Man Sends Wife Spreadsheet Of All Her Excuses Not To Have Sex

[PixieStix]

He was telling her that their relationship was about sex, nothing more nothing less

He told her it would be nice if a couple of 26 year olds, who have no kids, and have only been married for two years could have sex more than 3 times every 6 weeks. I certainly saw that much.

I didn't see anything saying that the relationship was all "about sex," however.

Now I know how she felt...it was like

 

[Sgt_Gath]

So what? So it's not going to work to get him what he wants because sex is in the realm of the emotional/impusive, and not the rational/systematic. So it tells us a lot about why he's prolly not getting what he wants. That's what.

Some of us are more Left-brained than others. Deal with it, because it's not going to change.

Like I said, if she didn't want a guy like that, she never should have married him in the first place. The simple fact of the matter is that she's the one who's failing to meet her marital obligations here, and she's the one who refuses to "meet him half way" when it comes to correcting that disconnect.

From the looks of things, she's simply not giving him anything to work with, and now she's trying to embarrass him because he complained.

"Mature" and "loving," her actions are not, I'm afraid.

 

[Pogo]

He was telling her that their relationship was about sex, nothing more nothing less

He told her it would be nice if a couple of 26 year olds, who have no kids, and have only been married for two years could have sex more than 3 times every 6 weeks. I certainly saw that much.

I didn't see anything saying that the relationship was all "about sex," however.

Now I know how she felt...it was like

I know, right? I'm making a spreadsheet right now of all the times Gath and others have posted with nothing but the left brain. It's not going to be "nice".

And btw nothing about an Excel document can be described as "nice". "Clinical" maybe. "Sterile", definitely. But "nice"? mmmm.... not so much.

 

[Pogo]

So what? So it's not going to work to get him what he wants because sex is in the realm of the emotional/impusive, and not the rational/systematic. So it tells us a lot about why he's prolly not getting what he wants. That's what.

Some of us are more Left-brained than others. Deal with it, because it's not going to change.

Then why should she?

Like I said, if she didn't want a guy like that, she never should have married him in the first place. The simple fact of the matter is that she's the one who's not "meeting him half way" here, and she's the one who's failing to meet her marital obligations.

How do you know he was a guy like that at the time?

From the looks of things, she's simply not giving him anything to work with, and now she's trying to embarrass him because he complained.

"Mature" and "loving," her actions are not, I'm afraid.

And compiling a spreadsheet, attaching it to an e-mail while she's on her way to the airport, and then running away, is?

 

[Sgt_Gath]

Now I know how she felt...it was like

I know, right? I'm making a spreadsheet right now of all the times Gath and others have posted with nothing but the left brain. It's not going to be "nice".

And btw nothing about an Excel document can be described as "nice". "Clinical" maybe. "Sterile", definitely. But "nice"? mmmm.... not so much.

And we wonder why so many modern American marriages end in divorce.

I think a bit more "Left Brain" thinking might do you guys good, to be honest.

 

[Pogo]

Now I know how she felt...it was like

I know, right? I'm making a spreadsheet right now of all the times Gath and others have posted with nothing but the left brain. It's not going to be "nice".

And btw nothing about an Excel document can be described as "nice". "Clinical" maybe. "Sterile", definitely. But "nice"? mmmm.... not so much.

And we wonder why so many modern American marriages end in divorce.

I think a bit more "Left Brain" thinking might do you guys good, to be honest.

"You guys" who?

Here's a hint: sex ain't got squat to do with the left brain. As we simplistically define such hemispheres. The point of all this is, if he broke a synapse sweat to communicate with his right brain, we mightn't have a story here at all.

 

[PixieStix]

Now I know how she felt...it was like

I know, right? I'm making a spreadsheet right now of all the times Gath and others have posted with nothing but the left brain. It's not going to be "nice".

And btw nothing about an Excel document can be described as "nice". "Clinical" maybe. "Sterile", definitely. But "nice"? mmmm.... not so much.

And we wonder why so many modern American marriages end in divorce.

I think a bit more "Left Brain" thinking might do you guys good, to be honest.

No it would make us robotic. Like it or not marriage is about an emotional attachment, which can turn into a lifetime of happiness.

And by the way, I am not divorced. So there. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

 

[Sgt_Gath]

Then why should she?

She's the one with the problem here.

Again, if she insists on changing nothing, she has that right. However, I wouldn't expect her to have a marriage or a husband at the end of it. lol

How do you know he was a guy like that at the time?

People don't change. If she married this man with the deliberate intention of trying to change him in the first place, then the fault is again on her, for that exact reason.

And compiling a spreadsheet, attaching it to an e-mail while she's on her way to the airport, and then running away, is?

No, that was basically a declaration of war letting her know that he was done with the whole thing.

The 6 weeks of trying to initiate physical intimacy only to be shot down again, and again, however...

 

[PixieStix]

A class for Sgt_Gath http://www.usmessageboard.com/the-flame-zone/367530-how-too-make-a-woman-happy.html

 

[Sgt_Gath]

A class for Sgt_Gath http://www.usmessageboard.com/the-flame-zone/367530-how-too-make-a-woman-happy.html

I'll keep that in mind.

 

[PixieStix]

A class for Sgt_Gath http://www.usmessageboard.com/the-flame-zone/367530-how-too-make-a-woman-happy.html

I'll keep that in mind.

 

[Pogo]

Wow, your aim is getting really bad here dood...

Then why should she?

She's the one with the problem here.

Again, if she insists on changing nothing, she has that right. However, I wouldn't expect her to have a marriage or a husband at the end of it. lol

You don't see what you're saying? That he doesn't need to change, while she does?

How do you know he was a guy like that at the time?

People don't change. If she married this man with the deliberate intention of trying to change him in the first place, then the fault is again on her, for that exact reason.

"People don't change"??? says the left hemisphere...
Not remotely close though; people in a dating mode, especially male, will embellish here and play down there for maximum 'sell'. You MUST know that.

You couldn't possibly have missed the point by more. The point was not that she's changing him; the point is that he could have changed himself in the time between the courtship and the present. We don't know, therefore your premise has no basis.

 

[Gracie]

marital obligations

I really have a problem with that phrase. Along with "wifely duty". Because two people choose to marry does not mean either one is obligated to do anything sexual. Or is marriage supposed to be nothing BUT sex? And how often is he or she "obligated" to "do their duty"? Once a day. Twice a day? 5 times a week? Once a month? And whether the one or the other wants it or not..it's their "marital DUTY"?

 

[PixieStix]

marital obligations

I really have a problem with that phrase. Along with "wifely duty". Because two people choose to marry does not mean either one is obligated to do anything sexual. Or is marriage supposed to be nothing BUT sex? And how often is he or she "obligated" to "do their duty"? Once a day. Twice a day? 5 times a week? Once a month? And whether the one or the other wants it or not..it's their "marital DUTY"?

Maybe like brushing? After every meal?

 

[Gracie]

And what if the man was in an accident and wound up in a wheelchair, no "movement" any more below his waist? Since he can no longer do his "husbandly duty"...should the wife divorce him because after all...she isn't getting any anymore that is SOOOO important to the marriage, right? She isn't to stand by her man in all aspects IF he can't get it up. Or won't get it up for whatever reason.

No no. DUTIES must be performed.

 

[Gracie]

marital obligations

I really have a problem with that phrase. Along with "wifely duty". Because two people choose to marry does not mean either one is obligated to do anything sexual. Or is marriage supposed to be nothing BUT sex? And how often is he or she "obligated" to "do their duty"? Once a day. Twice a day? 5 times a week? Once a month? And whether the one or the other wants it or not..it's their "marital DUTY"?

Maybe like brushing? After every meal?

oh. Sorry. I'm slow tonight. I get it. lol

 

[Sgt_Gath]

You don't see what you're saying? That he doesn't need to change, while she does?

He is the one with the grievance, and he is the one who issued the ultimatum, is he not?

He's already basically flat-out told her that he's done with the relationship unless she gives him something to work with. Where do you imagine things will go from here if she stands firm and refuses to meet him half-way?

"People don't change"??? says the left hemisphere...
Not remotely close though; people in a dating mode, especially male, will embellish here and play down there for maximum 'sell'. You MUST know that.

You couldn't possibly have missed the point by more. The point was not that she's changing him; the point is that he could have changed himself in the time between the courtship and the present. We don't know, therefore your premise has no basis.

They've been together for five years, and dated for three before getting married.

Don't you think that they probably would've already hit the "mellowing out" stage of the relationship by this point?

Again, besides which, she hasn't even listed any such complaints in her public justifications. She's basically just said that said that she's been "too tired" lately, and tried to place the blame on him by calling him passive aggressive.

In fairness, the spreadsheet was a somewhat passive aggressive move. However, we can't say for sure whether he did not breach the subject with her before he presented her with the spreadsheet either.

 

[dilloduck]

marital obligations

I really have a problem with that phrase. Along with "wifely duty". Because two people choose to marry does not mean either one is obligated to do anything sexual. Or is marriage supposed to be nothing BUT sex? And how often is he or she "obligated" to "do their duty"? Once a day. Twice a day? 5 times a week? Once a month? And whether the one or the other wants it or not..it's their "marital DUTY"?

Somewhere between constantly and never.

 

[PixieStix]

marital obligations

I really have a problem with that phrase. Along with "wifely duty". Because two people choose to marry does not mean either one is obligated to do anything sexual. Or is marriage supposed to be nothing BUT sex? And how often is he or she "obligated" to "do their duty"? Once a day. Twice a day? 5 times a week? Once a month? And whether the one or the other wants it or not..it's their "marital DUTY"?

Somewhere between constantly and never.

 

[Sgt_Gath]

marital obligations

I really have a problem with that phrase. Along with "wifely duty". Because two people choose to marry does not mean either one is obligated to do anything sexual. Or is marriage supposed to be nothing BUT sex? And how often is he or she "obligated" to "do their duty"? Once a day. Twice a day? 5 times a week? Once a month? And whether the one or the other wants it or not..it's their "marital DUTY"?

Suffice to say, at least one partner in the relationship in question has a need for physical intimacy which the other is deliberately choosing not to fill. I believe he has grounds for legitimate grievance as such.

If they want the relationship to work, it would be advisable that they attempt to find some happy medium which meets both partners' needs.

If not, well... I simply don't see things ending very well.

And what if the man was in an accident and wound up in a wheelchair, no "movement" any more below his waist? Since he can no longer do his "husbandly duty"...should the wife divorce him because after all...she isn't getting any anymore that is SOOOO important to the marriage, right? She isn't to stand by her man in all aspects IF he can't get it up. Or won't get it up for whatever reason.

No no. DUTIES must be performed.

I'd say that it was kind of a terrible thing to do to someone. However, most states do consider lack of sexual intimacy to be valid grounds for divorce either way regardless.

The issue at hand here is that she has no such medical condition. She's turning down sex for no justifiable reason whatsoever.

Like it or not, sex is an important element of a successful marriage. Why stay together if you're not willing to be physically intimate?