did African-Americans benefit from the Anita Hill and OJ Simpson scandals?
KRISHNA: If the two of us have to answer that riddle, God whitewash America!

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