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May The Best Coiffed Candidate Win


Platinum Member
Jul 12, 2011
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The GOP nomination fight will ultimately hinge on the one factor that always tips presidential elections.That's why I can say Rick Perry will beat Mitt Romney by a hairs lenght.
For more than half a century,American voters have unfailingly elected the candidate with the best hair---the guy with the lock on locks.
John Kennedy defeated Richard Nixon by a razor-thin margin in 1960.Nixon's already receding,slick-backed "do" was NO match for the young,wavy head of hair from Massachusetts.
After JFK's death/murder,Democrats were stuck with Lyndon Johnson's lousy haircut and would have surrendered the White House had Republicans come up with any hairdo better than Barry Goldwater's.Lbj sealed victory by wearing a large cowboy hat whenever possible.
The nation soon plunged into a period of fallow follicles:razz:Nixon re-emerged,beating perhaps the only two Democrats with weaker hair:Hubert Humphrey,whose receding hairline was made worse by a round face and prominent barren forehead:and George McGovern,whose heart was in the right place but whose head was burdened with a horrible comb-over.
Vowing not to repeat the McGovern debacle,Democrats nominated the nation's most commanding haircut in Jimmy Carter.Republicans were totally powerless with the head of Gerald Ford,who by 1976 had lost most of that helped him get to Washington in the first place.
Four years later,desperate Republicans turned to Hollywood for a candidate with star-powered coiffure.Ronald Reagan trimmed Carter's chances and later won re-election by buzzing right through Walter Mondale's skimpy grey lid.
In 1988, many pundits were convinced that Michael Dukakis had the hair to beat George H W Bush,but voters thought the Dukakis hairdo was too rigid,too perfect,too large for his smallish head.Rumours even swirled that he was sporting a toupee.In the closing stages of the campaign,Dukakis covered up with an Army helmet but lost.
Bill Clinton ushered in a new wave of hair.Strangely appealing especially to women voters,Clinton's flowing Salt and Pepper beat Bush H.W.,then over powered Bob "this is my natural colour"!!!!Dole.
By paving the way for executive grey,Clinton have have handed the 2000 election to George W Bush,who managed to attract the "young grey"vote,though Al Gore was a hair's breadth away.John Kerry had overwhelming hair,but wasn't enough to topple an incumbent head of state.
In 2008,the US elected its first African-American haircut,as Barack Obama was pitted against the ageing lid of John McCain.
The 2008 campaign also saw the emergence of stong female candidates including Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin.It remains to be seen whether Americans are too sexist to entrust their highest office to someone capable of bad hair days.
What worries Democrats is that Obama has been greying rapidly in office, while Republicans have turned to the party's most dominant hairdos in Messrs Perry and Romney.If it comes down to Healthcare versus Hair Care,Republicans could win.

How will it Comb out?????It's too early to tell,but while you waste time with Gallup and Pew, I'll be watching the Barber Poll.....Just Saying Theliq:cool:

Mad Scientist

Feels Good!
Sep 15, 2008
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already a thread on this. This one should be deleted.
So why did post in both then?

Besides, it seems "Gardasil" Ricks' only redeeming value may be his hair.

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