make your own "the most interesting man in the world" bits

[shart_attack]

Let's make some new ones of our very own, right here.

He has never dropped a call.

 

[shart_attack]

People at restaurants ask him to put one of his hairs in their soups.

 

[TheOldSchool]

He revolutionized the internet by being the first person to instagram a photo of his fancy dinner

 

[shart_attack]

He has never lost a sock in the clothes dryer.

 

[TheOldSchool]

Women put the toilet seat up for him

 

[shart_attack]

His loose change is always exact.

 

[shart_attack]

His jokes are so awesome, they don't need punch lines.

 

[shart_attack]

Wild dogs clean up their poop when they see he's about to step in it.

 

[TheOldSchool]

Wild dogs clean up their poop when they see he's about to step in it.

Dogs step in HIS poop!

 

[shart_attack]

His disposable batteries have never run out of juice.

 

[shart_attack]

Rock stars throw panties at HIM.

 

[shart_attack]

No fly, out of sheer respect, has ever landed on his food.

 

[shart_attack]

Movies watch HIM.

 

[shart_attack]

[MENTION=44683]Pennywise[/MENTION]
[MENTION=26838]Ropey[/MENTION]
[MENTION=36154]Roudy[/MENTION]
[MENTION=40495]AngelsNDemons[/MENTION]
[MENTION=39688]RosieS[/MENTION]

He has never gotten socks or pajamas from anyone as a holiday gift.

 

[shart_attack]

He has never gotten sick of Thanksgiving Day leftovers.

 

[shart_attack]

His mother never threw away his best porno mag.

 

[shart_attack]

When he was an elementary school student, teachers would take him to the principal's office so he could give THEM spankings.

 

[shart_attack]

He does not see mirages in the desert: mirages see HIM.

 

[shart_attack]

Sharks in the open water are scared when he threshes.

 

[shart_attack]

He has never been called by a telemarketer, out of sheer respect.